Adi - posted on 10/03/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )
My oldest of three whom is going to be turning 10 in january is... I really dont even know how to put it really besides that she is out of control. I will admit I have made some terrible mistakes with bringing her up on my own (her and her 7 yr old sisters father passed away when they were very young), but for the most part I try to do everything I canto make sure they have everything they need and pretty much all that they want. I have resently had a son, from a new relationship that I desided I was finally ready for then found out I was completely wrong about my choice of a 'man' but it has left me in quite a financial hole, so this 'out of control deal' may be just how Im am seeing it due to me being so stressed out, but really I dont know what to do about the situation with her. I want her to be happy, I wnt our whole little family to be happy ... everyday!! no fighting, yelling, craziness, nothing. Everytime I ask her to do something, most of the time I get bakc talk and she wants me to physically get her to do what it is I am asking her. like taking a shower, calming down in the store, leaving her sister alone, leaving the 3 yr old a watch during the day alone when she gets home from school, going to bed... you name it. its not like I demand her to do what I say, I ask her just regular even nicely. like ok I think its time to go take a shower now... sometime she will go with little aguement other times it a huge disaster. cussing at me, telling me to shut up, constant back talk, throwing things around, kicking at walls and doors. you name it. One might say she doing it for attention, but really she does get attention, okay so maybe not as much as she used to, but I do spend time with both my older girls individually everyday, but then again yes its not as much as our Baby gets. So perhaps its attention she wants. But the things she does is not getting any positive attention from me, so why do it? How do I punish? The only thing I can do is take things away from her, (going to fun places, ds, wii, computer, dessert) which she responds to them 'I dont care'.. there is no such things as time-outs in our house because she wont do it, it would end up being cat and mouse game, and if I would get her in her room I would have to hold the door shut and she would yell and scream, throw things, kick stuff and basically have a tantrum. I really lost at what I can do. She is a great kid with everyone else, teachers rave about her sitter had no major problems,everyone but me she listens to. ANY ADVICE?