3 year old time bomb

Christine - posted on 07/22/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )




My 3 year old daughter has always been the more challenging one (we also have a 4.5 year old son). She had colic and rocked the witching hour as a baby. She owned the terrible twos. And now with 3s showing new challenges, I'm wondering if there is more to it or if she'll always be this "spirited".
She is strong willed and smart (and so so lovable) but has heartfelt, fully engulfing melt downs at the drop of a hat. One instant she can deal with a "no we can't do that right now" or the like with a simple disappointed ok. At another it is hysterical crying, wanting to be carried/hugged yet pushing, hitting (sometimes biting) begging desperately for her want. I'm at a loss. If she is that upset, I want to be there for her, even if I just hug her until she calms down (but never giving in to original demand). But am I feeding the fire? Could it be something medical? We are in the process of switching pediatricians, but she just had her well visit and everything looked fine (didn't like the dr. So am switching to another in the practice that my son went to). She goes to preschool/daycare 4 days and is fine there? Most days. Thanks for any advice.


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Christine - posted on 07/23/2014




Thanks Lori. So true about personality! I imagine her strong will will be an advantage to her throughout her life, I just want her to develop self soothing/ coping mechanisms for when things don't go her way. Which hopefully I'm being a good roll model (most days).
I am aware of the dye issues and do avoid them (not religiously, birthday parties and the like I usually bit my tongue). But I had not thought about a food allergy and/or sensitivity! I'll give it a go.
Thanks again!

Lori - posted on 07/22/2014




All kids do have their own personalities. So it could just be her personality.

However: I have 2 daughters age 6 and 3 1/2. My oldest was challenging from day 1. Colic, happy one moment screaming mad the next. Always took tons of time and attention…. and I mean much more time and attention than the average baby that takes lots of time and attention. She also has/had reflux pretty badly. At age 4 I finally listened to a friend that had suggested her reflux may be food intolerance related. I started to eliminate foods from her diet. What I've found is that she can not have Dairy, Soy, or Red 40. If we avoid those foods religiously, she no longer has any reflux, and in general she is a much happier child. My guess is that the foods were upsetting her tummy and making her feel a bit crappy overall. She also does much better with 3 meals plus 3 snacks per day to keep her from ever getting "hungry". When she's hungry, she turns into a monster….. not even close to her own self. No self control, nothing is OK, look at her funny if she's hungry and she looses it. Give her a banana (or whatever snack), and a minute later she's back to her happy spunky self.

I've also read lots of articles about red 40 since cutting it out of my daughters diet. It is possible that it, and other artificial food colors can cause hyperactivity. It hasn't been "proven" beyond a doubt… but many studies show a link, and I know many many people who have cut out the artificial colors and have noticed a real difference in their childs behavior.





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