6 year old might be repeating 1st grade!!

Sahira - posted on 05/18/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My 6 year old son is really ,really struggling in 1st grade, the teacher thinks she might have to leave him their one more year. Do you think it will affect him or maybe it will be a good thing for him? I'm trying to prepare him just in case the teacher decides to leave him in 1st, but he just tells me that he wants to grow up. It breaks my heart!! Any suggestions?

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Annika - posted on 05/19/2009

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My son struggled in first grade and they pushed him on, with the idea that holding him back might embarass him and do more harm than good. Then he struggled in second grade, and again they pushed him on. In third grade we did every program we could think of to help him catch up, but to no avail. He finally got held back in third grade. It didn't ruin his life or even make the next school year hard. He thought it would be embarassing, but he was honest and told his new classmates that he got held back and no one made a big deal about it. It helped SO much! He is more confident. He is in 5th grade now and doing fine. Sometimes they need to have a year to catch up, maybe they just aren't at the maturity level to move on yet. But remember the most important thing, NO ONE failed! (even you) He just needs a little extra time.

Krista - posted on 05/18/2009

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I teach grade one, and in my area, students are rarely held back, even when they struggle to meet the standards for their grade. Research shows that children who are held back tend to struggle throughout their school career anyway, rather than catching up. It's hard on a child's self esteem to be held back and have to repeat a grade with younger kids, while their friends move on. At our school, students who struggle move on with their age group, but are given extra supports from teacher assistants and individualized programming that meets their needs. I don't know what kind of supports your child would receive at his school, but often there's more harm than good done when children repeat.

Lisamarie81m - posted on 05/29/2009

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I was held back in first grade, I missed my friends but made new ones and kept the old until they left for middle school, I dont think being held back affected me in a bad way, I never really struggled in school, I think they held me back cuz I cried a lot I dont know I dont remeber and after a while I am sure your son will do just fine, just my two cents since was in the same situation.

[deleted account]

Is it the academic stuff or the social stuff? Reading or math, or just not quite ready in general? If its academics you can work on it over the summer if its social he just might not be ready. Its really better to master the basics than spend the rest of your school years trying to catch up.

I should have been held back in 3rd grade because I missed so much school being sick, and I never caught up in math because I missed the basics.

Sit down with his teachers and get a list of things to work on over the summer, kids love to play school anyway, and sometimes they just need individual help that the school cannot provide.

Denise - posted on 05/19/2009

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My son is going to br 13 in June I didn't send him to Kindergarden i waited till he was 6. Some boys aren't quit ready for school and learn at a slower rate. My friend is a teacher and she is the on who actually told me not to send him and it was the best thing we did. Just be strong if the teacher is saying it would be in his best intreste to stay back then you really should think about it. He might say he wants to grow up but if he is going to struggle thats what might hurt him more down the road. Let him know that he will be making more new friends and he will have his old frieds too. Just be strong in what ever decision you make. When they are young its easier in the long run to stay back then when he is older.

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Jessica - posted on 04/04/2013

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What happened with your son. I am going through the same thing with my son and the teacher said if she holds him back he would be at the normal age of 1st graders bc his birthday is in june and he is younger but I researched it and found out that he would be behind in his age with school. Did the teacher end up holding back your son? The teacher last year when he was in Kindergarten said the same thing but he improved so much in a month that she moved him forward but I dont want to have to do that every year.

User - posted on 05/29/2009

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Glad to hear that the teacher did some testing. Since he did do ok on that, is she worried about his maturity? Also, the school can not force him to stay back, you have to approve it. I am going thru this now with my son, but he is only in Kindergarten! Your sons teacher should have notified your school's special education teachers and you about his difficulties before this point. You should have a meeting with everyone to see what can be done to help him while he is in 1st grade. I would suggest a summer school or tutoring to keep the skills he already has. I did some research on holding back and it doesnt have the best results for most kids.

Barbara - posted on 05/29/2009

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if your son learns more by touch see if your school doesn't have PROJECT READ. this really helped my son & daughter with reading because their sense of touch was stronger this program is for that.

Barbara - posted on 05/29/2009

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Yes it's hard to keep them back & heartbreaking. But you are giving him the gift of time. My son & daughter were both held back. My daughter actually 2 times because of her health issues interferring in her learning.Now My son graduated from High school last year and is on the honor roll in college. My daughter will be a senior next year. Both came through such a long tough road but it's worth it. If they are finally getting it.

Sandra - posted on 05/29/2009

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Quoting Sandra:



Quoting Krista:

I teach grade one, and in my area, students are rarely held back, even when they struggle to meet the standards for their grade. Research shows that children who are held back tend to struggle throughout their school career anyway, rather than catching up. It's hard on a child's self esteem to be held back and have to repeat a grade with younger kids, while their friends move on. At our school, students who struggle move on with their age group, but are given extra supports from teacher assistants and individualized programming that meets their needs. I don't know what kind of supports your child would receive at his school, but often there's more harm than good done when children repeat.





I totally agree with Krista.






Our school doesn't hold back children either. One little girl had a tutor all summer long and her marks are where they should be now.






Sahira






Ask the teachers at the school if any of them do tutoring over the summer. You would be amazed at how much he would learn over the summer. Your son would still have fun over the summer just with a little stuctured time in it.






 If it is your sons reading that needs help I have a really good site for the dolch word list for each grade when I find it I will post it.  All we did for my son is placed all the words on recipe cards with a word on each side of each card. I found a flash card system really worked for my son.






For math there are some really good flash cards out there also.






I hope this help. I would ask the teacher and the school not to hold him back.






There is the site for dolch word list.If you can't open it. I can seen it to you by email.



http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/articl...

 






 





 

Sahira - posted on 05/29/2009

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Hello, I appreciate everyone that commented on my situation with my son, Thank you very much. Well, the teacher gave him some tests and he passed them. She told me to try to get him in a summer program to reinforce him and get him ready for 2nd grade. Thats what I'm doing now, is checking out some programs to get him started. His teacher said that he already knows the basics but needs a little more help in reading. Thanks everyone!!

Rebecca - posted on 05/18/2009

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I have a son who is considered young for Kindergarten. Luckily his teacher told me she would probably withhold him in October. He made it very clear he wanted to go to First Grade so I sat him down and explained that there were things he had to be able to do so he could enjoy 1st grade. He has worked hard and is now meeting standards. It wasn't easy but I hope he appreciates it.



Given that you are only finding out now, holding him back in 1st grade might be the best option. One of our local schools is having a couple of combined classes eg K and 1st. If you think he could catch up over the summer it might be worth asking if they have a 1st/2nd class where he could remain in 1st grade but still be with older kids.



Good luck.

[deleted account]

It is probably better in the long run to repeat now if your son is struggling while he is young, than to wait and have potential future problems. And it tends to be the older they get more factors become involved such as attitude from other students. It might seem like a difficult choice now but it will pay off later. Its also hard for them at such a young age to look at the bigger picture. Hope it all works out for you.

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