4years and 3 months old , no interest reading

Taruna - posted on 05/18/2012 ( 22 moms have responded )

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hi

i have a daughter , who is 4 years and 3 months old ,, she goes to a special needs school ....she is a late talker, now she has started talking good enough ..... she will go in pre k in cuming september ....... i taught her how to write albhabets and nos. (1 to 10 ) at home ........(in her school they are not doing it as thats a special school) .. she recognises them , and only writes when she is in real good mood to write ... she is not interested in me teaching her anything else for eg. letter sounds , concept of opposites etc ..
she dont recognises nos. beyond 10. if i want to read her a book, shes not interested

she is very keen of watching TV....... .she can see it throughout the day
do i need to worry a lot or she will be OK as time passes .... she is going to continue her prek in this special school itself......and the pace in which they work is different from regular pre K .....

i know there is time before she enters kindergarten,,,, but i am worried ,,, how will she cope up in kindergarten... because there is a JUMP asyou enter kindergarten,...... any sugestions ..please help

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Medic - posted on 05/18/2012

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As parents we are the best teachers to our children. It is sad that society has taught us that we cannot teach our kids. I homeschool and my kids are ahead and doing more than they ever did while in school.

Dove - posted on 05/18/2012

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I agree with the no pressure approach, but I do not agree with it not being my job to teach my kids. Yes, it is the teacher's job to teach, but it is mine as well.

As for the op: Make sure you are limiting her screen time to 2 hours/day. Is she in this special school for more issues than speech? How are you trying to teach her? You can turn just about everything into a learning experience, but with it being fun... Kids don't even know they are learning while it happens.

I would not be worried about her not wanting to read at 4 though. Some kids start as early as 3 and others not til 7. She has a year until Kindergarten, so don't worry about K right now. Just enjoy playing with your daughter, talk to her teacher about what they are working on, and look for fun opportunities to 'sneak' learning into everything.

User - posted on 05/19/2012

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Every child learns at his or her on pace. It is very important not to try to teach reading and other skills to a child before they are ready. Earlier does not equal better. Some kids don't learn to read until they are 6 and still become great readers. I would continue reading stories to her and also try just telling her stories and singing her songs. Kids learn language skills through hearing language and if they are exposed in a fun way, it's better. Also, limiting screen time is very important. I limit my 5 year old to 30 min a day. When he was watching 2 or 3 hrs a day, he totally lost interest in doing art projects and many other activities. His attention span and his imagination increased a lot after limiting screen time. Good luck!

Kim - posted on 05/19/2012

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Hi. You are your daughter's first and best teacher. Good for you for teaching her how to count and recognize her letters. At this age children are a sponge. Learning can be fun and incorporated into everything you do. Given your daughter's inital language delay, there are a few things I would recommend.

Similar, to what someone else said, limit your daughter's tv time and when she does watch tv, try to watch with her and talk to her about it. My 3 year old loves nick jr. and we are able to talk about the adventures that dora and diego go on. This will help to continue to increase her langauags skills. Also, talk to her about her day. While you are driving, you can play eye spy and name things that you all see as you are driving.

Get a library card and take your daughter to the library. Give her the opportunity to go in and pick books that she in interested in. You can also help her check out books about tv characters that she is interested in.

At night, before she goes to bed try to build reading to her into your routine. She will be tired (you probably will be too, so some times you'll have to press through), so she will probably put up less of a fight. Though you may feel silly, try to give different voices to the characters in the story.

[deleted account]

Dove said, "I agree with the no pressure approach, but I do not agree with it not being my job to teach my kids. Yes, it is the teacher's job to teach, but it is mine as well."

Yes Dove, I agree to an extent that as a parent you can help to teach. But often we parents end up making a real hash of it when trying to teach our kids as we don't have the skills to teach academics. The teachers (who are professionally trained to teach out kids) will provide us parents with the tasks that we need to use at home with the children to help and support their lesson plans. But if we take it upon ourselves to teach what we think the kids should know then we run the risk of hindering the progress by confusing our kids. My son's pre-school teachers have given us the run-down of what and how our kids are being taught at this level. She has told us how we can help at home, what to encourage and what to discourage. She's not expecting us to be the teachers as such.

Perhaps the OP could have a word with her child's teacher and get some ideas on how to achieve her goals for her child.

