A tricky situation - step daughter

Nathalie - posted on 10/12/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )




My step daughter is my niece, now before anyone starts on me that it is too close to home etc, I know, been through it, fought every battle there is, lost most of my family because if it... However I'd also like to point out that my sister cheated on her husband and left him whilst he was deployed in Iraq, we got together 6 months later.
The problem I have is: my step daughter/niece (who is 12) is allowed to be way above her years. She has an iPad, an iPhone, a boyfriend, wears make up to school. All things that I don't agree with, neither does her dad (my husband) when she visits us, she is not allowed to wear make up and this is a constant battle. I also have a seven year old daughter and I do not want her encouraged by her behavior.
Now I understand times have changed, but I don't think a 12 year old should be wearing make up to quite openly attract the opposite sex, and also feel she is "ugly" without it, her dad and I have told her numerous times how naturally beautiful she is.
I get blamed for her not being allowed to wear make up, actually I get blamed for everything, and although my husband does back me up, it's not always believable, as if he would prefer to blame me instead of being the bad person.
My sister refuses to speak to me, she has been most callous and cold since we got together, even though she has a new life and is married again...
I'm thinking of compromising and saying perhaps she could wear clear mascara when she is here... I'm at a loss and tired of being the bad person....


Tessa - posted on 10/12/2013




Maybe you could instead go buy make-up that would appear more suitable for your house.....pick light earth tones and maybe find out and show her how to apply a different style. Make it something you can do together and show her that it can be done different ways. Maybe she would relent if it seemed like you were giving a little.

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