6 months pregnant / baby dad issues need advice please!!

Aliyah - posted on 02/06/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




I'll try and keep this as short as poss.

Right, I'm 19, 30 weeks pregnant and in the UK.

Was with baby's dad for 15 months before falling pregnant and the relationship was turbulent to say the least. We had broken up before we found out but then decided that we wanted to make it work for the baby. Things were ok for first few weeks but then it started deteriorating.. in arguements he would called me horrible names (bitch, hoe etc), threatening to come to my house and punch me in my face and even tried to force me into getting rid of my baby. things were never this bad before the baby and tbh i felt scared and that i wanted us to get along. because i left him he made me go to my 12 scan alone (told me 10 mins before the scan) and was just controlling and manipulative. Because of what was going on i changed my mind about giving my son his last name and the things he said to me about me and my family were just vile.
When I got to 18 weeks I realised how wrong his behaviour was and that i wanted better for my son so I completely broke it off but was still willing to have him involved (i sent oics and vids of my bump, allowed him to scan etc). But every time since he constantly makes out like he's the victim and I'm just being nasty. He's really ungrateful at the fact I was still letting him be involved when other women probably wouldn't. The last argument we had was December when I told him to pick another middle name (he chose his cousins first name to be my sons middle name when he was arrested for prostituting girls, he sells drugs and commits fraud) so I just had enough and told him to go away and I didn't want him involved anymore.
He called me after 4 weeks and acted like everything was fine and I told him that I meant what I said and blocked his numbers.

Now, I'm not afraid to be a single mum at all and I do not want him involved anymore, I don't intend on telling when the baby is born or even have him on the birth certificate. But I don't know if I'm over reacting? I feel really uncomfortable around him and unsafe and certainly wouldn't leave my son alone with him. though he expresses an apparent interest in being a dad hes more interested in getting me back and being in my business (who I'm talking to etc) than being a dad and though I'm well aware that a man can be a bad partner but a good dad i feel like if you a good dad you would not have treated me like that whilst i was carrying your child or even tried to force me to get rid of him??

What would any of you do in this situation? I scared that in april when babys due he's going to start harrassing me and he's threatened to come to my house a few times and scared that he really might (He lives a 20 min walk away, 5 min drive).

Just feeling really stressed and lost, I just dont know what to do and dont want my son to grow up hating me. Any advice would be appreciated x


Trisha - posted on 02/06/2015




I don't have much in the way of experience for any of this, but you may want to start reporting these threats to the police, and get a restraining order against him.
This might help with court cases that WILL come up regarding custody later down the line. Regardless of whether you put him on the birth certificate or not he could still request custody down the road.
Also, contact the women's shelter to see if they have any resources you could potentially access regarding legal help/counselling to deal with this.

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