absent father seeking parental rights.

Diana - posted on 01/29/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

4

0

0

My daughters biological father left me when I was 4 mos pregnant. She is now almost 10 years old and he filed for joint legal custody, visitstion, changing her last name,... After I moved to another state. He filed within the state I moved from but legally they held jurisdiction over me because I had lived there within 6 mos prior. He was legally able to serve me publicly in the newspaper in the state I moved from claiming he didn't know where I had moved (which was a lie because I had told him) long story short he went to court and was awarded everything because I didn't know about Court and wasn't there to contest. My daughter knows another man as daddy. I am now filing for a new trial. Any advice would be wonderful. I am afraid of this hurting my daughter and will fight at all cost!!

6 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

13,264

21

2015

Sorry, sweetie, but a mother can be forced to share custody, that means allow your child to live part time with the other parent. And, yes, it CAN be decided on the basis of whether or not the mother is facilitating contact.

If, as I said, you do not have COURT ORDERS stating that you have sole custody, and do not have to allow him visitation, then you can have your custody adjusted, whether you like it or not.

'that's the facts, Jack', as the saying goes. And, whether you like it or not, the bottom line IS the judge's decision, not yours, not your lawyer's, and not what you're told on the internet. Sorry, sweetie.

Jenny - posted on 01/30/2014

26

0

7

Just to clear up your comment, unless a mother is deemed to be unfit or causing harm to her child no court will remove her children from her care on a permanent basis. These are the words of a lawyer! He has applied for contact and was told no as broke many contact orders. I dont brake the law im a text book mother of 3 children who ive raised for 8 years single handedly!

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

13,264

21

2015

Jenny, I certainly hope that you got that decision in writing, because if it was just someone working in the court system that told you, they are sorely mistaken.

The only person that can decide whether or not to remove a parent's rights is a judge. And, should that person that you cut off contact from choose to do so, they may petition not only for contact but also custody, and they'd be able to use your attempt at parental alienation as a reason to do so. Most judges would side with them at that point.

Unless you have a judge's ruling in hand terminating his rights to contact, you will be breaking the law.

Jenny - posted on 01/30/2014

26

0

7

I have a 3 yr old son and his dad is nothin but a selfish headmesser. He hasn seen his son in a yr and wants 2 walk in n out his life as n wen suits him. I have takin him to court to lay down his visits but doesnt keep to them or pay maitance, court told me after the chances hes had i have the right to cut contact and that no court in right mind would award custody to a messer who has no reason to apply. Fite for your rights

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/30/2014

13,264

21

2015

She needs to know now. He's got every right to petition for custody/visitation.

I've always found that there's two sides to every story, and generally, in a custody situation, a biological mother may present 'both' sides to garner opinions, but will skew the presentation so that everything looks in her favor. Not necessarily on purpose, mind you, but...

If we were to consult your ex for his side of the story, how closely would it match your version? My guess would be not at all, but his would be biased the other way. Which is why an impartial decision needs to be made.

Jodi - posted on 01/30/2014

3,561

36

3907

You hurt your daughter when you didn't tell her the truth about who her daddy is. Sorry, I don't agree that she shouldn't get to know her biological father. I get that it has been a long time. I am assuming he was given the opportunity AFTER you had your daughter to be involved in her life. Maybe now he wishes he had. Maybe he wasn't ready to back then. But unless he has been abusive, unless he has demonstrated he will be a danger to your daughter, then you should be encouraging a relationship and allowing HER to decide if she wants to know her dad. I don't think he would have gone to this extent unless he really wanted a relationship with his daughter.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms