A New Mom

Jasmine - posted on 04/25/2015 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hi im a new mom and its kind of hard im 19 years old and my baby is five months, my babydaddy haven't been in my child life and everytime I call him it's always a excuse that he will call me back, or he always with his friends and he be wanting me to let him see our child but he be around a group of guys and I don't trust him with my child in the car because he be smoking with his friends and stuff so I have a right to be concerned. Everytime I say you can see our baby he always lie to me and say he coming and don't come, he always saying he have a life so he don't be wanting to sit around, I try having a relationship with him as far as co-parenting but it doesn't work he does stuff to upset me, he always calling me names like a bitch and he always saying im retarded but I be having g this guilt trip that my baby will blame me for keeping her father out her life so I don't know whether to still let him see her??? Then he were talking trash about my baby saying she caught axima from another dude or like one time he said when we were on the phone " You meaning to tell me you ignoring me to talk to a F***ing baby its like im always getting cursed out then he have another baby and he got another girl pregnant around the time we were still together then he telling me he going to Florida, then he got his girlfriend want to fight me and him just broke up but the whole time me and him were together he got a three week old and he conceived in the girl when I were five months and we were still together he don't buy nothing for my baby im doing everything on my own and I gibe him the benefit of the doubt cause I don't want my daughter blaming me but he smoking, every time I call I get cursed out when I ask him to buy my baby something or sometimes he look at the call or the text and don't respond I have to call and call to see what he gone do for my child idk what to do know cause this new to me and I thought everything were gone last long with me and my baby day but I tried co parenting its not working or he say he want to see his child but never show up and I used to have a relationship with my babydaddy sister but she stop fooling with me and when my baby were sick my babydaddy and his sister acted like they didn't care when my baby were sick a month ago so idk want to do or what's next

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Jodi - posted on 04/25/2015

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File for custody, visitation and child support. If he chooses not to visit the child, then that's on him, but you can't just tell him he can't have a relationship with the child. But that doesn't mean you have to chase around after him either. Getting the court orders will mean custody is established (without that, he could take her whenever he pleases and not return her), visitation schedule is set (if he chooses not to visit on that schedule, then tough) and he will be ordered to pay child support to you.

If you are not comfortable with him being unsupervised with the baby and you have evidence that it could be harmful to the baby, then you can request supervised visitation.

My suggestion is to talk to a lawyer.

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Jodi - posted on 04/25/2015

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If you have that visitation schedule, and you stick to your end of it, then your child can never blame you for not having her dad around.

Jasmine - posted on 04/25/2015

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Thanks this helps I just didn't want my child growing up thinking I kept him away from her when he were absent out her life if it came down to it that's why im trying so hard cause my father were absent out my life

Jodi - posted on 04/25/2015

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You seem like you are trying hard to get him to see her, but I was concerned about the comment "so I don't know whether to still let him see her??? ". This is why I suggested to you that you can't just decide that. Leave that decision up to him. Once he has scheduled visitation times, then it's totally up to him whether he decides to use that.

Jasmine - posted on 04/25/2015

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Thank you so much and I try letting him be in her life but he just refuse to

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