ADHD....?

Laura - posted on 09/23/2009 ( 104 moms have responded )

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Hi mom's...I have 2 boys who are 6 and 3. My 6 year old is in first grade. He is very, very smart. Reads, spells and does his work in a higher level than his grade. Problem: Behavior. He wanders the room and makes umteen bathroom trips, talks out of turn etc.... Just had conference with his teacher (a wonderful woman!) and the add/adhd issue came up.He is not defiant or rude or mean but his behavior is becoming a real problem. My husband, myself and his teacher are starting the paper work to have him tested but I know I am not alone in this situation and would LOVE some advice/stories about any of your kids who have this same disorder. He has not been diagnosed yet but it seems to be going that way and any advice, words of wisdom or reward systems that have worked for any of your kids would be much appreciated!
Thanks!
Laura Swarts

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Traci - posted on 10/01/2009

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Hi Nic, thanks for your response. If it were me I would take him to either a child psychiatrist or a child neurologist. My son too is borderline in the autism spectrum, but is more adhd than anything, so I took him to a child psychaitrist, who is also a friend of mine as well.. I know alot of people are against medication, but I have worked in the field for 25 years and my thought is, if your child had diabetes would you not give him insulin? You give my kid adhd meds - most are stimulant based, some are not, he gets both and within 15 minutes there is a marked difference in his ability to concentrate that he even notices the difference. But you are his mother and only you can decide what is the best course of treatment for your son. My son is great now and is on a very low dose and because I started early, we have a better chance of him not needing medication later on. But if he does need it, we will provide it. Good luck, let me know how it goes, If you are in St. Louis I can give you recommendations.Thanks, Traci.

Carolyn - posted on 10/11/2009

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My son was the same way and now he is in college. I found that if they are truly ADHD if you give them a caffeinated soft drink it calms them down. I know that that sounds crazy but it works. Some time it would put him right to sleep. I was totally against drugs while he was growing up and had a teacher walk out on a meeting with the principal, therapist, and I. He now does take a low dose of Streira to help him focus because he can't a ford to fall asleep in class. He is incredibly smart and has read every book in our house, loves music and is incredibly kind. Just has a hard time sitting still, ( his legs quiver now when he doesn't take something) and has a hard time focusing on things that don't interest him.

Christina - posted on 10/08/2009

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with my son we use an herbel pill okayed by his Dr. it is called sea buddies its call focus and concentration formula it seems to keep him from wandering and rambling on so much he is so much better behaved and since he is not wandering and rambling and babbling he spends more time concertrating. Our only problem is that the store where we get the herbel capsel type pill is always sold out lately and we are currently out of it. I am considering buying it from the internet and stocking up on it. Since it is not readily available at most stores only some herble stores

Dianne - posted on 10/01/2009

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My son is now 20 years old. He was diagnosed with ADD when he was in kindergarten. I had a hell of a time teaching him his colors, alphabet, etc. He was just not consistent. I thought he was doing these things on purpose and other behaviors that just was'nt "normal". He went through all the physc testing and other testing, and was finally diagnosed as ADD.. The best advice I can give, is to make sure that all through his school years he is evaluated every year and is put in special classes or class, as the case may be. Work with him at home and have lots of patience. We used the sticker reward system which seemed to work. It seemed the hardest thing we faced, was trying to get him to realize that he can do something, just another way, and that when the kids say mean things, to remember all the neat things he can do that others cant. I find that they have a special gift for finding something that they are very very good at. They have to do it by seeing, doing, watching, etc. The memory part is not there. Hope this helps. Dianne

BranDee - posted on 10/01/2009

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I have a 12 yr old with ADHD. We have been through it all. We had a different situation it sounds like. Our son had difficulty paying attention, sitting still, DISTRACTIONS!, and so on at home, at school, everywhere. So he had trouble learning because of this behavior. As I read on one of the post, it is important to note if he is having the behavior in all situations. If it is just at school, I would suspect he is bored, sounds like he isn't having any problems learning, which is great. I would definitely get him tested. This isn't always definitive but it has very useful information. If he does have ADHD: Things that I have found that work are consistency (changes in the schedule are not good), not expecting less of him (no excuses for his behavior), grounding (timeout when he was younger), and reminders (he has a dry erase board in his room for this). He has been tested several times, we have tried diets, and medications. He is on Ritalin now and it is helping him the diets and other stuff didn't help. I hope this helps.

