ADD/ADHD

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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WHY DO PEOPLE WHO DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT THIS MAKE US AS PARENTS UNCARING WHEN WE ARE THE ONES WHO LOVE AND ADORE THEM

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Jaime - posted on 05/17/2009

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Quoting Bonnie:

I truly believe that the current attitudes are due to the mass overdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD, where brain scanning, to find out what is going on in the brains within these kids is not done therefore even difficult children or children with environmentally stimulated behavioural issues are written off and medicated so that the parents and/or teachers can live with a child that they otherwise cannot cope with. There is full diagnostic testing available but a great deal of medical professionals with tired and exhausted, frustrated parents in their offices are guessing diagnosis without performing these tests. Parents feel better, they can't possibly believe it could be environmental behavioural or alternate psychological issues rather than actual brain dysfunction. I do believe the disorders are real but I do not believe that every child currently being medicated for it has it. What happened in the last generation which would have to have been the size of the Chernobyl Nuclear Meltdown that has created such a generation specific, seeming epidemic of ADD/ADHD? Many children are being diagnosed or having such a diagnosis pushed upon them when in alternate environments with alternate caregivers they do not behave irrationally or hyperactively and seemingly show contentment and enacting self control. A full medical assessment is required and unfortunately is not always done before a child is written off. My own sons school principal wrote my son off as ADD because he liked playing football and rough games, intellectual stimulation bored him senseless and yet he has the most amazing visual spacial learning ability. He did not fit into the standard schooling system which is based on IQ, not emotional intelligence, crystalised intelligence or visual spacial abilities. He is an incredibly talented mechanic, had the wheels off my car at the age of 4, pulled every toy to pieces to see how they worked, pulled every bike he ever owned apart and did have a great deal of energy, still does but he doesnt have ADD or ADHD and although he does not bow down to "authority" he has always treated me with respect, perhaps knowing that I will not accept anything less even better he actually respects me because I don't have any unreasonable expectations of him to "fit in" as a round peg into a socially, expectation driven square hole. I feel for all parents whom actually do cope with the true diagnostics of ADD/ADHD but it certainly does not explain them all. For the public it is just easier to assume the parent is inadequate, for some parents, they want it to be something that can be medicated or controlled with a magic pill so that they can get on with their lives and be seen as socially acceptable. (sick I know but real and happens too often). Children with different brain wiring and learning abilities that don't fit with the current school curriculums and social or environmental expectations are also being written off as ADD/ADHD and they are not. It is hard I know, but do try to not "own" others ignorance to the topic as though it belongs to you because it doesn't, it belongs to them who choose to have narrow minds.



I enjoyed reading your post concerning the often negated facts about environmental triggers for behaviour difficulties.  Your Son sounds like he is primarily kinestetic as far as learning goes, as he learns best by working with his hands and disconnecting and reconnecting objects to learn how they work--it's shocking to think that all your Son likely needed was a change in the methods of teaching at school so that he could incorporate how he learns best, with what he is required to learn.  I bet the teachers would have seen just as much, if not more of an improvement in his focus by changing up their learning styles, instead of insisting that he be tamed with medication to control his hyperactivity.  Hyperactivity is not a medical 'problem'...it's a disorder of the brain when it lacks the ability to focus and loses control (often from impaired motor function--as with a child that needs glasses, or one that needs an alternative approach to learning so that their motor functions can be stimulated to suit their brains capacity for learning).  There are a lot of homeopathic methods that contribute to calming hyperactivity (no red dye, etc...) but it doesn't stop there.  Misdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD is what makes many people skeptical about the effectivness, and more importantly the increased need for medication.  I believe that medication is necessary in some cases, as I'm certain that there are children that suffer from an extreme form of these disorders where all the nurturing in the world cannot curb the anxious tendancies, but that doesn't mean that the medication should serve as a means to an end...Medication can only be effective if there are other contributing factors to the corrective measures taken to subdue the symptoms of ADD/ADHD.  It's the same as taking medication for the flu...one cannot rely solely on the medication as a cure-all...one must be diligent in other methods of treatment as well; such as, staying well hydrated and getting lots of rest.  I don't believe that it is just the parents that should be responsible for making sure that children with ADD/ADHD are provided with other means of treatment besides the medication.  At school, teachers should be well informed about the disorders and perhaps there needs to be a seminar offered to teachers as to the tried and true techniques that work best with children that have ADD/ADHD..this way teachers are not so quick to judge the parents for lack of medicating and are more apt to handle the hyperactivity and can perhaps help to bring it under control before it gets out of hand...this would only benefit the children more because they would feel a sense of belonging (not being sent away everytime they lose control) and the encouragement and alteration of learning methods would give them an opportunity to find what works best for them in a social setting.  The saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is spot on when it comes to something as important as ADD/ADHD.  These children are not uncontrollable--they don't know what makes them lose control, so it will take much more than a tiny pill three times a day to help them figure it out.

