A stay at the mental hospital only made my son worse, help?

Angela Raine - posted on 06/30/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My son had been dealing with depression for a few weeks and he kept telling me about how he wanted to die and I became more and more afraid of losing him. I talked to my husband and we decided that we didn't know what else to do to help him. So when he came home we sat down and said we were going to take him to a hospital. He said he wouldn't go so when he refused we called the police to bring him there. He ran away but the police found him and brought him there in handcuffs. He spent a week at the hospital but when he got out his depression was worse. We made him see a therapist and the therapist told us that on top of worsening his depression the experience left him with PTSD and now he hates me for it. He won't share his feelings with me anymore and whenever I ask he just tells me to "fuck off" and I don't say don't say that to me because I feel that he is justified. I hated seeing him depressed before and it broke my heart to send him to the hospital but now it hurts even more to see him in worse pain and knowing that I'm responsible for it. And now I'm scared that one day I'll come home to find an empty bottle of pills and him dead on the bed. Please help because I don't know what to do :'(

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Lydian - posted on 07/02/2016

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Nothing hurts a mother’s heart than to see a son or daughter in pain. Suicide, anger and PTSD certainly are red flags that need attention. However, you are not responsible for any of these things, not even the hospital stay. What you can do is educate yourself with knowledge about depression, suicide, and PTSD, then find a therapist that he connects with or a support group that is peer related for him. Perhaps make an appointment with a physician to rule out any medical or physical reasons for the depression, and let him guide you to the right psychological care.

Meanwhile, love him unconditionally. Most of all, do not cave into worry or fear. I suggest pastoral care through local churches to help you and your husband cope through this difficult time. Right now you need faith in your ability as parents and knowledge for your son to recover. Here’s a free eBook on understanding suicide, they also have a 24-hour chat line so you can ask questions and get some guidance. http://bit.ly/29eszok
Keeping you in thought and prayer.

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Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

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Is there someone he likes? That you like too be around him? If he's suicidal-he can't be alone but if he is getting worse----ask him to go to the hospital with you.
Can you call the suicide hotline? Or crisis line. Please, will have ideas of what you can do but it 'may' be the hospital again for a longer stay

Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

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It's too soon to say he's worse. A lot of things probably came up for him since the psych ward. Let him take the lead, if he can see a therapist--it will take time for him to open up--heck it does for anyone. Perhaps you are wanting to know too much --the only thing you can do is keep a safe distance.

Angela Raine - posted on 06/30/2016

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He's still 16 and we're trying to get him to see one but often he just refuses and the Therapist can tell he doesn't open up :'(

Sofia - posted on 06/30/2016

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At least you tried something! He's got a therapist so hopefully he can open up to him. I say back off a bit, no need to talk to him about it...he knows where to go...I had to take my mom to psyche ward. She hates me for it but is much better. Never expect a thanks or gratitude for helping in these cases. It may not happen unfortunately. You did the right thing---give him space.

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