Kristin - posted on 01/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )
Ok so let me get the story out there first. The 3yr old in question is my boyfriends son. I have 3 children of my own that are 9, 7, and 3 as well. I raised them essentially on my own their whole lives and they are well behaved and well mannered children. However, none of them have ADHD. My boyfriend moves in with his son and at first things are okay. After he starts getting settled in though, that's when his whole disposition changed. He has made a lot of progress as far as speech by being around us and my kids but that is where his progress ends. When he doesn't get what he wants, he cries and loudly. When he asks for something properly like to watch a tv show, we put it on but within a minute he is off doing something else. He has ripped the paint off the walls, peed and pooped his diaper and smears it all over his room floor (despite our best efforts, he still isnt potty trained), breaks all my kids toys, steals things, hits, yells, tries to go outside alone (until we had to put higher up door locks on the doors because he had gotten out twice before and headed straight for the road), destroys the house, constantly makes a mess, constantly wants to eat but when he gets food he plays with it and throws it around, raids the refrigerator, almost broke our TV by pushing it over.. etc. We have tried time-outs with eye level firm tone but not yelling correction, we have tried explaining what he is doing wrong and that it isn't okay, we have given him options, etc. None of this was working and sometimes he gets to a point where we had to spank him such as playing with electrical sockets or trying to play with dangerous tools or knives (which are where he cant get them now) and he cries and whines when it is happening but once we stop and walk away he is off doing it again like nothing happened. He cannot be left unattended for even a few seconds without getting into trouble. He has the most profound sense of hearing I have ever seen in a child and if he is doing something he knows he shouldn't and he hears me get up off my bed or out of a chair from a different room in the house he will go running and act like he never did a thing and then laughs about it. Where I have seen most kids get up in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with their parents like my kids used to, he will get out of his room and climb on the counters of the kitchen to get to things high up, try to leave the house, pulls books out of the book shelf or DVDs out of their covers and throw them around and break things so dangerously we have had to resort to locking him in his room at night because despite how much he cannot sit still and cant stop talking when we are around, he knows very well how to be quiet when he is doing something wrong and we'll never know about it. I know this isn't right but it is the only way we can ensure his safety. A couple of weeks ago we brought him to a child therapist and they told us that he likely has a VERY severe case of ADHD. Unfortunately the insurance we had lapsed and they won't let us renew so any pointers on affordable insurance for this kind of thing would be great as well. Ultimately we have no diagnosis however ADHD and mental disorders (manic depression, multiple personality disorder, sociopathy amongst several others) do run in his immediate family on the mothers side and ADHD on the fathers. I want the best for this child but I honestly don't know what to do anymore and his behavior is now starting to affect my kids, especially my 3 year old, who has started picking up the same bad habits he has. This has to stop but I don't know how. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!