Michelle - posted on 01/13/2012 ( no moms have responded yet )
I'm more than just a working Mom, I'm a CONSTANTLY working Mom, which sometimes makes me feel like not a Mom at all. I'm a surgeon in training with a wonderful husband who has a normal 9-5 job that happens to pay all the bills, and I'm a mom to a 15mo boy. I go to work at 6am, and dont usually get home until 7pm, sometimes later. I try to get home in time to catch my son playing before his nighttime milk, and I always put him to bed if I get home in time. But that gives me maybe an hour a day with my son. He clearly prefers my husband, and its becoming more evident lately. He'll reach for Daddy when he's in my arms, he'll cry if I come to comfort him but settle with daddy. He even prefers the Nanny! If I get home early enough to relieve the nanny, instead of smiles like he gives Daddy, I get tears and reaching for the nanny if I go to pick him up. I try not to let it bother me, and I'm grateful he has a nanny that really loves him and that he clearly loves, but it breaks my heart. His fisrt words were Car, Mama, and dada, but now he wont even say Mama anymore, its Dada dada dada all the time. Its like I dont exist! And I dont even have the weekends for bonding time, as I have a lot of "take home" work, and often get called in to the hospital for the entire weekend, not seeing my son at all last weekend. Its hard on my husband because he gets home from work and is "ON" until my son goes to bed, and on weekends is like a single Dad. He takes him to all his doctor's appointments, I went to the ones when I was on maternity leave and that's it. Even when my son was sick I couldnt get out of the hospital to bring him to the doctor's, my husdband did. I just feel like I have no role in his life except bedtime, and he doesnt want me. Last night when he was irritable after getting shots, my husband had to come in to calm him down as I was getting no where, and I just wanted to go to bed and let them be. I'm exhausted and sad. I love my son more than anything, and am starting to hate a job I love because it keeps me from him. I just want my cuddly baby back, who used to say Mama.