Erika - posted on 05/15/2009

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Many people think that these conditions are fictional and made up. My 10 year old was diagnosed at the age of 6 and his own father refused to believe that anything was wrong. He even refused to give him his medications when he was in his care. I had many problems with ignorant school officials and teachers. Teachers even sat back whle my child was teased at school. I found that parents have to be advocates for their children because no one else will most of the time. I eventually ended up homeschooling my son because I understood his true needs. If you are persistent, things will get better with time. My son is now back in public school, he gets mostly A's and B's, and he is also off the medication too.

Jayne - posted on 05/11/2009

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I am not concerned with what others think but I do feel sorry for them because they are uneducated about the problem. And schools do nothing to help by serving food with artificial dyes, MSG and partially hydrogenated fats--not good for any child let alone ones with ADD/ADHD. So we must educate those who don't know and in time they too will come around. Good luck!

Phyllis - posted on 05/11/2009

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What bugs me most is logging on here and seeing conversations that consist of people ranting about how they would NEVER use a child leash, or how their pet peeve is parents who cant control their child in public etc. You can bet your buns that most of these people dont have to deal with kids who are off the walls, have serious impulse control issues and only sleep 3 hours a night. My son is severe ADHD/ODD. He sleeps 3 hours per night and sometimes stays awake for up to 30 solid hours before he can wind down enough to sleep. We are working with different meds to try to help him AND our family as a whole. Because no one is sleeping and we are all worn down to tears!

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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IM SO GLAD YOU WERE THERE FOR UR BROTHER LIKE U MY SON WAS DAGNOSED AT 5 I DID EVERYTHING WITH HIM MY POOR DAUGHTER LOST OUT ON HER TIME WITH ME BUT AS SHE WAS OLDER SHE UNDERSTOOD AND WAS A GREAT HELP IT WAS NOT TILL HE GOT TO SECONDRY SCHOOL THAT I HAD TO PUT HIM ON MEDS. AND IT WORKED FOR HIM SO KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ALL CREDIT DUE TO YOU BEST WISHES

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Honora - posted on 03/12/2016

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I am new to this group and I have a question about my son and his medication. He has a very mild case of ADD combined with adjustment anxiety disorder. He is 8 and has had an interdisciplinary team for 8 wks now and 9 days ago we decided to start him on Focalin XR 10 mgs once a day. The reason is to help his focus because he has so much going on that he cant concentrate and it really started to effect his self-esteem. He has been handling the meds very well. I was apprehensive; but I know I have tried everything to help him other than meds and at this point it may be what he needs. He has not had any adverse reactions, still sleeps great, his appetite has actually increased and he feels better which is the most important. My question is; he woke up tonight about midnight and threw up, we did go to dinner and it could very well be a case of spoiled food. My son has never taken medication and shockingly he has never thrown up before either (i know im lucky.... Lol). I do not think it was the medicine that made him ill due to the fct he has been taking it for 9 days now and he took it 18 hrs prior to getting ill. So my question; should I give it to him in the morning (bec he is suppose to take it daily), or wait until the stomach goes away. I know they sound like dumb questions- but this is the first meds he has been on and first time he threw up and his pediatrician is unavbl. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!!

