41 yrs old - I want another baby!! Scared!! My only 4 yr old has Autism!! Is it a mistake??

Jeanette - posted on 02/03/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am 41 years old. I had 14 years of infertility - and 7 operations to correct endometriosis & Polycystic Ovaries...Successfully became pregnant - and had my son Lee at 37.. good pregnancy and delivery. It became apparent that Lee wasn't developing very well.. He was a very wingey baby - cried alot and could only feed 5 floz every 2 hours for 3 months. Was exhausted. At 2 years I thought Lee was deaf. It became apparent he needed vents - and then diagnosed after that with Autism. At school and the age of 3 years - they also diagnosed moderate learning difficulties. Lee is a lovable child - but alot of hard work... Alot of tears... and problems. He is 4 and half now.. And now at 41 years old and feel the biological clock ticking but I really want to have another baby badly ... but I am in 2 minds because I am afraid that the 2nd child will have Autism as well - and can I cope - as I also have some back problems which I take medication for? I am worried about birth defects and disabilities...But, I really want a baby as Lee is very lonely.. but I don't know what to do.. help help help - any advice would be great and words of wisdom - to put the baby thing to bed - or go for it....!!

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Jeanette - posted on 02/03/2012

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Thank you Sinead!! And did you know that Sinead is the Irish version of Jeanette!!! Found that out - when I was looking for baby names - when I was pregnant!! Thank you so much for your lovely reply... and my heart was beating so rapidly - when I read your reply as I am so anxious about all this .. and it was really nice to hear such comforting words... Being an only child myself and hating it - which also drives me to want Lee not to be like I was... I was very sociable as a child.. but I didn't have the Autism like my Lee...Miss not having a sibling to bounce this awful situation I have put myself in..Thank you again..;-)

Sinead - posted on 02/03/2012

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I had my first baby at 35, and have just had my second in october at the age of 39. And am loving it. My oldest hasn't got autism, or anything like that, but he is very active!! And can be alot of work. However he loves his baby brother, and is very helpful and fetches and carries things to me, to help, when i am looking after the baby.

Perhaps it will help Lee to have something or someone to focus on?

My sister in-law, is 41, and has a 4 year old boy with autism, and a 2 year old who is absolutely fine.

I wouldn't put it off too long in making a choice. But make sure it is for you, as well as for Lee!

Good luck.x

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