5 months pregnate and fiance wants to get married but doesnt show he

Day - posted on 12/22/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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Im 5 months pregnate and no friends. Fiance wants to marry before baby born so his names on birth certificate. He says he loves me but Im invisible when we are togeather unless he needs something. My gut tells me hes cheating cause he never touches me now and if I try to touch him he gets mad and complains saying hes tired or his thing doesn't work anymore?

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Sarah - posted on 12/22/2015

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If you suspect he is cheating, then don't get married. The ceremony will not make him faithful nor will a baby. If you want to give the baby his last name then do it, if you don't (because you decide not to marry him or whatever) then give the baby your last name but still document him as the father on the BC.

Raye - posted on 12/22/2015

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Ok, I just caught up on the "new information". GET THE HELL OUT!
If he hurts you or the child... FILE CHARGES! Get evidence!
Put his name on the BC. He is the father.
Give the child your last name.
Compile any evidence... police reports, whatever "contract" he's under and proof if he's not following it, texts that include threats, etc. for submission to the court.
Tell the truth!
Get custody/visitation and child support straightened out with the courts.
Abide by the court orders until you have more evidence to get them changed.

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2015

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Do you believe he will molest his own offspring? Was he convicted of the charge of sodomizing a cat? If he has a conviction of that nature in his record and is on probation for assaulting you, then I'd think you'd have ground for at the very least supervised visitation. What do you mean about the DA charging you with perjury? Did you file a complaint and then recant? Victims of abuse do that all of the time, that is exactly why the statue to prosecute was changed.
Since he is "under contract" (I presume that is probation) then there are police reports or some sort of evidence of his assault upon you. If he is not following the terms of the agreement he made with the DA, call the police and have him arrested. No one is telling you or will tell you that you must stand idly by and allow your daughter to be harmed.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 12/22/2015

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His name can be on the birth certificate without you being married. Don't marry this man if it is "for the child". Marry this man because he makes you happy, you love him, he loves you, and you want to start a family together.

Please make sure he is on the birth certificate. It will be less complicated in the future. If he is the father, he SHOULD be on the birth certificate. If he is NOT the father, the bio father should be on it.

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Kayla - posted on 12/22/2015

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Raye is right! Where are you girl? You said you don't have any friends.. But what about your family? You need a safe place to go where he can't hurt you! Don't stay with him if he's hurting you. If he hurts you God knows what he will do with a poor crying baby that you can't soothe at times.

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2015

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Everyone needs to read the info Day added to a different thread:
"OK since the replys Im receiving are not of much value here is more detail. Im trying to protect her ( the baby). Hes violent and because Im dumb I helped his lawyer get the cases dropped. On top of the physical abusive part I found out by the D.A> that he was charged with a felony of raping a cat.. yes CAT! Iv written the court but Texas are idiots and will give him rights to her and Im asking either for them to be taken away or very supervised visits. But seeing how his daddy has millions and I make a mere 50,000 a year Im not able to fight. Im stuck"

Kayla - posted on 12/22/2015

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Some men don't like to touch you when your pregnant. My husband was like that. They have a fear of harming the baby. Talk to him see what he has to say. Explain to him how you are feeling. If you are not 100% positive you want to marry him don't. Don't marry him just because it's "the right thing to do." Do it because you're in love and want to be with him and he makes you feel like a queen! 😉

Raye - posted on 12/22/2015

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The other ladies have given good advice. The father should be listed on the BC, but you don't have to give the baby his last name if you don't want to. DO NOT get married if he's not a true partner, friend, lover to you. He won't change unless he wants to, and it doesn't seem like he wants to. If "his thing doesn't work anymore", has he gone to the doctor? Or is it that he is not attracted to you in your pregnant state? I went for nearly 5 years with no sex with my EX husband. He didn't feel good, or he wanted to lose weight, or he was tired, or it was too hot, or whatever fucking excuse he wanted to give. It's not worth staying through that. It eats you up until you feel like the problem is you, but it's not... it's him. You can try counseling, if he's willing to try to work it out with you, but my advice is to get out and find someone that wants to be a partner to you in every way.

Day - posted on 12/22/2015

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Well the D.A. didn't want to charge me with felony for purgery so they made a 2 year contract with him.He doesn't follow it though still hits me and since Im so brain washed by him and his dad I just leave cause know they will get outta it anyways. Im contacting legal aid and going to file petition with the records of the abuse toward me and the felony rape of the CAT. If they still give him visitation then I guess my reality will be standing by watching her be molested and beaten

Sarah - posted on 12/22/2015

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Day; I found this post from you on another thread so I am adding here to help keep the information flowing:
"OK since the replys Im receiving are not of much value here is more detail. Im trying to protect her ( the baby). Hes violent and because Im dumb I helped his lawyer get the cases dropped. On top of the physical abusive part I found out by the D.A> that he was charged with a felony of raping a cat.. yes CAT! Iv written the court but Texas are idiots and will give him rights to her and Im asking either for them to be taken away or very supervised visits. But seeing how his daddy has millions and I make a mere 50,000 a year Im not able to fight. Im stuck"

This is quite different from your first post.
In the US, domestic violence charges cannot be dropped at the request of the victim. Too many victims were bullied into refusing to testify or dropping charges and then ending up dead. The assault of a pregnant woman is automatically a felony. I am unsure how you were able to get domestic violence charges dropped. However, if the current status is he has no pending charges and no previous convictions, he will be entitle to some form of custody. It isn't that the authorities in Texas are idiots, it's that they have no reason to prevent him from seeing his child. Criminal court is completely separate from family court.
So, don't marry the man, give the baby your name, file for child support and temporary custody at birth.
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