Bonnie - posted on 05/17/2009

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I truly believe that the current attitudes are due to the mass overdiagnosis of ADD/ADHD, where brain scanning, to find out what is going on in the brains within these kids is not done therefore even difficult children or children with environmentally stimulated behavioural issues are written off and medicated so that the parents and/or teachers can live with a child that they otherwise cannot cope with. There is full diagnostic testing available but a great deal of medical professionals with tired and exhausted, frustrated parents in their offices are guessing diagnosis without performing these tests. Parents feel better, they can't possibly believe it could be environmental behavioural or alternate psychological issues rather than actual brain dysfunction. I do believe the disorders are real but I do not believe that every child currently being medicated for it has it. What happened in the last generation which would have to have been the size of the Chernobyl Nuclear Meltdown that has created such a generation specific, seeming epidemic of ADD/ADHD? Many children are being diagnosed or having such a diagnosis pushed upon them when in alternate environments with alternate caregivers they do not behave irrationally or hyperactively and seemingly show contentment and enacting self control. A full medical assessment is required and unfortunately is not always done before a child is written off. My own sons school principal wrote my son off as ADD because he liked playing football and rough games, intellectual stimulation bored him senseless and yet he has the most amazing visual spacial learning ability. He did not fit into the standard schooling system which is based on IQ, not emotional intelligence, crystalised intelligence or visual spacial abilities. He is an incredibly talented mechanic, had the wheels off my car at the age of 4, pulled every toy to pieces to see how they worked, pulled every bike he ever owned apart and did have a great deal of energy, still does but he doesnt have ADD or ADHD and although he does not bow down to "authority" he has always treated me with respect, perhaps knowing that I will not accept anything less even better he actually respects me because I don't have any unreasonable expectations of him to "fit in" as a round peg into a socially, expectation driven square hole. I feel for all parents whom actually do cope with the true diagnostics of ADD/ADHD but it certainly does not explain them all. For the public it is just easier to assume the parent is inadequate, for some parents, they want it to be something that can be medicated or controlled with a magic pill so that they can get on with their lives and be seen as socially acceptable. (sick I know but real and happens too often). Children with different brain wiring and learning abilities that don't fit with the current school curriculums and social or environmental expectations are also being written off as ADD/ADHD and they are not. It is hard I know, but do try to not "own" others ignorance to the topic as though it belongs to you because it doesn't, it belongs to them who choose to have narrow minds.

Kay - posted on 05/17/2009

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i know the feeling im 22 with 2 kids and one with suspected adhd who is currently in process of seeing doctors,psycolagists and all the rest of it. had a behaveral management expert in and she gave up she tryed everythin and nout worked....... yet when u try to confront them outside u get the evils and sneers............ if only people knew how it felt to do it 24seven without a brake.be judgeing

Lynsey - posted on 05/17/2009

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my daughter has adhd o.d.d. adn is socially autistic, i have my daughter on dexamphetamine which has worked so far, i did not feel happy at all putting her on it as b4 she was diagnosed i have a friend who is the mother to such a wonderful lad he has got adhd and has tourettes but apparently he could not be put onto (speed) because it would make his tourettes worse, do you know what he is the most nicest people i know he is so caring and loving what other 15yr do you know who spend their saturdays with their grandparent in an old age peoples home not alot! He is in college and studying sports he plays rugby and is such a good person so i do have hope about my daughter future we all must have hope i have had words with people in the past who has told me to 'sort my daughter out' would they say to people in wheelchairs get up and walk of course not. These kids are beautiful inside and out they are innocent and us as parents do all we possibly can for them to keep them safe and to keep our own sanity!!! I am a gobby cow where my daughter is concerned and any1 who slags her off slags me off and i can tell you i dont let no-one talk to her like crap !!!!! I wish all you parents out there who has kids with adhd and anyother disability all my very best wishes and keep up with the good work ur're doing lots of love to you all xxx

Heather - posted on 05/17/2009

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My daughter is adhd and she is 7 they put her on concerta but it zombied her so I took her off i took her for extreem testing and the resul was to put her on stretata it works great shes pleasant, loving , calm people who dont have a child with this dont understand and medication is necessary my child couldnt sleep at night and then was exhausted all day. so we as caring parents have to make that decision. now shes sleeping and doing great and i have no regrets

Jaime - posted on 05/16/2009

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Medication is necessary for some children with ADD/ADHD, I certainly won't argue that...I just get upset when I hear about schools bullying parents into medicating their children when it's not always a case of hyper activity. It's great that the medication has worked for your daughter Amanda, as I believe that you are not just counting on the meds to help her...you mentioned a healthy diet and structure which also play a key role in helping children to learn focus and self-control techniques. So, meds combined with consistent homeopathic methods will definitely increase a child's likelihood of responding well to the treatment. In my little brother's case, he has absolutely no structure to his life and there is chaos in his home from the time he wakes up until he goes to bed. He will be in highschool next year and I fear that he will not have learned enough self-control to get him through those tough years. I try to be optimistic about his future...but when he isn't being given much encouragement, it's difficult to imagine that his life will be anything but chaos. I would like to think that he can come off of his meds at some point, but that also seems less and less likely the more time passes and the less is done to help him find control of himself.