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Kendra - posted on 01/27/2012

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I am a 43 year old Mom that just got diagnosed with ADHD. My first time I was kicked out of school, I was in 4th grade. The last time, I was a senior and had to go to public school in an area where public schools were not safe or acceptable. I work but I have always had to work in Outside Individual Contributor Sales Positions which I do very well in. However, I do not do well in recording all of my efforts. In college I struggled with alcohol and my choices were not always wise. My point is my NON TREATMENT of this "special diagnosis" has caused me a lot of pain and suffering amongst my years. This past year my dad died and I went to see a Psychiatrist. Immediately, he tested me and I scored 100% of positive for ADHD. The first thing he said is WOW you have this and you hold a job, are a Mom of two boys and you get it done somehow. (probably not as neatly packaged as everyone thinks) Secondly, I now am treated. I can understand not wanting to put your child on drugs at a young age but please don't not treat your children with something that is easily treated and may save them from many heartaches in the future. I went through a few regimen's of drugs to find the best fit. Nothing is perfect but I am on Intuniv - makes you tired mixed with Adderol which does not speed me up as I am ADHD so it just helps me. I now can focus, make conference calls, remember the days for swimming, basketball practice and games, and I have a much better filter in public settings. This was a problem within my careers. My depression is gone as I am now feeling really good about what I have achieved under the circumstances. My relationship with my husband is getting better as I remember him. :) Also, I do have to give a shout out to Apple as I thank goodness for the iPhone which keeps all of my calendars in one and keeps me on track for all of the appointments and show and tells, etc. If you are sure your child has ADHD and it is pretty clear with hyperactivity, remembering things, focus, than I suggest, this. Protein Protein Protein, therapy and medicinal treatment if warranted, and lots of physical play plus yoga for settling down. There is an app for yoga which my children and I do some evenings and we have fun. No need to suffer when there is treatment.



BTW - My house is still a total mess - but now I realize it!



Kknowshow

CJ - posted on 10/15/2009

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We as single moms try to work and parent at the same time it is hard . Kid lack attention that we think we give them. Schools love to play Dr. Sometime conseling with the child or if the child is comfortable alne i a greawt start. you know your child and sometimes you may see what others don;t. I gave my son lessons at home to prepare hm for school. his issues were he needed etra help in understanding. I had used drugs on my oldest nd could not I seen him comotose and it was not right he gtaduated with his class. My youngest has a ed plan and is graduating next year on time. No drugs just smaller class setting nd attention to his needs.Please id your overwelmed by the report seen professional help start by listening and talking to your child they know.

Joann - posted on 10/14/2009

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Maybe he's bored. The work may be too easy for him so he's easily distracted. I would have him tested, although, it's not cheap. Get a full study and then begin to see what his needs might be. Hang in there!

Diane - posted on 10/14/2009

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Having his tested is the best thing you can do for him. My daughter had the same problems. Once tested and appropriate medication she is now on the right track. She is very active in karate and will remain in this activity if she does good in school which helps her. Need to find something that he really enjoys such as swimming, music, karate, soccer, etc. this will help him. Be very patient, he will be alright.

Stacy - posted on 10/14/2009

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My 11 year old is adhd, he was diagnosed in the 2nd. grade, he choked a girl for looking at him wrong. Just because your son is talking and making frequint trips to the rest room, doesn't mean he has adhd. You did say he is doing work beound his grade level, maybe he is just bored. There is a type off test that your son can take, to see if maybe he just needs to be in a type of advanced learning class. I would only have him tested for adhd if you find that it isn't that he is bored, but a little hyper.

Dawn - posted on 10/14/2009

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My son is 5 and is in Kindagarden this year. Daycare in the past has always said how "bad" he is on a daily basis by not listening, but I never really listened to them. Then all in the past month I have had couple phone calls from his K-Teacher he has peed in his own hair (yeah figure that one out!!) colored on the art room carpet, touching the walls and pushing other kids to get in line first, and has the energy of like ten kids in one! Then phone calls from bus driver: he doesnt sit still, stands in his seat, crawls under his seat, has been in 2 hitting fights with other boys, and will be kicked off bus soon if behavior doesnt improve. Then the ymca swim class, he doesnt listen, swims around instead of doing what he is suppose to do. So I took him to doc, who says he has minor adhd according to one paper I filled out from Vanderbilt. I have the meds but have been too scared to try them. We havent even tried therapy yet or anything else. I am a single momma with a 4 yr old girl, and Xavier-- my 5 yr old boy, and in school full time/ work part time, and I have no energy left whatsoever. I dont want to just give up and do the meds, but that is where I am headed.