22 Comments

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Danielle - posted on 05/21/2012

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My son loved Sesame Street. That is one of the best shows to watch. They have a letter of the day, number of the day, and they show words to the kids. I would never say no when he wanted to watch that.

Joy - posted on 05/20/2012

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Something interesting and perhaps encouraging to those who have late talkers is that Einstein was also a late talker. He learned differently than the other children did too and became well known for being the 'absent minded professor' type.

The suggestion of getting a library card is a good one. Also, read to her as much as possible. Make reading a fun activity. Also, let her see you read a book or a magazine sometimes too. What Mommy (or Daddy) does is fascinating to young children. I also agree with limiting screen time. Perhaps also make sure that the programs she watches are semi-educational ones. ie. my daughter's not allowed to watch Spongebob, but she watches Dora, Curious George and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse a lot.

User - posted on 05/20/2012

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Kids will learn in their own pace. Besides, there's just too much they're sort of pressured to know at the same time. I realy don't worry about my kids 4+3m they're equally slow to writing and learning d letter sounds. But they're starting JK in d fall and will sure learn it with other kids in time.

Abby - posted on 05/20/2012

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If you child is in a special needs preschool - you should have access to an Education Plan that is currently being worked on by staff members in the program. In Canada this is called an IFSP. You should speak to the Case Manager about the goals your child is working on in Preschool and be able to voice your wishes and concerns for your child. It would be worthwhile - to have some idea re: your child's developmental levels. There is a great book about Literacy and Preschoolers with the Hanen Program. Check out the Hanen Web site - there are additional resources as well for stimulating Language Development. If your child is not attending to shared book readings - look at books which are for younger children - and always have a Nighttime Routine for stories. Remember to structure your days with predictability for your child.The Resource - 123 MAgic is a great book and can help with parenting issues. Sometimes - we need to work on using pro-active strategies to get children to develop more compliance when it comes to daily routines and expectations that parents have for their children. The 123 magic Resource will help you with this. All the BEST!

L. - posted on 05/20/2012

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She's is already ahead of the game ! she knows her numbers , letters and how to write them..that's remarkable! Great job mama!
Read books before nap and bedtime...kids just want to play most of the time. She'll do fine in kindergarten. You worry and that will stress out your child.
Havea great summer and keep us posted :)

Maryann - posted on 05/20/2012

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As someone who travels internationally speaking on the brain research behind this topic, I found it refreshing to read the comments. Children will read when their brains are ready. Usually, that falls between the ages of 4 - 6. Children with special needs may be a little longer. Many of the suggestions below are wonderful and right on. Take your child to the library. Let them see you reading. Play games. DON'T waste your money on the programs out there, They are not necessary and that money could get spent on special activities like visiting the zoo or going other places that help to stimulate a desire to learn to read. I post daily brain fact posts at this site. You may want to visit. Bottom line? Follow your child's lead and set a good example by reading and showing a genuine love and respect for the ability. https://www.facebook.com/pages/Music-with-Mar-Inc/368343536517487

Cate - posted on 05/20/2012

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Taruna, my son is the same age as your daughter and he is in the exact same boat. We have been to test after test after test. Seen specialist after spectialist after specialist and on monday we see another specialist. May I ask what your daughter has, because Im starting to get really frusterated at every dr I see as they keep asking me the same questions over and over and My husband and I are not getting anywhere. 1) What does your daughter have? 2) How do you deal with it?

Leeanne - posted on 05/19/2012

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She will learn when she is ready. She is only 4. In many countries kids don't even start school until they are about 7. I think your expectations are too high. There is no need for a mainstream child to learn to read and write before they start school, why would a special needs child be any different?

Vickie - posted on 05/19/2012

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My son was similar to this,except he didn't go to pre k. I didn't push teaching him reading because he would have resisted, instead I just incorporated teaching into his day. He had educational toys like the Leap Frog fridge magnets, oh and the Leap Frog Letter Factory and Talking Words Factory DVD's. I didn't even encourage him to play with them or watch them, I just asked and provided them. He doesn't like to sit still to be read to so I read to him while he is playing in the bathtub and he loves it. I have to make sure they are books with themes or characters in them that he really likes like puppies, humor, etc. When he started kindergarten he didn't know the alphabet, but he did know what sounds most of the letters make. He is in 2nd grade now and on grade level. He is never going to be a super reader, he doesn't enjoy it, but he is a functional reader.