Amanda - posted on 05/16/2009

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Quoting Jaime:

While I don't have a child with ADD/ADHD, I have younger siblings that suffer from these conditions and I have to admit that I'm a bit skeptical about the treatment of their diagnoses. I definitely believe that these disorders exist and I also believe that they are treatable...but with that being said, I don't think that medicine alone can help to tame the often chaotic outbursts of children with hyperactivity. My siblings all take medication, and I have found that it puts them into a zombie-like state, forcing them by chemical submission, to slow down. This topic is a difficult one, because a lot of times I feel that parents are pressured into medicating their children as a result of an ultimatum being given by the schools that claim they will expell a child if they are not brought under control. ADD and ADHD are still being studied indepth to determine the environmental factors that play just as much of a roll as the genetic factors...so although some medications have been found to be helpful in calming the inner "storm" of a child, I believe that there is an even stronger ability for these children to learn self control. Now let me explain: I am a University graduate, and while I was in school, a friend of mine took a particular interest in psychology (I too studied psychology but not to the same extent) and she found it very helpful in learning new methods of treatment for her Son's attention deficit disorder. Her Son, while he was very intelligent and capable of learning and comprehending, had a lot of trouble focusing on particular tasks such as being able to put his words on paper (he could tell you a story but if you asked him to write it he wasn't able to connect his words in a sentence). What my friend learned in psychology is that there are pathways in our brains that coincide with what and how we learn. She helped her Son to focus by teaching him about a control centre (a mental or visual focal point) in order to train the pathway of his brain that would allow him to turn thoughts into sentences. I struggle with the concept of medication with regard to my youngest brother because, not only does the medication alter his personality, but also it has given him an excuse. And I can say that because I have had several conversations with his mother who has told him over and over that he can't control himself...so it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy for him. He has not been given the opportunity to try and self-control, rather his mother has allowed him to believe that he is beyond help without his medication---and this is very upsetting to me. I have spent one-on-one time with my brother and have encouraged him as much as I can so that he understands that he is a normal kid that just happens to be more hyperactive than most. I am a teacher, so I am very aware that a lot of hyperactivity and lack of focus is due to children not being able to learn something the way it is being taught (there are three styles of learning: auditory, visual, and kinestetic) and also in many cases, children cannot focus because they simply cannot see (their motor skills are impaired because they need glasses) and this makes if very difficult for them to pay attention, let alone learn and absorb information. I do not discredit medicine because every person is different, so I believe that different methods need to exist as not every child will experience ADD or ADHD the same. I personally am an advocate for teaching self-control moreso than offering medication, because I believe that our bodies are very capable of self-healing. This process of course is one that would require TONS of patience and a good understanding of the psychology of the disorders, so that children can learn to trigger their control centres when they find themselves getting out of control or lacking in focus. I applaud every parent that has a child with ADD/ADHD, as I know that it is a long, difficult battle and your every waking moment is spent trying to help your child to fit into what society has deemed "normal" because somehow society forgets that DIFFERENT is a primary facet of humanity.


It is trial and error with the meds. My daughter got put on meds at 4 years old and we were lucky to find a great one from the start. I know some people have a hard time with meds but with her it just slowed her down and made her able to act apropriate in a social setting. it doesnt make hrer tired and it does not change her personalitry. she still smiles all the time but now she is able to be still and act apropriatley. Beofre her meds she could not be tamed.  I agree in that meds alone is not likely to make much of a diference but then nothing alone will make much of a diference in a child who has sever ADHD. mine needs the combination of structure, healthy diet and meds. She still has bad days even with the meds but for the most part I am thankful that she has them.

Amanda - posted on 05/16/2009

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my whole family tells me that mine doesnt have it. Funny since they only see her twice a year.

Carol - posted on 05/16/2009

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Thats because people have no understanding of just how hard it is my ADHD son is now 18 trust me Ive been where you are now ADHD kids need so much more care my normal 17yr old has always had to stick up for his brother my 18yr old now smokes marijuana because he wont take medication & Ive actually punched a bloke out because he went to hit my son I get angry when people call him names all I can say is stay strong stay positive & remember your not alone also KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK OF BEING A MUM heres a quote I have the hardest yet most rewarding job IM A MOTHER

Tabitha - posted on 05/16/2009

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Delete Are you sure? Yes | No Posted by You (a moment ago)

I talked to my son's counselor who also has ADHD and he described the way the brain of a person with ADHD works. He says it works like someone who has an adrenelin rush 24/7. It's like the mind is constantly running and no time to stop and process thoughts. I was just reminded of how that feels when my husband cut his leg open and I had to rush him to the hospital. I didn't think, I just reacted. I couldn't imagine how that would feel every day. I see how a child could become very confused by the constant racing thoughts. I practice talking to my son and having him repeat what I have told him to make sure that he understands. I also have told his teachers about that technique, If you are a parent with a school aged child, it is very important to ask for a IEP, Individual Education Plan, for your child to make sure that their needs are being met. It is also important to make sure that the teachers are following the IEP. I have found this difficult, but very helpful to my son's education.

Dawnyelle - posted on 05/15/2009

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Erika Curry you are right. I am by son's biggest advocate. All parents should look at it that way. It pays to be involved with all aspects of your child's life, from school work to his/her friends. Doing so will be good for mother and child.

Erika - posted on 05/15/2009

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What kind of meds are your son taking? Do you think that they could be contributing to him not sleeping well. I know that if Aderall is given too late in the day, it will cause your child to be awake at night

[deleted account]

My husband has ADHD and so does my oldest stepson who is 8, we have 3 other kids as well (so far the 3 youngest don't have any signs of it), boy is it HARD! I struggle everyday to try and understand what my SS is going through and what my husband goes through ,and even my husband struggles with his son, both are on meds and my SS has 3 councelors to help him cope with his ADHD. On top of that his BM makes him feel guilty about his ADHD and agravates it, she is emotionally and mentally abusive toward him and does not care about his mental health, she often skips his counceling apointments because "It's not convenient for her" and she does not communicate with any of his councelors to try and help him. In fact she really doesn't want to be involved, she doesn't care or understand her own child's problems. That is a major struggle in my household, he doesn't feel worthy or loved by his BM. I get horrible looks from strangers in public when my SS acts up and some of my family members are even hard on him. So I feel your pain Sylvia, believe me I know exactly how you feel.

Rebekah - posted on 05/14/2009

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I understand some people think medication for ADHD is bad because it turns the child into a "zombie". There are several different medications and it is possible to find the right medication and dosage to help the child focus without the "zombie" side effects. As a parent you just have to communicate with your child's doctor and together you can find what works best for your child. Remember that what works for one may not for a sibling! That was the case in my family.

Rachel - posted on 05/14/2009

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I had adhd as a child and my mum was always looked down upon (she was a single mum also as my dad had an affair)

Everytime i misbehaved, it was always her fault. Apparently one person came upto her in supermarket when i was playing up and said "do you not know how to control your child"

i know exactly how much of a little bugger i was and now take a step back before judging people as you never know!

Barby - posted on 05/14/2009

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Quoting Melanie:

I was told my 7 year old had ADD when he started K his teacher told me we needed to find out what was wrong with him.Which made me feel like he was being treated like an outsider.She actually told me that one time she stood him up in class and let the other kids judge him on how he was that day.Don't think she really meant to tell me that but she did.So we started one med after seeing a phycoligist and he lost 7 lbs and grew 2 inches.Now we're on the third kind and I think he has already developed a eating disorder.Me and my husband don't like it but see he does need some med's to help him focus at school but don't like to see him on it.He's not so friendly and wants to be alone.He's so loving when not on it worry he want have any friends at school because thats when he doesn't want to have anything to do with other kids.


my son was on ridalin then byphentin both, of course, are stimulies. he wouldn't want breakfast then after school i'd ask him if he ate his lunch and he'd say he had his juice.so he was going until 2;30 on one glass of juice! and of course he was in tears and couldn't concentrate in class because he wasn't eating. he wouldn't get hungry until supper- a lot of good it did him durring the day.



the eating became an issue and it was something we were having to talk about everyday. i told him that even if he wasn't hungry he had to try because it was better for him. than if he did i would tell him how grown up it was to make that kind of choice. but i didn't want him to turn it into a controll thing for him and he was teetering on that and that's exactly how eating disorders start.



i stopped talking to him about the eating so it would stop being such a big part of our day and we switched him to strattera~ the only drug i'm aware of that is a non-stimuli and it's long lasting so he doesn't have the changes through out the day.



now he eats his whole lunch, comes home and needs more food! anyway it's what works for us, i wish your family well

Tabitha - posted on 05/13/2009

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I was in that position about 5 years ago with my oldest son. I went to a local counselor and it helped me understand what's going on in his head and helped him verbalize his thoughtsl. People don't truely understand it until they go through it. Follow your heart of hearts and it will lead you to do what's best for your child.

Tabitha - posted on 05/13/2009

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My son has ADHD and he is high functioning autistic. I have taken him off the medications because the teachers and doctors were the ones pushing it. They did not have to deal with the mood swings, irratability, not eating and aggression. He is actually better off without it. I have worked with a lot of teenagers that have had medications throughout their childhood and they have no coping skills because they were sedated for their childhood, I don't think medicating every child that has ADHD is the answer, I think it should be a case by case thing. I also think it is up to us as parents to become as educated as possible about the child's condition to help them work with it. Having ADHD is not the end of the world. We should just be our children's biggest advocate.

