4-5 year old rage fits

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

My daughter has been carry difficult to handle . I'm a young mom of two kids .my four year old has been carry defient lately and none of my punishments have been working . I've tried giving her treats for good behavior . spanks for bad behavior . I've also tryed spraying her with a spray bottle instead of hitting her because I do not like to hit . can anyone give me any tips on how I can stop these rage fits . or how I can minimize her fits . I'm completely out of options except for talking with a child psychologist.

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Dove - posted on 04/20/2015

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You aren't listening... and now that you've deleted your account you probably won't... you LET her have her fit in her room. You stop trying to control her emotions and just let her get them out and THEN talk to her. Don't send her to her room for 'time out'... just let her be until she is ready to calm down.

[deleted account]

Spraying her was the only thing I could come up with. Im trying . and I do put her in her room she just screams for the while 4 minutes that she's in their .at least I'm not abuising her . and we always explain to her that her behavior is not good and show her the rite way of doing things . their is a point where if spanking or time outs don't work then its time to try something else . so spraying her us enough to get her to stop screaming so I can get her attention to talk to her so she can calm down . if you think its so terrible , do you have any other suggestions on how I can get her attention ,and get her to calm down?

Dove - posted on 04/19/2015

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Spraying her? She's not a cat clawing the furniture... what the hell kind of punishment is that? If you spank her for hitting you... there's your answer there...

What about telling her in brief and simple terms that her behavior is unacceptable and if she wants to throw her fit she can do it in her bedroom and you will listen to her when she is ready to act like a big girl?

Personally I find punishing a child for having emotions rather silly... we all have emotions and very strong feelings... it's just that by adulthood we (well, most of us) have learned to control our fits to the point that we don't make fools of ourselves in front of other people. As for STOPPING the fits... that depends on the child. Some children just need a bit of guidance and time to mature... other children DO need some counseling as unreasonable outbursts of anger can be a sign of depression and anxiety in children. I certainly wouldn't jump to that conclusion in a 4 year old though... I DID suspect something was up w/ my son by the time he was 4, but we didn't seek a diagnosis til 5.5 and didn't resort to counseling til 6.5.

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