Absent Father (also convict) filed for custody. Pease help

Lyanne - posted on 08/13/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My current situation... The father didn't want me to file child support since the beginning. He said he would be there for her and buy anything she needs. Since I was going to college and not working I asked for welfare and they automatically filed child support. He continued to tell me to take him off C.S. I didnt agree. I struggled to find babysiters because i felt the fathers current home was not fitting for my daughter... They smoke weed and drink alcohol on daily basis. Many people go to that house to hang out... which you can say they are gang members. Father was in and out of jail twice within a one year span. My daughter turned 2 and i was done with him. The Grandmother would threaten me to take my child away if i didnt bring her by the home even if the father wasnt there. She would say that she has rights to my daughter and try to scare me. It didnt faze me. So with this i was afraid one day ill take her and when i come back she wont be there. This is the reason why i stopped taking her there. When I finally got a job I got off the welfare and the child support stopped as well. I figured it was for the best since I didnt want the father involved anymore. My mistake was not trying to get full custody while he was in jail. Now my daughter is 5 years old. She doesnt know him nor his family members. He got in contact with me through Facebook and ask to see her and said he had clothes and toys for her. In the end Im sure he didnt buy her anything since he has never work a day in his life. This is why he could pay the C.S. in the past. Everytime he gave me clothing is was always hand-me-downs as well as toys. I dont mind. Clothing is clothing she's going to grow out of it anyways. All in all I dont want my daughter to get attached to a father who is in and out of jail. My nieces suffered alot with their father. Just like their situation the father would only contact them when he would come out spend the first days with them and then disappear. He would only remember about them when he would go to jail. I dont want my daughter to suffer and wonder why her loving father isn't comming. Im working from home right now its not alot of money but my daughter is not missing anything. I worked hard to raise her by myself. She currently has a father figure which I've been with since she was 5months. Im now engaged and living a wonderful life. Some people might say no matter what if the father wants to be there give him a chance. He still lives with mom, still has no job, never graduated High School and has a new lady currently about 7 months pregnant. He is the one who filed for custody. I want to know if their is anything I can do? Will he end up getting visitation? If it was up to me I would keep him away for good. I dont know what to do...

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Michelle - posted on 08/13/2014

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You had his child so you made the choice to be tied to the man for a very long time. You don't have the right to dictate if he sees his child or not.
All I can suggest is get yourself a lawyer and go to court to get visitation/custody sorted out. We have no idea what the judge will rule though. If you are really concerned for her safety while with him then push for supervised visits.

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