9 yr old acts like she's the boss

Jen - posted on 01/29/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )




Help! I got a divorce a yr and a half ago that came completely out of the blue. My 9 yr old has always been a challenge but lately, seems worse. I know that part of this is my fault because after the divorce I kind of let my kids do whatever when it comes to chores and stuff. I ask for help, they say no and I just do it because I don't want the hassle or argument. Now, life in this house stinks. My 9 year olds attitude is horrific. She sasses, she yells, screams when she doesn't get her way, cries when she gets stuff taken away, etc. when I do get her to listen and I want to do something with her, she rubs it in to my 4 yr old which in turn, makes a gigantic nightmare of screaming. I don't spank and never will. Nowadays people go to jail for that. Way back when, if I spoke to my parent that way, I would've been slapped in the face or a belt taken after my behind. I've taken her phone, iPod and grounded her. She sometimes laughs and other times she just does nothing or says well I guess I'm gonna die of boredom or I guess I will just stay in this house forever. She's very sassy and I need help!


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/29/2014




You said it yourself: "I kind of let my kids do whatever when it comes to chores and stuff"

STOP THAT!!! If you don't enforce house rules, responsibilities, and consequences for not following through, then of course your kids are going to boss you around. You've already shown them that you don't care if they do or don't by not enforcing consequences to begin with.

Oh, and just to point out, people don't go to jail for spanking their children, but they do for abusing them. Technically spanking, if applied properly is not abuse, but a deterrent action. However, spanking ain't gonna do a damned thing either, because you've already allowed your child to not follow through with responsibilities. It's not HER fault, in that regard.

So, you need to sit down with your 9 year old, explain that perhaps you didn't make a good decision when you let her get away with not doing her chores, etc, but that you are changing that now. Explain what her responsibilities are. Explain your expectations, and the consequences that will result should she choose not to fulfill her responsibilities.

Then enforce the consequences, consistently. And there need to be age related consequences for the 4 yo as well.

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