4 year old has no friends

Suzanne - posted on 05/14/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My little boy seems to have no friends at his preschool. He has attended these since he was 2. The teachers are very kind to him, but he sits alone and the other boys ignore him. He is normally bubbly and outgoing - never shy. He just says the boys don't like him. Sometimes he will play with the girls. I work a great deal, and because I am an older Mother, I have no friends with children his age. I am very concerned for him.

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Rebekah - posted on 05/18/2015

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Are you getting feedback from the teachers about what the dynamics are? Your son says that the boys don't like him, but what do the teachers see? Maybe they have a different perspective altogether. Maybe when he sits alone, the other boys think he doesn't want to play with them. Who knows... perspective changes everything. I'm just suggesting that you check with the adults (if you haven't already) and get their objective opinion. Perhaps they can give you specific observations of how he is interacting (or not) with others and it might give you ideas on how to help him. Maybe he needs some coaching on how to start play with others, or how to share, or how to be flexible, etc. Can the teachers help this process a bit in school? And by the way, I think its fine that he plays with the girls. Gender shouldn't matter. Maybe its more of a personality issue--for example, maybe the boys in his class play rough and that is not his interest? Otherwise, see if you can find other circles of kids (church groups, or play groups, or reading time at the library, etc) where he has a chance to meet other kids with other personalities... maybe he'll find some he clicks with. And, when you are in these settings, you will also get a chance to make friends with the moms so that you will have friends with kids his age. Both of you can branch out. Good luck! :)

Chava - posted on 05/14/2015

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Poor thing. That's gotta be hard for you both. Is he a very sensitive child, also? I would suggest really making an effort to have play dates at your home or in the homes of others.

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