Janet - posted on 10/14/2009

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okay, my son is now 9 years old. We too have a behavior problem. Like your son, he is considerate to others, has higher levels academically in class. He was diagnosed 4 years ago with adhd, how ever in our last visit to the therapist, they told us he has Aspergers Syndrome. Do alot of research, diet is one thing to change, therapy in and out of school helps too.

CJ - posted on 10/14/2009

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Some time it is not adhd sometimes it is just to fast in class. or a child needs extraw help and is not given it or ignored. I have 2 sons one i HEARD WAS ADHD AND FOLLOWED THE SCHOOL THE OTHER I HAD TESTED AND HE WAS SLOW AT GRASPING THINGS AND THE TEACHERS DID NOT UNDERSTAND/ They tried to blame it one add and all I went to the sc hool phy and they said it was then i went to boston took hours of test awnd found out that he was not grasping everything. i GOT HIM AN ED PLAN AND HE IS GRADUATING NEXT YEAR. sorry for the caps but i hate to retype

[deleted account]

Try picture scheduling. He has a visual reminder taped to his desk--"telling" him what and where he should be. Maybe a silent timer (the school special ed. department probably has several), he could look at the timer and before the red is gone he needs to have "what-ever" done, then he can go to the bathroom (color, etc.).

Put visual schedules everywhere--the bathroom door (flush, wash hands, turn off light); his lunch box (eat, clean-up, out for recess); the back of the seat where he sits in the car (seat belt...).

I had an unmedicated AD/HD student in my classroom last year, and low stimuli (I know...how in a classroom?), simple reminders, non-verbal cues, and non response to his unnec chatter, really seemed to make a difference. By the end of the year he did not exhibit many of his initial AD/HD tendencies.

Lyndsay - posted on 10/11/2009

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Also, I would like to add that I strongly object to medicating children. There are many other options out there.

Lyndsay - posted on 10/11/2009

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I'm a child and youth worker and I see a lot of ADHD kids, and I tend to suspect that my own son may have it as well. You will not get a formal diagnosis by a doctor unless it seems to be affecting his functioning in some way, such as with school work or interpersonal relationships, that kind of thing.

Some suggestions I have for working with ADHD kids are this. First of all, break everything down into smaller steps. Don't say, "We're going to go to the mall to pick out shoes, then get some lunch, then drive to grandma's to help her clean out the garage, etc." Let them know what you expect at each step, and reward them after each step is completed. Rewards can be as simple as a hug or praise, for example my son is 2 and when he is well behaved I say something like "You are being such a good boy today" or "Very good listening ears" like every 20 minutes.

Secondly, please keep in mind that ADHD children are not being defiant because they feel like being little pricks. They are just struggling with your expectations of them. With your son, he is probably not intending to disrupt the classroom by wandering around, he just can not sit still for that long. If this is the case then maybe you can strike up some sort of deal with his teacher, where she will call on him to hand out papers whenever necessary, or things like that to meet his activity needs in a more positive way.

Julie - posted on 10/10/2009

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Hi Laura,



My son was diagnosed with ADHD and then 6 months later they told me ADD as well. He is 9 now but was diagnosed with it about 3 years ago. He just about drove me nuts. I couldn't get him to sit down and read or do him home work. I fought with him consitantly. But now since he is on Adderall, he is doing great. He acts like he wants to be in school and really tries. The only advice I can give you is be there for him and give him lots of love and understanding. Right now he is probably just a scared little boy trying to figure out what is going on. Good luck.

