A serious case of playing sides.

Lisa Marie - posted on 04/26/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I think my son, who is five, is trying to play me against his father, (my ex-husband). My ex's girlfriend and he are really nasty-mean to me and my son knows that they don't like me. They live an alternative lifestyle of parties, going to jail, and the type of fun that I'm too much of a Mom to have.I don't judge them as people, we all sin differently, but I'm the usual protective Mother. I tried really hard last summer in court to protect my son from being around his dad without supervision. Anyway, my son has been put in the middle big time. His dad and the girlfriend put me down to him a lot. All I have ever down is love my boy. I got he and I away from his dad quite a few years ago when his drugs and drinking became an obvious problem and he was very physically abusive to my son and I. So I have lots of fears to say the least. His dad was out of his life for more than a year and my son and I really got our lives going in the right direction - life is good outside of sharing him with this unstable person. Which I know I have to share, I just wish it was with someone who could make better choices.
Now these people go out of their way to make me look like bad to my son. I'm not too rattled by it really, I've always done my best by my boy and I love him more than anything in the world. He and I have always been a solid little team. They're the disneyland parents and I really do think my son has fun while with them. I worry about his safety but I'm glad he has a good time and finally maybe a relationship with his dad. However, when my boy comes home, (he lives with me full time), he tells me that he had a terrible time and that his dad and the girlfriend are very mean to him. They have been on occasion. The girlfriend tells him that his clothes from home ugly, she damages them in front of him, she took away his bear that I gave him, his dad punishes him if he talks about me to them, and my son also gets into trouble with his dad if my son doesn't feel like talking to his dad's girlfriend. Oh and once on the phone they made fun of my son's speech difficulties and have made him cry. S I know that they're not always fun for him. I tell him I know he does have fun over there because he's told me so before and then he says that he hates his dad and asks me to never send him back over there again. I want to believe my son so when I've taken my concerns to his father I'm accused of being jealous of them, and then he becomes way more than disrespectful with name calling no matter how I try to redirect the conversation I usually just hang upor walk away. His girlfriend has even gotten on the phone to call me ugly, a bad mom and has told me she's better than I am (she doesn't have children). So to say the least I get no where with them. It all feels so Jerry Springer to me most of the time. I have an awesome supportive husband now who loves my son as his own and he's very helpful in how to handle things but I thought I'd ask some Mommies out there. How would you deal? I know I love my son and loving him through this is all I know to do. I sure would welcome some helpful pointers though. I wish things could be much more peaceful but despite my best efforts I'm afraid they may never improve. I stay hopeful but I also need to protect my son, but I know he's not always honest with me and his dad definitely is not honest with me. What would you do? Is my boy just pulling on my heart strings for attention or should I continue to keep my canons loaded? Thanks ladies!

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Dove - posted on 04/26/2015

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Document everything your son says and get him into counseling w/ a therapist willing to testify in court. Even if he does sometimes have fun... the emotional abuse is something he is going to need a lot of help dealing with here.

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