A miserable grandma

Crikeygrl89 - posted on 02/06/2016 ( 5 moms have responded )

4

0

1

I am a 44 yr old grandma who was forced to take in my two grandkids. This would be hard even with well manered kids, but these kids are horrible. I cant take it. I have half my thyroid and can barely function on my own and my 11 yr old daughter,let alone two hyper kids 4 and 5. I am going through a divorce as well. I feel like giving them to cps, but feel horrible guilt. HELP anyone going through the same nightmare??

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/06/2016

13,260

21

2015

No, honestly Cheryl, I don't see any selfishness here. I see a gal, my age, who has all of a sudden had a very large burden of care thrust upon you on top of an already very screwed up situation!

Not sure I'd be so calm about things, to be sure! I figured that you took them in because you are grandma, and you didn't feel that you could NOT do so. I also pretty much figured you're about the only family that was willing to step in. It really sucks when you're in an area with such limited resources, and unfortunately, your community probably would have had plenty to say...regardless of how little they'll lift a finger to help you.

Is there any way YOU can get some away time? maybe a counseling session or two for yourself? Honestly, lady, you're coming across as a VERY well put together individual, if one who is quite stretched to the limit right now.

I wish I could say "send 'em my way"...I've got room, and my kids are grown. However, not being sure where you are, or the kids...I'm not sure how much else I can help but a shoulder to vent on...

5 Comments

View replies by

Coni - posted on 02/08/2016

81

0

9

Of course you are unhappy. You raised your kids and did your job and now when you need help taking care of yourself, you are having to start all over due to things that aren't your fault. I would be unhappy too. You can't just hand them off though. These kids need you. I would suggest you get into counseling and try to find out some ways of handling the situation. If you still can't handle it, then see if there are any other relatives who can help. If not, foster care or adoption should always be the last option.

Crikeygrl89 - posted on 02/06/2016

4

0

1

Thank you so much for your kind words. You have been more compassionate than anybody that I know in my life about this I appreciate it. I am definitely going to look into making sure I get my own counseling in. I am just always wondering why life throws us for a loop all at once lol!

Crikeygrl89 - posted on 02/06/2016

4

0

1

I took them in because I felt like I couldn't abandon them after what has happened. I live in a very small town with almost NO resources. We are on a waiting list to get them into counseling. I am the only one on both sides of the families that even stepped.in. I felt like i would be judged from my community if I didn't do the right thing. I know they are innocent in this. I am afraid I am taking my frustrations out on them. I am very angry at my daughter, not these poor kids. Thanks for the level headed response. I am sure my selfishness is just stress beyond measure.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 02/06/2016

13,260

21

2015

Cheryl, why did you take them in if you felt you wouldn't be able to care for them?

The children are acting out in accordance with their situation. Their mother , for whatever reason, either cannot or will not take care of them, and they have no friggin clue WHY!!! They've been abandoned. Their behaviour is not going to be perfect, nor even close to it at this point, because those poor kids can't figure out what's going on and who they can depend on. At this point, they need to be in counseling. They need to be working with therapists so that they understand that their abandonment was NOT their fault, and they NEED to be in a stable environment where they will not feel the risk of being abandoned again.

It is perfectly alright if you don't feel that you can give them the quality of care that they truly need at this point. If you feel that you are not going to be able to give them quality care, then have them placed in the foster system. Make sure that their caseworker understands everything that has happened to date.

Only you can make this decision about those kids. I know it will be tough, but you'll make the correct one.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms