about to lose it

Christin - posted on 01/04/2014 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My son has been acting so out of control he's violent with his older sisters he's disrespectful to me and my husband grounding doesn't work I doubt want to spank I'm literally pulling out my hair and all my husband does is compare his behavior to our oldest who is 17 and yes she's mouths but she's a straight A student who works and slacks on her chores help any ideas

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Desiree - posted on 01/06/2014

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My SS10 acts this way. Violent, disrespectful, basically just doesn't listen to a thing adults say. We took him to a psychiatrist and he was diagnosed with Oppositional Definant disorder. This means, in order to straighten him out, he has to have structure, rules, discipline and consequences, and we as parents have to stick to the consequences instead of punishing and then giving him his way when we have enough of his whining and annoying behavior. The worse thing you can do is threaten punishment and not follow through because they know they can walk on you everytime after that.

Is it possible to take him to a councelor who may be able to get an outside perspective?

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Kim - posted on 01/07/2014

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I am praying for our strength as a mom as well as clarity for your son. Xxoo keep praying and be faithful. God has a plan for you and is making you stronger.

Desiree - posted on 01/07/2014

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We were told that ODD can't be treated by meds. SS is on meds to help with his ADHD that "could" help with ODD but it won't cure it. We did research on our own. Read the book "The Defiant Child" by Douglas Riley. The book helped us alot

Kim - posted on 01/06/2014

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My son7. Acting a wild fool a few.months into mine n his father's custody change I agreed to 7 days rotating. He's started cussing.hitting siblings.backtalking n mouthing off. And even lying saying i don't feed him and don't take care of him which is a load. My kids r spoiled and I soak that with love and sugar lol.

We r going. To trial in march. Where I plan to gain full custody back (prayers pls on March 7)

He's seeing a counselor. He's been diagnosed with anxiety and add. Mildly.... I agree with the ladies...He. needs structure and stability and dependability. He'll be ok. Just be consistent and pray with him. God bless xxo

Christin - posted on 01/06/2014

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When he went to the mental hospital they did diagnose him with o.d.d but never told me how to handle it they prescribed him abilify but Medicaid won't cover and it cost 500$ guess I should research more about it

Mardi - posted on 01/04/2014

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If he is picking fights with his sisters, because he cant do what he wants.....how about some chores as punishment, to keep him too busy to pick fights.....got a fence you need whitewashed or a garden that needs weeding/lawn mowing etc.

Can his father spend time with him and help to show him how to work through his frustrations??? Sounds like a combination of early puberty, testosterone and the almighty know it all teenager thats about to live in your home.

If taking stuff away isn't enough to change his attitude, its time to teach some gratitude through chores and volunteering........good luck

Brian - posted on 01/04/2014

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Your son is acting out for a reason. And because he is still a child he does not know how to deal with his frustrations. The good news is that you know he has a problem. The trick is for you and your husband to find out what it is. I empathize with your son because grounding him only increases his frustrations.
Usually when a child acts out the way your son is doing could be because of several reasons. Bullying at school, problems at home, maybe he is having a tough time with puberty. Whatever the reason(s) is/are as parents sit with your kid away from the rest of the family and speak with him gently and with compassion. At first he might lash out at you guys. Please remain calm. Remember you are the adults here. Eventually when he realizes that you guys care. He would begin to open up about his feelings. And by knowing what the problem is the solution will follow.

Christin - posted on 01/04/2014

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He's 12 we take his xbox and bike usually so he will go around and start fights with his sisters

Jodi - posted on 01/04/2014

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How old is your son? And what sort of groundings are you giving him that don't work? Is he losing privileges (phone, tv, game machines, etc)?

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