8 weeks pregnant and partner leaves me

Alice - posted on 03/13/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi girls. My story is i was with my bf on and off for 2 and a half years. In the last few months we where very happy and decided to get pregnant. It took one go and as was pregnant i was very happy as was he. I was on medication for depression and stop immediately. I got very depressed and low 2 weeks later he stuck around for a further 2 weeks and then left as he said he couldnt cope. We've meet about 3 times since ( im now 19 weeks) and he has told me he still loves me but it will never work and he is done with the relationship. Im am so hurt and confused. Im trying my best to stay strong but it is the hardest thing. I get little to no support from him or his family. Im also angry bcus i have 2 children from a previous marriage and he and them grew very close and bonded. I feel he has walked out on them also. Plus i dont know what to tell my 8 and 10 year old. So i say nothing. Im breaking my heart and still living in hope but wish i didnt bcus i know im only going to get more heartbroken. I worry and constantly think about what will happen when the baby comes and i cant stop thinking about him and hope that he will walk through my door and apologise and everything will be ok. But deep down i know it wont. I feel blessed i have a baby growing inside me and tbh its helping me to look to the furture, but its also a scary furture. I wish i could except that he has left me and doesnt want to be with me. As he is not a man if he can do this to me. Help me to except and move on and stop the constant thinking. Never thought my life would turn out like this.
If anyone else reading this and has had the same thing happen to them can you please tell me how u managed to get through this ( well done if u have!) I keep telling myself one day at a time, but every day seems so long and lonely. My family keep telling me how proud they are of me but when my door is closed all i do is cry and think.
Thanks for reading

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Sarah - posted on 03/13/2016

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Well I have not been in your shoes exactly...If you planned this pregnancy, why didn't you address your medication needs before you conceived, or ask your doctor if your medication was safe for baby or switch you to one that was safe. For your own health and well being. If he truly doesn't want to parent, then you have to choose whether you want to parent alone or not. Absolutely name him on the BC, and file for child support, immediate sole custody and see if he'd like to have visitation. Tell you kids the truth, not all relationships work out. That is really all they need to know.

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Alice - posted on 03/14/2016

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We had literally only planned it and concieved the next day. So i know i jumped into it to quick and never thought of the consiquences. The doctor told me to stop the meds asap. So i did. I told my kids the truth today, i think i was holding out incase he came around but i know thats silly and living in hope is wrong as i am setting myself up for a fall. Thanks for your reply x

Alice - posted on 03/14/2016

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The doctor adviced me to stop immediately, i wish i had not taken his advice now though. Yeah we did plan the pregnancy. We planned it a day b4 i concieved tbh. I know ur right i should have taken the red flag sign but we were very happy at that time. I guess i only have myself to blame :( thanks for ur imput

Jodi - posted on 03/13/2016

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I think the fact that you and your boyfriend had been "on and off" was a red flag for me. You don't plan to have a baby in a relationship that is clearly not stable. It sounds to me like he wasn't fully invested in the relationship in the first place, unfortunately.

It is also inadvisable to just go off medications for depression without medical advice. You can't just suddenly stop a depression/anxiety medication without it having some kind of impact on your state of mind. You should be consulting your doctor regularly to address this issue.

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