Abandoned 1st time mother with an 8 month old. How to pick up the peices

Shannon - posted on 09/03/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'd been with my boyfriend for two years. And today he says that he's done he cant trust me and he's leaving. He has personal trust issues that I havent been able to help him with. I suggested counseling to him and he became emotionally abusive again calling me names (whore and slut). I was shocked to hear him come out and say this.from the clear blue. He always brings things up from the past and we relive the whole situation as if it just happend. It can be weeks, months, or even years later. Things are constantly being thrown in my face. Ive made huge changes to become a better person for our new family. And nothing I have done is noticed in the least. I dont know what to do. I have been a stay at home mother to are child. So I have no income or savings, no place to live, and no education other than a semester of college. His judgements of me seem to influenced heavily by his friends. And I have done everything I can to try to talk to him. Its way beyond repair I feel. He tells me who I can and cant hang out with. And questions me as if im doing something wrong when im not with him. I dont know where to go from here or how to move on and pick up the pieces. I have nobody to ask for help. He just kicked me to the curb

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Nancy S - posted on 09/07/2013

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I don't know how old you are, I'm guessing, early 20's. Believe me, you have done nothing wrong and you can't fix him. You need to contact the abuse hotline. They will come get yiu. They also give you a safe place and will help you find a job, a low income property. They will even help you to get all the federal aid you are entitled to. I hope your young man seeks the help he needs, . You need to remember you can only fix you and your childs lufe. He has to fix his himself. I wish you only the best. Please let me know how things work out, ,even if you stay there I would like to know. I'm half cop and half mom, so keep me informed

Nancy S - posted on 09/04/2013

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Honey, that is called abuse. If he is only verbally abusing you right now, I can promise you it will progress to much worse. You have done nothing to deserve this and there is nothing you can do to fix it. My advise to you is to make an emergency get away kit, plan. If you have family that can help, call them immediately, without him knowing. If you don't have family to help call the abuse hotline in your phone book. I talk from experience, it will escalate to hitting you and from there your child. I have seen family's killed from simular situations. I was a female state trooper for more years then I care to admit to. Please get out while you can.

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