Liz - posted on 08/27/2016 ( 6 moms have responded )
Hi, I'm new here. I don't have much of a support system and this is one of the few outlets I can think of.
My 7 year old daughter has been showing signs of anxiety lately and has been somewhat lashing out at me. She gets overwhelmed easily and will hyperventilate until I calm her down. Her thoughts seem to race and she has told me on several occasions, "I don't love you, no I do love you." She gets angry at herself after she does this. One minute she's defiant and angry with me. The next she is very clingy and sometimes won't let me go to the bathroom by myself. Her dad and I split when she was a baby and I've tried to talk to him and I've gotten nowhere and his response is that she's fine at my house and its my issue. I never get angry with her for behavior and try to provide reassurance and try to validate her feelings. I try to help her express what she's feeling while trying to find out what exactly is going on. I try to redirect her but I unfortunately am not successful all the time.
A little background- she has been through several major changes over the last year. Last Fall, her father, who had previously elected not to spend as much time as the court had granted him, decided he was going to take more time with our daughter. He did this without discussion but just on the basis that he had a court order stating he could. In the course of a year, my daughter has gained a new sister, stepmom, been moved 3x by him, been to 2 schools, experienced the death of a family member and a family pet. She at one point was with me 90% of the time and now it's a little bit more than 50%. There were lawyers involved and unfortunately, there is still stuff to be settled.
I'm not trying to bash her father but felt that all the changes she's been through was pertinent to what the current situation is. I guess my questions would be does anyone have any thoughts as to why she lashes out here with me and only me and does anyone have any suggestions to help my daughter? Any advice is appreciated.