Absentee Father for 13 months now

Carol - posted on 09/20/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

3

0

1

My son's father stop seeing him in August of 2014. We had no idea why or where he was. I received a text from him this February 2015 giving me his new number. He moved to Daytona Beach. My son and I live in Tampa. He has written to his son 1 time and has maybe called him about 6 times in the last 13 months. He is now asking me to meet him halfway between Daytona Beach and Florida which would be about 1 and a half hours drive back and forth. Mind you I have continuously told him via text that he is more than welcome to come and pick up his son from me and see him anytime he wants. I have left the door open. Yet he won't come and get him for a visit. Even during our entire summer visit not 1 time! I believe he is just using this as an excuse and that if he really wanted to see our son then he would visit him. I know no matter where my son is I would find a way to visit him no matter what! I want him to see his father but at this point I feel he should make an effort to get reacquainted with him and put forth the effort so our son knows his dad is wanting to have a relationship with him. What if any suggestions or ideas do any of you have out there?

3 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2015

13,209

21

2014

If you are not willing to compromise, and continue to dictate terms, he can file against you in court, and if he proves that you are attempting to alienate him, he can be granted full custody, with you having to abide by visitation.
What ARE your current court orders regarding custody and visitation? If you don't have any, GET SOME YESTERDAY. You cannot dictate this on your own. It is a legal issue, and if you don't handle it correctly, it will go badly for you.
Legally, he's got the right to the relationship, and to be a parent. If you present obstacles to that, the legal system can have you removed from the equation. You think that the effort should be one sided, but in fact, it should be a COOPERATIVE effort, as should EVERYTHING in regard to the child until the child is 18. It's called co-parenting, and when people can be adults about the situation, it works very well.

Carol - posted on 09/20/2015

3

0

1

Wow. I did not know that. In what way(s) can he use it against me exactly? Have you had this happen to you of others you know if?

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 09/20/2015

13,209

21

2014

You cannot completely dictate terms, and if you are not willing to meet him halfway (and an hour and a half drive is NOT THAT FAR), he can use that against you.

Why should he take the entire transportation burden? It should be split between the two of you. You need to be more willing to compromise, or this is not going to end well for you.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms