4 Yr Old By Doesnt Perform Show & Tell at his Montesorri School well

Mithun - posted on 08/24/2015 ( 19 moms have responded )

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Hello All.

4 yr Old Son on mine .Yet another day, yet another phase and yet another issue.

So my son has been going to preschool/Montessori school for almost a year now.
At school as usual they have this "show&tell" session" for all the kids to come forward and talk about any subject of their choice.

I either ask my son to do as he likes - i mean prepare the way he wants or I tell him the pointers or short sentences to help him prepare better.So basically itsa very collaborative effort.we sit together and discuss the topic .we even sit together and make some craft work that he can talk about at school.ex - lamp/car/school buss/traffic lights/flower/laptop..many topics like this.we actually sit and make such things and then i help my sn prepare for his show and tell.

i have noticed many a times that at school he either forgets or he tells something totally different and much below his standard of compositions.

on a general note - my son speaks very well english and speaks very well at home and with people whom he knows well.Even at school his teachers have mentioned his comm skill exceeds expectations

Now my concern is -

1) Am i preparing him correctly for show & tell
2) Why does he not say the same thing at school which he has practiced well at home .
3) Is it a no big deal issue or Am I being too fussy about it ? or Am i pushing too much ?

Just wondering if any of the parents have faced a similar issue.

Apologies if i have missed any info and i am Happy to answer any questions you may have for me.

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Dove - posted on 08/26/2015

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He's 4. Never in my life have I 'prepared' a child for show and tell or worried about what they said or didn't say... and I've got two that are almost 14 and one that is 7.5... you are going way overboard and worrying about something for no reason.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/27/2015

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Oh my... I'm quoting your responses so that you'll know what I'm referring to...

"Stressed Out ? Why ? Its his area, his class, his friends . he has been goin to this school for almost a year.I am unsure why this could be a challenge."~~Stressed out because he's FOUR YEARS OLD, and learning to speak in public, regardless of how long he's been at the school or how long he's known his peers, is very stressful, especially for young children.

"You may be right.But if i dont take it seriously my sons reaction to it will be even worse.They learn from the parents isnt it " ~~Yes, children learn from their parents. However, the more you push him to be 'perfect' in his schoolwork, the more likely it will bite you in the ass, because he'll be SO stressed about being 'perfect' that he will no longer enjoy the experience of learning. I'm speaking from experience here. I had a very precocious 5 YO, I pushed him to be 'perfect' in all he did, and he withdrew from his peers, from his teacher, and proceeded to fight schooling for a long time...all because I thought he was capable of achieving at a much higher level and pushed him way beyond his level at too young an age.

"Thats exactly seems the problem with my child .He may not speak up even when its necessary.Activities like Show and tell helps build that confidence in children to help them speak up ?"~~Yes, Show & tell is a learning activity. They are learning to speak in front of people, and as Dove has stated, sometimes that anxiety NEVER goes away. Show & tell is an age appropriate introduction. The teachers are NOT looking for a dissertation or a thesis defense. They're looking to get the kid to communicate about his chosen show and tell. IT IS OK for him to get flustered, to break off early, or not present all that you think that he should. Again, the kid you're speaking of is FOUR and he's not a public speaker yet.

"Well No intentions to put anyone down.Apologies if my writing projected that message across.However this is the feedback i get from the teachers who said his comm skill is way way above."~~I'm assuming this is in response to the comment about him dumbing down his presentation for his peers. That person may have a very good point. If his peers aren't showing interest in your overly coached preparation for his show & tell, he knows it. Teach him to speak at a level that his peers are at, rather than pressuring him to present a dissertation each week.

If his teachers feel that he could communicate more effectively for his age, then they need to be prompting him with questions about his chosen subject.

You, in a nutshell, are being WAY too overboard with this.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/26/2015

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You're making too big a deal of this. Show & tell is to help get the kids used to speaking in front of their peers. It doesn't have to be scripted, nor does it have to be perfect.

