about to be a new mother I just need advice

Maggie - posted on 10/04/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




well for starters I'm unmarried when I first found out I was pregnant the baby's dad wanted no part the classic " I'm ruining his life " but I didn't give in since then got healthcare singed for unemployment finishing my Cosmo test to get. My license Long story short he has drug & drinking problem and is a hardcore anarchist. :/ I let him use my car. He went to this convention which laste forever got drunk & high then started texting me the kid didn't need a birth certificate or social security & we had to leave to chile to save ourselves cause the USA is going to crumble ..... I told him he was a crack head & to leave me alone he's suppost To be in rehab he broke my car .... Even till this day on his fb account people are telling him to move to North Carolina to join some group like ... I had enough .. But now he wants to be in the kids life and apologize .... I don't want to be a douche I don't want my kid around that his parents are meth heads like everything is tellin me no I feel bad but the circumstances it's. like damn ... But I don't want him on the birth certificate or to be there while I give birth .. Even our whole relationship he was unemployed I wasted my taxes and my money I received after graduating school to support us .... I'm just done


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Maggie - posted on 10/04/2013




Thank you so much I will definitely take this all to heart my family is super supportive just I have to really know all my rights and to keep me and my kid safe thank you

Ana - posted on 10/04/2013




Wow, so sorry to hear this.

My advice:

When you deliver your baby, you need to do it around people who love and care for you. IF you don't trust him or his family, then don't invite them to be in the room or around you when you deliver and during your healing time (6 weeks after delivery). You will be very weak and tired and sore during and after delivery. Having people around who stress you out will make it worse. This will be nothing like a fairytale.

If he wants nothing to do with the baby, and in his case he should back off trying to be in the baby's life until he goes to rehab, then just accept this.

You can file for child support later.

In some states if a man is not around to sign the birth certificate, then he has to prove paternity in order to do it later. Know the laws where you live regarding him being a parent and you getting child support and things of that nature. Take some time and talk to some officials at the department of human services and get your family involved to help you out.

Don't be weak when you deliver...he may change his mind and want to come see you and the baby. You need to have someone help you to keep him away until he finishes rehab/ The baby should not be alone with him, and if you want to give him pictures, then that is up to you, but an addict is not what a mother turns her child over to (you can go to jail for this). Again, not a fairytale.

When your child is born, you are a PARENT. You have to protect and provide for that child, and if you do not, you could loose you child as well as go to jail if something happens to your child because of who you left the baby with (and knew the folks were not capable of taking care of the child, I'm talking about the child's father or others).

A lot to digest.

Just do your research, while you are slow and pregnant, and prepare for delivery.

You will be fine. Other mothers will give you their take on this as well.

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