3 year old needs diapers? Thoughts, advice please!

Melanie - posted on 10/25/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So I'll keep this as short as possible, two weeks ago I decided to potty train my son. When I decided to start I took him to the store to buy him some undies and he picked out some batman undies, and he absolutely loved them! I tried the 3 day potty training method and for the first 3 days he did great, he went potty almost all the time and only had 1 accident. I made him a chart and everything, the next day a couple more accidents and figured it was no big deal and carried on and the day after he full blown had accidents everywhere, he only made it to the potty once. So I made it a point after that to take him to the potty every fifteen minutes and have him sit down for five minutes on the potty. It seemed to work and for the next 3 days he only had 2 accidents.

The next day I decided to throw him a party and threw out his diapers celebrating no more diapers! I reexplained to him that this meant he was a big kid now and now he needs to tell mommy when he needs to potty. He was excited and the next few days went well, he let me know almost every two hours that he needed to go potty and only had two small accidents on the third day due to him not asking me as much. I let him know to keep being a big boy and to keep telling mommy when he has to go potty. He did well again for another day or two, and again!!! He stops letting me know, which brings us to today. Earlier today I go to the mall with a friend to go Christmas shopping while my daughter and her older kids are in school. As we're shopping my son will NOT let me know when he has to go potty. He tells me once in the six hours we were there as we arrived in the parking lot. I took him and he tried to pee but he couldn't... So, we continue shopping, fifteen minutes later he pees his pants. So we have to stop what we're doing, and I take him to get changed. I change him into some fresh clothes and we continue with our day. Another hour passes and I made to check if he needs to go potty frequently since he already used his change of clothes, I ask him every fifteen minutes "Bradley honey do you need to go potty", he tells me no. Literally not five minutes later he pees his only change of clothes. I take him to the bathroom for another change and have absolutely nothing to dress him in but socks and blanket. Luckily I was with my friend and her two year old son and was able to get a spare change of clothes from her as well as a diaper. She offers me a couple more which I refuse which I later end up accepting AND having to use because he will NOT tell me when he has to go!!! I have him in undies but had yet ANOTHER accident when we got home after I put him in undies. At this point I'm not sure what to do, any thoughts on this?

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Warren - posted on 10/27/2016

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Talk it out with them but don't have unrealistic expectations. I had a 2 1/2 year old go from diapers to undies with zero accidents because he was ready, and a 6-year-old who refused to fully transition.

Know your child and don't stress them out by forcing them to do something they are not ready to do yet.

Like everything else, ie/ school, camp, doctors appointments, the more you can explain to the, and converse with them, the more success you can expect.

Just my 2 cents worth.

Jodi - posted on 10/26/2016

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In addition to what the others have said, just remember, he has JUST learned to potty train and now you expect him to go all day using an unfamiliar toilet in a public restroom.......does this not strike you as an expectation that might just be out of his reach right now? You may have upset his routine - you were shopping for SIX hours. That's a pretty large day and would make for a very tired little boy who is expected to use a public toilet. I know when I was training my kids, I tried to avoid such large expectations that early on.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/26/2016

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Sarah and dove covered it.

My eldest trained himself, at his own pace, and was diaper free by 3.5 or so years. My second did get the boot camp method, but only after he indicated that he KNEW that diapers were for peeing in, so why bother using the toilet... needless to say, he went straight to undies and was trained, but not accident free, in a week.

It is not your body, and in this one you are better off going by his timetable rather than yours. You also need to keep in mind that some kids will NOT use a public restroom. My husband actually had to overcome his dislike of public facilities as well.

Dove - posted on 10/26/2016

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Personally speaking... I'm against potty training. Yeah, that probably sounds weird, but all of my kids did it when they were ready. My daughters naked trained and were 100% successful right from 18 months... ONLY if they were naked and awake... so they were naked at home almost all the time and in pull ups when we went out or they were sleeping. We ditched the day time pull ups a couple months before they turned 3 and the night time ones at 4.5, but they had day and night accidents for YEARS.

My son potty trained himself in diapers 100% at his pace and his call. I would ask him if he wanted to go and if he did I would help him if he needed it, but if he didn't want to go... no big deal cuz he had a diaper on. Silly, stubborn child was actually 100% potty trained day and night for a month before he would stop wearing diapers during the day and he only stopped wearing them at night when I ran out. But... he was much more successful and accident free than his sisters. Only a handful of random, minor daytime accidents and a handful of night time ones.

Sarah - posted on 10/26/2016

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Ok so....potty training is not about you. You can't just decide to train him overnight. It has to be something he is ready for. You have to go at his pass. You also have to realize he has to learn how it feels to need to go and to be able to control that physically. That takes time to learn. Just like a child learning to read you don't just one day decide your child is going to read give them a book and expect them to be reading it in 3 days. First you teach him the letters and their sounds. It takes time as they learn it. So my advise is stop pushing it and let it be his accomplishment not yours. Start a routine. Have him sit and try when he gets up in the AM, mid morning, after lunch, before and after nap, and before bed. Don't ask just take and have him try. If he goes make a big deal and maybe do a treat (1 m&m for pee 2 for poop). As he gets better at going change the treat reward. Instead of a treat each time he goes make it a treat when he tells you first and goes.....but make sure he is ready for that stage before you change it. It may take 1 week or 1 year for him to train, but it has to be his pass and his accomplishment.

Becky - posted on 10/25/2016

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Just buy him under wear. No more diapers. I started letting my son pee outside. The big problem I have now is him peeing all over the toilet and floor, so idk.

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