As far as teaching other things like opposites I would just talk all the time, pointing things out as we were shopping or playing at the park. I just took cues from what he was interested in and worked with that.

Pamela - posted on 05/19/2012

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Have you investigated the children's learning programs that are on DVDs or CDs that can be played on your TV. There are many of them out there these days. All kinds of programs that teach phonics, etc. with cartoon characters and the like!

Go to a search engine and look for pre-school programs for special needs children. I use www.ask.com. I would pose the question this way: Where can I find video/DVD programs for my special needs child? See what you find. There should be plenty!

Do not persist when she is resistant. You could set up an emotional reaction pattern that will be difficult to break. Remember she is only 4 years old and has all of her life in front of her. Don't push! It will do more harm than good!

Pat - posted on 05/19/2012

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Every day on tv, newspapers etc we hear how important it is for children to start school prepared. There are things like knowing the alphabet & counting that they need to know. Teachers number one complaint js that the parents arent involved. It sounds like you have done a good job so far. It is a joint effort of everyone involved. There are high demands on children entering kindergarten and for the parents who consider it the teachers/schools job...well, you are doing a disservice to your child, because yhey will start out well behind the other children. My daughter had no interest in listening to me read to her. She did learn the basics, as you have done, but just was not interested in books or reading. When she was eleven she had to have hip surgery. Her aunt sent her the erogon book. It was huge. But i guess out if bordom, she started reading it. She was facinated and she has been reading everything she can get her hands on since. I think just the exposure to books is good. One day she will find her interest and it will take off. Go to the library. If she likes puppies get puppy books. Find books with her favorite tv characters. Its the exposure that is important.

Jenn - posted on 05/19/2012

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Four is still pretty young to learn to actually read. Getting them familiar with letters, writing and site words is the beginning. Phonics helps a lot of kids, like my youngest. She knows Her letters but until I introduced phonics to her, words didn't make sense to her. My oldest just was NOT interested in reading, then began kindergarten and by the end of that year she was reading on a 2nd grade level! Look into the reading program your school uses. If phonics aren't a big part of it, then look into SAXON reading, which homeschoolers often use and my daughters school uses.

User - posted on 05/19/2012

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Is the only reason she is in a special school because she is a late talker? Do you feel she will benefit more by putting her in a regular pre k class where they might do more with her? You're taking on a good approach by doing her numbers and alphabet with her but if she's not doing it routinely ie. the special school maybe that's the problem. She's four but this is the age and stage where teaching and learning is important. I would consider taking her out of the special school and putting her in a regular school where they will give her that interest in her to learn and to match what you do at home at school. Good luck, I'm a mom of a six year old and I want the best for him education wise as well, it feels good to see other parents want the same.

[deleted account]

Lucky you Medic. I haven't the knowledge nor the patience to even help my child with her homework. That's why I send my child to school. I never said we couldn't help our kids, all I meant was not to try and teach a kid to read when she isn't ready to learn. She's only 4 and she will be going to school. My friend is a teacher and she doesn't interfere with her child's teacher by trying to do the teaching at home.
But I am wasting my time and will just leave it at that. If the OP wants to teach her child to read then she needs to ask her child's school teacher for help.

[deleted account]

Relax. She's only 4. Not all kids like books until they are older. My daughter has only just really started to enjoy books and she is 9. And as for trying to teach her the alphabet and sounding letters, etc. you are not her teacher... it's the teacher's job to teach and the parent's job to support. The teachers will let you know if you need to to be doing anything special with her at home. So for now, take the pressure off her and yourself. The learning will happen when she is ready for it.

Medic - posted on 05/18/2012

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She is only 4! Let her be a kid. The point of kinder is to teach her all of these things. Todays world of pushing kids to learn things before they are ready baffles me.

Amy - posted on 05/18/2012

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The first few weeks of my sons kindergarten class they worked on writing letters and learning the sounds each letter made. After that they started on "star" words, they were little flash cards sent home to practice each week with a book they had read all week long in school. Before kindergarten my son didn't read by himself although he would sit and listen to stories.

I would just try and keep it fun and interesting for her. Have you asked her current school for suggestions? You could also call the school she's going to be enrolled in and see what they are required to know upon entering.

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