Absent Father,

Candace - posted on 11/17/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I have a six year old son who has only met his father once in life (and that was when he was 8 months old) He recently began asking about his father. His father and I didn't get along too well. His father left when I was about 2 months pregnant after allowing his mother to talk him into believing I was not carrying his child but someone else's. I was exclusive with my son's father so I knew he was living a lie. That was my first warning that he would not be a very great father. He has since left me and I have not seen the man in years, He is married with more children from what I hear, I have attempted over and over throughout the years to get him to be involved in my son's life, but to no avail he just will not be there for him. He lies to his family about me still to this day and I have since made up my mind that I will not waste my time on this man, I have been raising my son alone and I was wanting advice on how to handle these questions that my son is asking me about his father.

I was angry with my son's father for a long time for abadoning my child. I've always wondered what would make a person leave their child and not know if they are dead or alive. Over the past six years, I have searched and searched for this man even looking up this obituary to one of his siblings who passed away the same year as my son was born, each time I located him, he would change his number and then I would be back at step one again.

This last spring, I tried one last time to get him to be apart of his child's life. I took $4,000 and was got a rental reserved to drive my son myself the four hours distance away to meet his father. His father called only to lie and say he didn't live in Bloomington IN anymore but futher south. When I found the truth out. I made it out in my mind that I never wanted to see this man again. My son has started asking questions though...how sould I go about telling him about his ''father''?


Autumn - posted on 11/17/2012




I have a somewhat similar situation and have decided when the time comes to have that talk with my son I will talk to a family counselor first. My hope is that a professional will be able to guide me in a way that won't be harmful to my son. You know kind of like "ask Dr. Phil". Good luck!

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