3rd child....We're excited, people negative-need good comeback!!

Christy - posted on 07/15/2009 ( 17 moms have responded )




We are expecting our 3rd child and when we tell our exciting news some people respond do we know what causes this? We wanted a large family or atleast 3-4 children, yes we know what causes it. Each child is and will be 3 years apart. Any good combacks?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/23/2012




Of course we know what causes it, and we have a HECK of a good time doing it!

Oh, and Amy, that question has been asked since people learned how to count, and how to judge others for their decisions.

My eldest is 17, his brother 14, and while pregnant with my second, I got comments about my ability to "handle" it, or the same "don't you know what causes that" comments...so rudeness did not just suddenly jump out of the woodwork. You didn't notice it then, probably, but it did exist.

Kristie - posted on 05/23/2012




we want to make like rabbits? i have all this room in my house why not fill it up with kids?

Kristie - posted on 05/23/2012




oh that is great! I have 3 and they are 2 years apart. Was told by hubby's parents that I need to get tubes tied. wtf, we were already planning on it. would of been done with middle but insurance wanted me to think on it for 30 days.. atleast they did it right after last baby.. Now the older child can teach the younger ones what they know. my youngest knows how to do some addition and she will be in kindergarten in august!. They have friends for life, someone to know how crazy mommy is and now you have 3 to embarrass in front of their friends!!!!

Maria - posted on 05/22/2012




OMG, I am terrified now. When. My husband and I got married he wanted 5 kids I wanted 4, we settled on 3. We currently have two kids & were planning on our third. I had no idea it was just a big deal. I guess I shouldn't care what people think, right. I mean it's not like it's an accident we planned it. I can't believe people would actually ask if u have a tv. I love children, I want to have more children, if we could afford it we'd have more!!! I guess it worries me because I am mortified of being put on the spot, I never have the right comeback, then I feel like an idiot!!

Oh dear!

Danni - posted on 07/15/2009




so I'm not the only one huh?...I have 3 kids I'm married but we are 25 and EVERYONE says "wow your crazy!!!" and I tell them simply..."We want 4 or 5...the bigger the family the more love...and the younger we are the more time we get to spend with our grandkids...God only gives us so much time." because honestly thats how life works...its not about money...its not about my "time to myself" ...its about love and always having people to walk through this life with..

Leigh - posted on 07/15/2009




We went from a big screen to a flat screen TV? I was holding the pill tight between my knees & I dropped it? We wanted to put all three seat belts in the back of the car to use, we're interested in confirming there is such a thing as middle child syndrome, we decided we didn't want to confirm with the traditional 2.5 kids & rounded it up? Just a few that come to mind. Enjoy Christy, as a Mum of 3 the workload is only slightly more than 2 & you can 10 times as much enjoyment.

Marcee - posted on 07/15/2009




I have 3 children as well, some people just don't know what to say as if they need to say anything at all. A good response to that would be to say, "Are you familiar with the birds and the bees talk that your mom gave you?" Remember threes a charm!

Sharon - posted on 07/15/2009




How about " Well...seeing how low the collective IQ around here is we decided to have at leas 15 children in order to try and raise it. We couldn't just wait around for all the rude ignorant adults to die off. " I tend to get a little testy with non-pregnancy friendly people...it shows doesn't it lol

Christy - posted on 07/15/2009




Thank you, you are all very helpful!!! We along with our families are very excited! It is just irrating that because we are blessed with a boy and a girl that we are wrong to want another child in some people's eyes. I have always dreamt of more than two children no matter what the children's sexes were and feel extremely blessed that we are able to expand our family!

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Hi! Congrats on being pregnant. Kids are such a blessing. I have 4 and I got the moronic comments too. I thought my mother was going to CRY when I told her I was pregnant with #4! I don't get it. Just two generations ago people had 8, 10, 12 kids routinely. Since when is having 3 or 4 a sign of insanity?? I wanted six but was not fertile enough or young enough to get that many before I had to quit. Really 4 was the absolute minimum as far as I'm concerned. My answer to the "Don't you know what causes that?" question is to say (in a freakishly cheerful voice) "Oh yes! Isn't it wonderful! I want to have 12!!!" That usually makes their jaw drop so low that they can't say anything further. Luckily for me, we homeschool and we hang out with other homeschooled families. Among homeschoolers, 4 children is just getting started. There are 4 families in our local group alone that have 10. For people who think we're nuts, I say, "Their loss".

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Well no need for a snappy comeback, just be truthful with a statement that let's the person realize that their comment was hurtful and negative. Something like, "We are happy and excited. I'm so sorry you can't be more positive for us." Then walk away. Congrats on baby #3!

Dawn - posted on 07/15/2009




Congratulations! I got that when I was pregnant with my third too...and the looks you get at the grocery store with a big belly and two kids already can also be interesting. My response would be different depending on the situation--did I know them well, as an acquaintance or were they a VERY NOSY stranger.

My favorite thing to do though is to act very innocent, open your eyes very wide and keep a straight face and say: "No...I don't know what causes it...could you PLEASE tell me? I NEED a DETAILED explananation."

For those closer to you, II would also try to work into the conversation that you want a large family and may even have another one after this. That way, if you do, it will be expected and hopefully eliminate some of the negative comments. We started doing that and now that baby #3 is 16 months old we are getting questions on if we are still planning to have another and some actually just say "when you have your next one...."

Good luck. Don't let anyone steal your joy.

Malinda - posted on 07/15/2009




Congratulations to you!!

Honestly my response would be "probably the same thing that 'caused' the other two" or "sex, generally." Let the joke be on them.

Sabrina - posted on 07/15/2009




yes i hate that saying. i just tell them no and when i find out i will let them know. some poeple tell us they are going to buy us a big screen tv and cable for our room. already got that. i have 6 and have heard it alot. then the next thing will be are you done yet? cant stand that one either. i just say i dont know.

i got to the point that i wouldnt tell poeple becuase i didnt want them to take away my excitement. and besides they would find out sooner or later. wouldnt care by then i already had my excitement and couldnt kill it by then. good luck. and congrats on your new addition.

Amy - posted on 07/15/2009




Some folks are so rude! You would have never been asked a question like that 15yrs ago. I would love to have 3 children, I'm pregnant with number 2 (my boy will be 3 when he is born) but my hubs says he's done :(. We'll see if that changes in a few years...lol.
To answer the question...
Nope I don't know...how bout you enlighten me...oh, and please spare no detail. Maybe if I knew, I would have had more by now!

Congrats on baby number 3! Good luck with the jerks!

Kristy - posted on 07/15/2009




I can't think of a great comeback but I do want to commend you guys for having three children. I have one and I am exhausted at the end of the day. I know how the "jokes" can get but people are just rude nowadays. If I think of any I will post again.

Julie - posted on 07/15/2009




Hi I know what you mean! I have four kids and we got negative responses with our last two. I always responded with, "Yep, I do know what causes it. A stable marriage, containing two unselfish people, who have more then enough love for any child the Lord blesses us with." It usually stopped people in their tracks!

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