Jaime - posted on 05/13/2009

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While I don't have a child with ADD/ADHD, I have younger siblings that suffer from these conditions and I have to admit that I'm a bit skeptical about the treatment of their diagnoses. I definitely believe that these disorders exist and I also believe that they are treatable...but with that being said, I don't think that medicine alone can help to tame the often chaotic outbursts of children with hyperactivity. My siblings all take medication, and I have found that it puts them into a zombie-like state, forcing them by chemical submission, to slow down. This topic is a difficult one, because a lot of times I feel that parents are pressured into medicating their children as a result of an ultimatum being given by the schools that claim they will expell a child if they are not brought under control. ADD and ADHD are still being studied indepth to determine the environmental factors that play just as much of a roll as the genetic factors...so although some medications have been found to be helpful in calming the inner "storm" of a child, I believe that there is an even stronger ability for these children to learn self control. Now let me explain: I am a University graduate, and while I was in school, a friend of mine took a particular interest in psychology (I too studied psychology but not to the same extent) and she found it very helpful in learning new methods of treatment for her Son's attention deficit disorder. Her Son, while he was very intelligent and capable of learning and comprehending, had a lot of trouble focusing on particular tasks such as being able to put his words on paper (he could tell you a story but if you asked him to write it he wasn't able to connect his words in a sentence). What my friend learned in psychology is that there are pathways in our brains that coincide with what and how we learn. She helped her Son to focus by teaching him about a control centre (a mental or visual focal point) in order to train the pathway of his brain that would allow him to turn thoughts into sentences. I struggle with the concept of medication with regard to my youngest brother because, not only does the medication alter his personality, but also it has given him an excuse. And I can say that because I have had several conversations with his mother who has told him over and over that he can't control himself...so it has become a self-fulfilling prophecy for him. He has not been given the opportunity to try and self-control, rather his mother has allowed him to believe that he is beyond help without his medication---and this is very upsetting to me. I have spent one-on-one time with my brother and have encouraged him as much as I can so that he understands that he is a normal kid that just happens to be more hyperactive than most. I am a teacher, so I am very aware that a lot of hyperactivity and lack of focus is due to children not being able to learn something the way it is being taught (there are three styles of learning: auditory, visual, and kinestetic) and also in many cases, children cannot focus because they simply cannot see (their motor skills are impaired because they need glasses) and this makes if very difficult for them to pay attention, let alone learn and absorb information. I do not discredit medicine because every person is different, so I believe that different methods need to exist as not every child will experience ADD or ADHD the same. I personally am an advocate for teaching self-control moreso than offering medication, because I believe that our bodies are very capable of self-healing. This process of course is one that would require TONS of patience and a good understanding of the psychology of the disorders, so that children can learn to trigger their control centres when they find themselves getting out of control or lacking in focus. I applaud every parent that has a child with ADD/ADHD, as I know that it is a long, difficult battle and your every waking moment is spent trying to help your child to fit into what society has deemed "normal" because somehow society forgets that DIFFERENT is a primary facet of humanity.

Rebekah - posted on 05/13/2009

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Heather,

Stick to your guns! My youngest stepson's mother fought in court to prevent him from being medicated. She lost! ( Didn't hurt that the judge has an ADHD child of his own but she didn't know that.)

Rebekah - posted on 05/13/2009

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Interesting to read all the posts on this site. I am proud of all of you for not only recognizing that there is a special problem but for being willing to address it for the well being of yourselves and your children. I had two stepson's who were both diagnosed with ADHD. Their dad also has it but refuses to take medication. He mistakenly thinks he has his ADHD under control. I can tell you I have done my fair share of research about this. My frustration came with trying to help the kids while the dad was uncooperative himself. Dad didn't sleep much and couldn't understand why I was so tired all the time. Duh, cause I don't have ADHD and lived with 3 people who did! I truly believe that if my ex-husband had been diagnosed and medicated properly long ago it would have improved our chances for a happy, stable marriage. I just couldn't ride the rollercoaster any more. Praise for trying to do the best for your kids and help them develop acceptable social skills!