19 Comments

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Mithun - posted on 08/27/2015

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Well No intentions to put anyone down.Apologies if my writing projected that message across.However this is the feedback i get from the teachers who said his comm skill is way way above.

Mithun - posted on 08/27/2015

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Thats exactly seems the problem with my child .He may not speak up even when its necessary.Activities like Show and tell helps build that confidence in children to help them speak up ?

Mithun - posted on 08/27/2015

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You may be right.But if i dont take it seriously my sons reaction to it will be even worse.They learn from the parents isnt it ?

Mithun - posted on 08/27/2015

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Thanks for writing to me - Stressed Out ? Why ? Its his area, his class, his friends . he has been goin to this school for almost a year.I am unsure why this could be a challenge.Yes , true that Its great that he getting up there but his potential I think he works smart to just wrap it up and get over with.How do I deal with that now.

Raelene - posted on 08/27/2015

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Even for adults having to speak in front of a crowd can be down right nerve wreaking, this takes time and practice to overcome, keep encouraging your little man.

Trq - posted on 08/27/2015

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you have got to be kidding me...Kudos to you for creating a baby genius, but hes, 4...he wont be doing his doctrine real soon so i'd exhale for now, and relax

Emma - posted on 08/26/2015

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I think your heart is in the best place but your child may find you to be on an intellectual plane his fellow students are not so is dumbing down the presentation for them. I'm sure he's also shy to be the center of attention so rushing through it. No biggy;)

Dove - posted on 08/26/2015

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Oh... and for the record... one of the teenagers came home from school yesterday and was 'so proud of herself' because she didn't have to talk to a single person at school for half the day. lol She HATES talking to/in front of people (but will do it when necessary). Always has and, probably, always will. She gets that from me. ;)

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/26/2015

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He might just get stressed out standing in front of everyone and goes back to the basics. At least he is getting up there and talking. That is great! Since he is not in his own environment, he may not be at ease like he is at home. Be proud of him for standing up and talking about it. It is OK that he does not recite the same things at school. I urge you to talk with the teachers about this. It DOES seem like it is a big concern of yours. He is only 4. He needs to express himself in front of a group in a way that makes him comfortable.

Mithun - posted on 08/24/2015

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many thanks for the prompt response .
firstly brilliant point of view - i think the same and very much with you.same pinch !!!
It should be free hand basically to bring out the creativity in the child.

now situation is -
when i ask the child to speak about any topic of his choice - he says i dont know what to say.so what i do is help him with some pointers ( I stress again - its done collaboratively ) which has worked very well and he forms some super sentences and all looks super duper.its just max to max 4 simple sentences.
However at the school he doesn't say the same thing that he has developed at home.
Instead he would recite something very very basic.Not once not twice , every time he does it.

example : latest show &tell topic - school bus

what my son prepared at home - today i have a school buss for show and tell.its a vehicle that drop you to school.the bus picks you up from the bus stop,so dont miss it or you y be late to school.watch your step when you get in or get off the bus.in the bus you will get to meet your school friends and teachers so the journey to school in a school bus is a lot of fun.
what he said at school - this is a school bus.it has wheels, a door, window,and a stop sign .thank you.

do you notice the difference ?

we even sat together and made a school bus over the weekend out of a recycled box.
and for every show and tell we make something together.

And I don't stress much about it as I believe the child should be given all the freedom for them to explore,learn,create etc etc.At the same time i happen to notice that at school he just does it for the heck of it.Agreed that it might be possible that he doesn't enjoy the show&tell event in particular but its necessary for individual development.I am confused about my parenting skill . Or something wrong with my son ?

Cheers

M
Sydney

~♥Little Miss - posted on 08/24/2015

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Are you SUPPOSE to practice at home? Maybe he prefers to wing it. Perhaps ask the teachers what they expect, and if they feel he is doing well. Montessori schools do not work like other traditional schools. They want the children to be a bit more free learning, at their own pace. Not necessarily scripted. He is 4. He may just want to talk about his show and tell the way he wants to. Without pressure?

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