Katie - posted on 01/04/2011 ( 14 moms have responded )
My daughter turned 4 in September, and is brilliant, bright, willful and loving... and resistant to pooping on the potty. I wouldn't mind this except she's also 42&1/2 inches tall and weighs at least 60 lbs. She's WAY too big for even the biggest pullups, but she's still insisting that she must have one for pooping. I've talked to her about why this is, and it plainly boils down to that she just doesn't want to change her habit with this. She wants to watch her shows, and also seems to have it fixed that pee goes in the potty, but poop is just different for no particular "reason." I've explained otherwise again and again, and she listens and understands...and then when it's time for her to move her bowels, none of what she "understands" matters one little bit. I've tried just telling her we don't have any pullups left, and she just withholds till I come around, which tends to be rather quickly since she tends to constipation as it is; it'd be no time at all till she'd be obstructed. I've considered the Miralax route, but it so quickly turns the tide from constipation to diarrhea with her that I fear I'd make her too sick to be worthwhile. And I don't believe in letting children poop in their underwear till they choose the alternative; I've seen too many firsthand examples of how that utterly fails, accomplishing nothing more than teaching the child that it's ok to poop in their clothes.
I'd roll with it forever, because I know if I can just give her the space and the gentle encouragement she needs, (to counteract the memories of my lost patience over the last 2 years with her unwillingness to even try, though she's been peeing in the potty without even a wet bed at night for over a year and a half,) she'd get there on her own.
But it's getting down to where I can't roll with her choosing to control this the way she is for very much longer at all, and here's why: she's making the pullups work, luckily they have enough stretch that they aren't just letting go at the velcro sides...yet, lol....but they are WAY too tight, to the point that the solids that she's passing into them are getting ...well...frankly, that poop is getting squished into her vaginal area, such that I have to bathe her every time she uses the pullup, because it would hurt her too much for me to try to use wipes to clean her properly. . . and I'm starting to fear that she's going to start getting vaginal infections.
Does anyone know if this is a legitimate concern, or do girls have some protection from that built in somehow?
I wouldn't mind suggestions on how to change her mind about pooping on the potty as well, but I doubt at this point there's anything I haven't tried on that score.