Sylvia - posted on 05/13/2009

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ur mam is rite in what she said but it is tough going with them as adorable as they are the best thing i found with my son even to date and he is 20 they are the most loveable

caring kids my son was on ritalin till he was 14 then had to go on concertra it last up to 8hours but worked wonders for him he could sit and actualy listen and take in what i or his teachers were saying it was a decision i had to make b it a hard one but it worked for him im glad i done it hope all works out for your son and it will take care

Cari - posted on 05/13/2009

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My son who is going to be 5 in September wasjust diagnosed with ADHD and like you all said it's a roller coaster ride. He is on ritalin for 4 hrs, since he attends pre-k for 2 1/2 hours a day. The teachers have said that it helps him focus more and his impulsivity is less....the only thing is some afternoons are much more difficult and I don't want to put him on more meds if I don't have to. Has anyone ever noticed their child having a tougher week when it comes to the full moon? I also have some family members that don't believe that I am doing the right thing and that he even has ADHD.....well I would like for them to take him for a week and see what they say with his frustration level, rage, and constant moving, and anxiety. I wouldn't change him for the world...He's the most lovable, caring and happy, outgoing boy I know...I'm blessed.....A Quote from my mom, "God wouldn't give you what you can't handle", and I have to agree!

Christyne - posted on 05/13/2009

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my daughter 5 was just diagnosed last year and we are doing therapy first and then wait until she goes to school to see if she needs meds i want meds to be a last resort. but everyday is a stuggle and its nice to have a place where people understand and don't think i'm just a bad mother who can't control her kid.

Sylvia - posted on 05/13/2009

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hi sarah my brother had a cleft lip palate he waited till he was old enough to get opp. to improve it he is doing great now gave him great confindence

Sarah - posted on 05/13/2009

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Hi noticed your post my eldest has just been diagnosed on the autistic spectrum and has a cleft lip and palate and I agree with you. Its those who are poor ignorant of our situations. Awaiting further test think it may be aspergers.

Joanna - posted on 05/13/2009

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i feel for all of you , i have 4 children 12yrs ,9 yrs,3 yrs,1yrs 3girls and 1 boys which is my 1 yr old . my 9 yr old had to be resusated at birth 10 times she started to show signes of problems at 18 mths as her walking was delayed and also her speech and communication,when she did manged to walk she had a very wide gate she had to have lots of test done . she was diganosed with learning difficuities ,lordosis,lax ligaments disorder and aultism,a.d.d,a.d.h.d,e.b.d,they put it under global devepment as there are to many to menchon, inconate to which is has tablets for . she has been on them for many years and now she is 9 yrs and has challeging behaviour she in on ritalin 3 times a day. she attends a special school which she does enjoy. my oldiest has e.b.d too and can be hard to cope with sometimes . hope everyone enjoys there children as it can get tougher as they get older .

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2009

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Anyone else here can also feel free to find me on facebook! I believe one can never have too many friends! :)

Jennifer - posted on 05/12/2009

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I do have some help. My in-laws believe it or not are very helpful, but i'm told their daddy was just the same way so my mother in law understands. For the most part most of the people in our lives do try to help me but I have 1 sister-in-law, who is a new mom, who just thinks my kids are wild and out of control. Sylvia, can we be facebook friends? I would greatly appreciate making friends with people who have been there and understand! :)

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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Quoting Phyllis:

What bugs me most is logging on here and seeing conversations that consist of people ranting about how they would NEVER use a child leash, or how their pet peeve is parents who cant control their child in public etc. You can bet your buns that most of these people dont have to deal with kids who are off the walls, have serious impulse control issues and only sleep 3 hours a night. My son is severe ADHD/ODD. He sleeps 3 hours per night and sometimes stays awake for up to 30 solid hours before he can wind down enough to sleep. We are working with different meds to try to help him AND our family as a whole. Because no one is sleeping and we are all worn down to tears!


 

Melanie - posted on 05/11/2009

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I was told my 7 year old had ADD when he started K his teacher told me we needed to find out what was wrong with him.Which made me feel like he was being treated like an outsider.She actually told me that one time she stood him up in class and let the other kids judge him on how he was that day.Don't think she really meant to tell me that but she did.So we started one med after seeing a phycoligist and he lost 7 lbs and grew 2 inches.Now we're on the third kind and I think he has already developed a eating disorder.Me and my husband don't like it but see he does need some med's to help him focus at school but don't like to see him on it.He's not so friendly and wants to be alone.He's so loving when not on it worry he want have any friends at school because thats when he doesn't want to have anything to do with other kids.

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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WOW! I got to move around or I'll sit here all day making replies!!!! everyone have a wonderful day!!!

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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I know its hard, and I have to feel for you. I have a girlfriend that has a son like that. I stayed with her for a couple of months and becuz I'm ADHD I don't sleep really good @ night. I would stay up @ night to keep my eye on him just to know he was sleeping b4 I fell asleep. Its one thing if you have it, and its so easy to pick it up in another. I"m extremely restless. but I'm also moving all the time, unless I'm on my computer...but as you can see, I can be on here for hours!!!! These kids need to be worked with, and shown how to direct all this energy, thats when they start to grow the way you want them! Good job!!!!

