4th degree tear

Tinker1987 - posted on 02/21/2011 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I am going on almost 3 months since having my baby boy,i suffered stage 4 tearing and was just looking for other stories on how long it took for things to get better and how you felt being intimiate again..i have had 2 doctors tell me i cant have sex yet,and a specialist who gave me the ok but warned me its going to hurt.just wondering if there is alight at the end of this tunnel!! its frusterating taking so long to heal :(

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Nichole - posted on 02/21/2011

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I had 3rd degree tearing. Not as bad as yours, but man it was awful. I was told it was ok to have sex at 2 months after birth but that it would hurt. It wasn't until 4 months after my son's birth that I could have sex and it not hurt too much. But I wasn't fully healed until about 5 months after... So I don't know how it will work with you, I can't imagine worse than mine... Good luck!

Jodi - posted on 02/21/2011

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I was given the green light for sex around 3 months post partum after my 4th degree tear. I would suggest waiting a hell of a lot longer! We tried and it hurt SO bad...and I have a pretty good pain threshold. It was around 6 months I could finally have sex without being in PAIN...and it was over a year before sex was "normal" again (that is not to say it hurt for that year, just different.

It does get better...it really just takes time. One thing that I wish I would have done sooner was perineal massage. It wasn't until 7 or 8 months post partum I started doing perineal massage, focusing on the scar and that reallly seemed to help. So I would suggest doing that when you can (with doctors green light of course) to stretch the scar tissue out so it doesn't pull and stretch painfully during sex. Do that and I'm guessing sex will be much more pleasurable a LOT sooner than it was for me!

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Nichole - posted on 02/21/2011

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Oh and by the way my son is 17 months now, and things are still not how they used to be down there & sex is different. Not bad, not painful, just different.

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