A delicate situation

Mary - posted on 10/13/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all I'm Mary. A 37 year old single Mom. I have 3 children 2girls 16 and 10 . One boy 14. They have been brought up in a home were spanking is used for discipline. I'm firm , but fair with its use. The kids are mostly good, and well behaved. Mr. Strap has not come out of the closet for any of them, since before this summer.
The issue that has come up , is confusing me. I don't know whether it's something that should be felt with by punishment , or should be felt with with professional counselling.
I noticed orver the last month or so , that when I put delicate items in the laundry hamper , then go to do the laundry things are missing. Next time I do the laundry the item is there.. I thought it odd. But didn't give it alot of thought. I'm a very neat person, and arrange the clothes in my dresser draws neatly. I found my langerie draw disturbed an few times. Again thinking it odd, but not giving it alot of thought. I'm divorced so there is no husband to go into my dresser, no live in boyfriend, and I do not bring boyfriends home.
Yesterday morning, after the kids left for school, I passed my son Michael's room , the 14 year old. The door was open and he forgot to make his bed , so before I got ready for work , I went in th straighten his bed. As I tucked the sheet under the matress found a pair of my panties that were placed in the laundry ,hidden under the matress.
So it was Michael , but why , then as I thought , it's sexual. I got angry . If it was a dirty magazine I would problem laugh it off as he's growing up. But these were my dirty panties, I felt violated. My privacy was violated. What was he doing with them,he can't be cross dressing, I'm a size 5 , and he could never fit into them, if he did they would be streched and out of shape. The more I thought of the possiblies the more angry I got. Is he preverted. .
I called my ex husband , he was no help, he thought it was funny. Probley wants to know what a vagina smells like ( of course he used a vulgar word instead of vagina). I called my boyfriend who was not much help either, he said he's going through a phase, just if not it, you don't want to embarrass or humiliate him.. My mother was preemption, she said Mary beat his behind till he's scared to go near your personal things. Yes, she was right, I was going to deal with it when I got home from work.
But at work while thinking about it I realized , I have a 16 year old and 10 year old daughter , is he doing things with there panties also. I went on the internet on my phone and looked it up. Instead of getting information, I was getting porn sites, and sites where women were selling there dirty underwear. My girlfriend walked in , well girlfriend / co worker. She saw what was on my phone. She giggled what are you looking at Mary. I was embarrsed, through my blush , I told her what happened. She said Mary, take him to a sex therapist before he turns into a real pervert.
Ok the question is how to deal with it. The strap across his bare behind, or counsoling?

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/13/2016

13,216

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2014

Ah, yet another abusive parent! Go to the pro spanking community. Thrashing is assault, so, yeah...assault your kid, and don't be surprised when they let you know they have lost all respect for you...

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/13/2016

13,216

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2014

You have children who, presumably are intelligent human beings, and yet your first "go to" parenting tool is a strap? FFS, STOP ASSAULTING YOUR KIDS! Stop listening to your mother, who is stuck in the dark ages!

Your son is normal. Period. Using your underwear is not acceptable, so you stop leaving them in the public hamper. No reason why you and your kids can't have separate laundry hampers for each, and each does their own laundry. Problem solved.

Another thing: WHY, on God's green earth, are you still "tidying up" after them in their bedrooms? Close the door, and remind them that their rooms are their responsibility. Another problem solved.

Get better parenting skills. Would you put up with your boyfriend, or another adult striking you when you screw up? NO. You would press assault charges. You are assaulting your children. Stop. There are more effective methods of discipline. Learn about them. Apply them.

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smelling knickers ??? he needs a good thrashing,,,,then have all the talk you want,,,,he won;t do it again

Dove - posted on 10/13/2016

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Hitting a teenager is horrendous parenting. Hitting any of your children bare bottom w/ an object is horrendous parenting.... you want to help a sex issue, but your solution is to hit a bare butt teenager? Let that logic sink in for a second, would you? @@ Seriously lady....

Talk to him. Let him know that curiosity is normal, but invading your space and taking your items is unacceptable and needs to stop now. If hitting your kids is even a thought in your mind for any behavior issues at their ages I would recommend counseling for the whole family and perhaps parenting classes for yourself.

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