4yo is EXTREMELY defiant and I can't take it anymore!

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

So my daughter is wonderful, don't get me wrong. But, it literally seemed like ever since she turned 3, she's made her life mission to make my life hell. She can be very sweet sometimes, but most of the time she's like a tasmanian devil. First of all she throws tantrums like she's 2 (which is weird because she actually didn't throw many tantrums when she was 2). If I ask her to do something she will look me in the eye and do the opposite, then laugh about it. She also cannot sit still to save her life and it's starting to upset her teachers. If you try to make eye contact and talk to her she is literally squirming, bouncing up and down, twist her head all whichaway, etc. Also she is very talkative! I usually love talkative people, especially since I'm more a listener myself, but she talks for no reason. I know sometimes kids like the hear the sound of their own voice and that's fine at times. However she will interrupt you and when you ask her to politely wait she will keep asking you or have a tantrum. When she asks me something and I tell her to hold a second, she'll repeatedly ask me, even though I tell her that I heard what she said. The scariest part is she'll talk to complete strangers and invite them over our house (let alone it's usually because they have a child with them) , even after I repeatedly tell her not to talk to stranger and to NEVER invite anyone over house without asking me first. I recently discovered positive parenting and I'm trying to implement that into our daily lives, but nothing seems to work. I spanked her 2 or 3 times in the past year but decided I wanted our house to a no spanking home. I've also tried taking away things and it never changes her behavior. IDK what else to do!!! I want to develop a great relationship, but I don't even know where to begin, especially when I'm always tired and upset because of her behavior.
Also I don't know if it matters, but I am a single mom and we live with my parents.

4 Comments

View replies by

Jodi - posted on 04/20/2014

3,562

36

3907

That's why she does it. Because you need her to cooperate. Take her to school in her PJs (take some clothes for her in a bag). Let her scream and yell in bed at bedtime. Ignore her. You are giving the wrong attention.

[deleted account]

I want to ignore them so bad! Sometimes I do, but sometimes it's when I NEED her to cooperate. If we're trying to get out the door for school and she refuses to help put on her own clothes or if it's bedtime and she refuses to lay down. :( I figured a lot of it was normal and that she was trying to get my attention. I've been trying to give her more attention, but when I can't, she acts out.

Jodi - posted on 04/18/2014

3,562

36

3907

She sounds like a perfectly normal little girl. You need to learn to ignore the tantrums (she will eventually learn that they get her no-where). I used to have time out for my daughter to calm down (just in her room), and only when she calmed down did I discuss her issue with her. Nothing was ever addressed, and she was ignored, as long as there was a tantrum taking place.

Drago - posted on 04/18/2014

5

0

2

My son was like that too and all I did was taught him that if he did that he would grow up like that and get arrested if he hurt someone in public

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms