Brea - posted on 05/31/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )
I've been in a relationship with the same man for five years we rushed into everything and have a child and since day one never really got along and it's progressively gotten worse. I'man only child and this past year I lost both my parents and my grandparents within six-months. All four separate reasons. During that time my 16-year-old son went to live with his father who got drunk this past New Years Eve got on a quad hit a parked car and is now permenately blind, my nine-year-old son stayed with me and I have a four-year-old son that is ADHD. And I mean my life has changed I can't take him to the grocery store whenever we need to go he curses at me from minute he wakes up until the time he goes to bed he's violent it's very extreme My significant other has basically alienating me after promising my father that we would all be okay he would take care of us the best they could. He since has become violent with me, there are days where I'm doing everything I can just provide my children food and drinks and he could care less. He doesn't live with me because of our inability to get along. I never felt so alone in my life and I feel like I'm failing my children and I really don't know what to do. I have a college degree I worked for 15 years for a fortune five hundred company as a respected leader and when I had my son I will I was told and promised that I could stay home for once in my life and be a mother enjoying motherhood and he has intentionally taking all of that away from me leaving me with nowhere to turn and nowhere to go. Now I have no family left I have alienated all my friends and during our relationship and I am desperate for something positive to happen in my life for my kids. I honestly don't know what to do I am afraid of letting go because I've lost so much in such a short period of time but I'm not sure I'm holding on for the right reasons because kids are so smart And I also have a huge terrifying fear of being alone. But I find myself making excuses for him to make him look like a better person just so that he stays around i know that sounds crazy but I can't lose anything else in my life. Is there a light at the end of this tunnel? I'm not sure anymore.. All I do is sit here and wait for him to call or come visit and the only thing that he does is tell me everything that I'm doing wrong doesn't acknowledge any of the positive things I'm trying to enforce he just constantly beats me down. I don't know what to do anymore.. I would do anything in this world to be next to my mom one more time I need her so much she's my absolute hero of life and I haven't quite figured out how to live without her.