4-year-old daughter sometimes treats my mom abusively

Lisa - posted on 02/03/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I have a beautiful, usually sweet (they all have their moments, right?) 4-year-old daughter who has a bad habit of sometimes treating my 86-year-old mother very badly. My mom lives with us and is in very good health, both physically and mentally, but she's no match for my very strong girl. When I go into work a couple of days a week -- I work at home the rest of the time -- it's just the two of them. Sometimes my DD behaves very well, but today she was what I would call abusive toward my mom. She screamed at her, threw things, spit at her, told her she couldn't come near her, and refused to go potty for her, choosing instead to wet/poop her pants. Potty training has been a struggle right along, but she'd been doing pretty well, and I thought we'd turned a corner. I called my mom to see how the day was going, and she was so distraught about DD's behavior that I left work early and rushed home (about a 25-minute drive in the middle of the day). By the time I got home, she seemed okay, and was fine the rest of the day. I just can't think what would cause my daughter to behave this way -- I know she loves her grandma, and she claims to know that this is bad and unacceptable behavior, but I don't know what to do. There are no other small kids in our neighborhood or anyone that's around during the day that could come help out. I'm frankly nervous about going into the office again on Thursday -- has anyone else ever had their child behave this way toward a relative? I have read a lot, and prayed a lot, about this, and I would welcome any helpful, constructive thoughts. Thank you!

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Raye - posted on 02/04/2015

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You can't be afraid to go to work. If your daughter continues to act out in a way that your mother can't handle, then maybe you need to think about a day-care, sitter, or other type of supervision for your daughter that might make it easier on both of them.

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