5 year old still having accidents. Tried everything? I am lost.

Laurie - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My son stayed home with his father until he was 3 1/2 and his father moved out. He would not take the diapers off of him so when I would put underwear on when I was home he did not understand. After he moved out the diapers came off immediately.



He does good at home but now is having accidents at school almost everyday. I think he is getting too busy to stop what he is doing. I have set up sticker reaward system to encourage no acccidents but it is not working.



It seems he likes the attention he is getting at school but it is negative attention. I just do not know what to do. I don't want him to be picked on by other kids.



I have talked to his doctor and I just get the boys take longer speach. I just do not understand.



Any suggestions.

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Michelle - posted on 10/01/2009

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oh Im so lost too! My boys are 5 years old and one was not having accidents for the longest time, started again! I've tried to encourage them to make sure they get changed! Because often they have done it at daycare, or when things are going on around home and we do not notice right away. Accidents do happen, fine, I've accepted that, but how can they not want to get changed!! One day this will be all over with and a long ago memory, but it sucks while its happening!

Lilly - posted on 04/14/2013

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i had the same problem at school with my daughter i had to speak with the teacher and work hand in hand with even the childminder and arrange a schedule that she would be reminded to go to toilet every two hours and after three months no accidents

Tracy - posted on 10/01/2009

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Have you tried maybe having him wear a pull up at school. Not that you want to go that root or see if someone can maybe remind him it is time to go and make more frequent bathroom stops sometimes it take a while before there bladder is fully developed. If this is his first year of school it is not unlikely for a child to regress alittle. I wish you luck I have a five year old too and it seemed to take forever to get him potty trained.

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Cedar - posted on 10/07/2009

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just talk lovingly to your child. love is all you can do. dont get frustrated. ask the teachers to take him to the bathroom (quietly of course) and make him pee. you are dead right that many kids just forget. Life is so exciting why bother with pee. Thats how they see it. Dont worry it will work itself out. But help is always great

Tana - posted on 10/06/2009

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Hey dont feel bad I homeschooled my son and he had accidents off and on til he was 6 or 7 and well I use to get so frustrated but He seemed like it was no big deal so when I relaxed , he did too and eventually it was over with.

Laurie - posted on 10/06/2009

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I want everyone to know how much I appreciate all of the encouraging words. Cross your fingers he has not had any accidents in 3 days. I did get a sticker reward system into place and for every sticker he gets a quarter. This seems to be helping some. We do make a huge deal when he has no accidents and gets green (good) at school.



Again, thank everyone for all of your helpful advice.

Candice - posted on 10/01/2009

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Just know it is completely ok that he isn't toilet trained yet...I have learned that they will go to the next level either when they're ready - one day it just happens and from then on gets better with experience or with added assistance he'll get there!

It would be great if you could set up a system with the teachers at the school to help toilet train him since its not like hes going to skip school just to learn how to recognise when he needs to use the toilet. They just need to ask him every half hour or less if he needs to use the toilet and continue to do it at home.
He'll need lots of encouragement too. Sometimes children that have these kinds of problems whether it is wetting the bed or confusion with toilet training is attached to some kind of anxiety issue. There's nothing that you can do about it other than continue with toilet training him tentatively.
I would recommend using pull ups to save him the embarrassment and to keep his confidence levels up. Get the teachers to help out while he isn't in your care. Keep up with it at home and plenty of encouragement goes a long way! Try not to put a negative spin on his accidents, make him feel like he can do it!

Please let us know how you go. All the best!

Tracy - posted on 10/01/2009

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I would also maybe get another point of view from another doctor and see what they say.

Julia - posted on 10/01/2009

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My husband John is a primary teacher so I asked him for advice on this one. He said you coluld try talking to your sons teacher. Ask him/her to insist that he goes to the toilet at regular intervals. The teacher needs to tell him he must go, not ask him if he wants to go. You could try buying her a cooking timer to help her remember. Teachers get very busy and it's hard for them to keep track of everyone but most teachers would rather the hastle of toilet training a child than changing clothes everyday. Kids are very busy at school and they always leave going to the toilet 'till the last possible minute, then it's to late. All the best.

[deleted account]

with some kid stress will work into tthere lifes and the one thing kids have full controll over is when and were they go potty at 5yr most kids can talk thing out have you try to ask him what were why? when thing are good a quite maybe over an Icecream.. Does he stay dry all night??

A couple thing I would check into-- try to have alger test do some times there could be something in his diet my 2nd son didn't potty train till he was 31/2yr and Just one day said if you don't try to make it to the potty you need to put a diaper on and that meet nap or bed time to him because that was the only time he wore diapers it was that he was in trouble it was he must be tired if he can't try to make it to the bathroom. Good luck

[deleted account]

Does his teachers ask him often if he needs to go? That would help. My niece is 10 years and she still has accidents, because she does not want to take the time to go when she is playing. And maybe if you tell him that you will not send extra clothes for him to change into, he might think about not wanting to have wet clothes on all day at school. You never know. Rose

Skye - posted on 10/01/2009

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just keep encouraging him he will get it eventually stick with it every child goes through stages

Katherine - posted on 10/01/2009

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My 4 year old does the same thing!!!! Too busy:has an accident. Try not to make a big deal about it. The best thing I ever did was behavior modification. Get a chart, get some stickers, make some simple rules. Ok today lets try not to have one accident, in 2 days, say today lets try not to have 2 accidents and so on. Give him stickers as rewards when he meets these goals. The key in the beginning is to make it impossible for him to fail, that way he gains confidence. Has the doctor ruled out a medical issue?

Rebecca - posted on 10/01/2009

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I hate to say it but you might have to use pull ups till he stops. Maybe being in diapers in school will show him that its not a good thing to have accidents that he needs to use the potty i hope this helps.

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