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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Have you noticed the ones that have ADHD are really talented? They are drawn to things that are dangerous cuz they are learning. Give them projects of building things, tearing things apart, drawing, actions that keep their hands busy and their minds too. I think you've got the right idea...keep it up and just see how smart they are!!!

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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I can't tell you how many , fathers, and it seems thats who I've always heard that comment out of...more structure, more discipline, and all that extra garbage. I wish for one day those ppl had it and knew how if feels. It don't make us BAD ppl, I like to think of it as having a special gift if we learn how to control it. There are different meds out there, and some are even non-narcatic; not to mention, they are coming out with all kinds of new ones. All of our bodies are different and its alot of trial and error till we get the right combination. Thank God your brother had you to help him...all you can do is feel sorry for your Dad! Keep up the good work!!!

Betti - posted on 05/11/2009

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I don't know, but the funny thing is most ppl don't understand about being ADHD. Many of my grandkids have it, 3 out of 4 of us girls have it, and some of our kids have it. I think that says it is hereditary. Some get it really bad, bouncing off the walls, and I've seen it not so bad! I think what bothers me the most is ppl have the misconception the meds react the opposite on ppl that are ADHD. I've corrected more ppl about that; Speed is speed, the only difference is, if you have ADHD it causes us to focus...its still a speed. The worst part, too many teachers fall back that a restless child is ADHD and alot of time they are not. Parents know if their child has it. No days, and I say that literally, kids that DO have it can get on the right meds and chances are they will go somewhere in life. NOt like back when I was a kids, and the ones that had it were just troublemakers, and would never make anything of themselves. I didn't get on the right meds till I was an adult, I AM a much better person now and I really feel alot better about myself. I like this topic cuz so many ppl just don't understand.

[deleted account]

Well I can't compare that much. I have my brother, 13, living with us. He was diagnosed ADHD when he was very little, I think he was 4-5. They gave him medication and it made him a zombi and gave him horrible nightmares. Our father (who is worthless, point reason why I have my brother) refused to try anything else. Our father also refused to work with him and has convinced him that no medication will help they are all the same. Now I have him and its a battle. Helping with his homework, doing work in the class room, concentrating on anything! My husband didn't believe he had it, that he just needed structure and discipline, which he did don't get me wrong, but I think he is slowly changing his mind. Just playing Yahtzee the other night was a challenge for us 3 to play together.
Power to ALL parents that work with their children and do what it takes to get them the help they need. I want to keep trying with out medications and see how it goes. He went from failing in school to As and Bs with us, so I am hoping with the extra help we give it works. He is a teenager so the energy is up there!

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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PLUS U ARE RITE LET PARENTS WHO DONT HAVE KIDS WITH ADD/ADHD MIND ONE FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AND THEN TELL US WE ARE DOING IT JUST TO SHUT THEM UP

Jennifer - posted on 05/11/2009

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Amen to that! I have 3 very rambunctious boys ages 4, 2, and 1. My oldest has Sensory Processing Disorder and I also believe he has ADD, although I have yet to get that confirmed. My 2 year old seems to be showing signs of ADHD. He is sooooo much more "active" than my 4 year old. They are constantly all over the place, especially it seems when we go to someone's house or just out in public. I'm constantly telling NO about the same exact things all day long, and they just go right back to what I tell them no about. When we are around other people who seem to not understand anything at all I get looks, and sometimes comments and I can just tell what they are thinking. I am sure they are thinking I am the problem and I just can't get my kids under control. It's enough when it's on your own conscience all day long, wondering how you can do things differently for the kids to where they will understand and behave better, and especially because they always seem to flock to all things dangerous! We worry every single day about their behavior, but above all their safety! It would be nice if people would just try to understand what one day is like in dealing with these children we still see as blessings no matter how difficult they are!

Heather - posted on 05/11/2009

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same here. His dad thinks he is just wild and has a lot of energy. He was diagnosed with aspergers and ADHD. He OCD is getting bad and so was his bevavior at school. And if i wouldn't have did what i did my son would most likely have been picked on non stop on top of being kicked out of school.

Sylvia - posted on 05/11/2009

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ITS TOUGH GOING BUT WORTH IT THEY ARE A JOY NO MATTER WHAT MY SON IS 20 HIS DAD STILL THINKS HE IS JUST WILD

Heather - posted on 05/11/2009

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I am on the same boat. My ex still thinks our son is a typical six year old. This is after three doctors came up with the same diagnose and did numerous testing and sitting in classrooms evaluating him. i on the other hand gave up my job to go to all these doctors and appointments cause my son was suffering big time.

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