Cortney - posted on 10/10/2009

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Hey Laura, we have a 9 yr old daughter who was diagnosed with severe acute ADHD 1 1/2 yrs ago...she couldn't sit still for 2 seconds or focus in school, couldn't get along with other kids and it seemed hopeless...we now take her weekly to a behavior therapist who works with her and we do medicate with Adderall..we were hesistant about the Adderall at first but it has worked unbelievably for us...it is not time released only works for a couple hours after taken...it does not turn her into a zombie an so far there are no major side effects except appetite problems...so far so good...good luck, it really isn't fun to deal with but with alot of love and understanding, you will persevere..

Jennifer - posted on 10/10/2009

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over the counter omega 3 chews from walgreens, or your local pharmacy. they are a great over the counter aide. and taste like candy.

[deleted account]

Hi Laura,



My oldest son also very smart (Now in college taking computer engineering) same situation when he was in second grade. His teacher at the time brought up the ADD/ADHD to have him tested. We were going to have him tested until we found out that half her class was ADHD & she was on the board that decided if they needed to be tested. My husband & I decided that he was bored & not challenge enough so we opt out of the testing. Although, he showed some ADHD behaviors, he was never diagnosed with it and he continues to be successful in college. (top of his class) Since, he is so smart he may be doing the behaviors out of boredom. Hope this helps & Good luck.

Karen - posted on 10/10/2009

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I have a son with ADD who is now 12, but was not diagnosed until last year. Instead of giving any advice I will recommend a GREAT book on the subject: "Healing ADD" by Dr. Daniel Amen (this also applies to ADHD). He also has a website - http://www.amenclinics.com He really helps the reader to understand the scientific aspect of what is occuring in your child's brain, and offers many solutions including medication, diet, herbal solutions, and exercise. You can also do an assessment test on his website. After doing research on my son, I ended up realizing that I also have ADD and have probably always had it, but it can manifest itself in different ways.



Much luck to you in your search,

Karen Molenda

Demetra - posted on 10/10/2009

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Boy do I have some feedback on this one. My biggest advice to you is to be an advocate for your kid. I do not think that a school or teacher is qualified to diagnose a child with ADHD. The other issue is that there arevery few things the doctor can do to diagnose them. They normally go by a questionare the have completed by the parents, teacher and maybe a babysitter or someone. My real problem is whne it does get disagnose the poblic school really is not equipped to give them what they need which in most caeses is a smaller general education classroom. Then they push and push for the medication side. the gola is to medicate the child so the teacher does not have to deal with it. This is a nightmare and be prepared that there are horrible side affects to ALL of the medications and it is sometimes a long term battle trying to find the one that your child can take with no side affects but that works for hi/her. Then there is the who dosage thing to deal with.

Else - posted on 10/10/2009

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Hi, my son is 15 and his diagnosed with ADHD at age 7. At school it was every year the same problem , he was talking to much in class desturbed the class but even so his results was medium. At the age of twelve we did more test also IQ and that showed has that he was genius at lots of tests but that his concetration makes it very difficult for him in school.
The following next 2 years in school was a disaster! He always had to stand outside the classroom get to stay later as a punichment... At that time he was so down i was very worried about him. He posted songs on his facebook with very dark messages about that live had no meaning, that nobody undertsands him. As a mother that was very hard to see your son that unhappy with himself. I changed schools an know he gets respect from the teachers because they understand his problem and that makes it a lot easyer for him to the best he can to behave in class, and when it gets harder the teachers help him not send him outside. Understanding is a big thing for these childeren. I took a class to learn how to "parent" a teenager with ADH and a learned a lot from that.
Know he his a happy teenager and the days he gets down he knows we understand him are we try to understand him and that gifs him comfort, so he will feel better soon.
ps.Sorry for my writting i'm dutch.
greets,
Else

Ursula - posted on 10/10/2009

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Hi, Laura!



I have a daughter who's 11 now and in 6th grade with similar behavioral problem. Her condition was first diagnosed as ADD, but upon second and third opinions of different psychiatrists, they concurred that what she had is Asperger syndrome which has the similar symptoms as ADD. As with ADD, it is important to give the child omega 3 rich diet or supplement as it has calming effect and somehow helps the kids to concentrate better. Also try to avoid giving your son caffeinated and high sugary drinks and food. Those foods and drinks will increase their restlessness and become more hyper. I hope this will help...

[deleted account]

I'm on #2. Each one is different. What works for one might not work fof the other. You will just need to be patient and try different things. A good doctor will help w/many different ideas. The teacher(s) come up with some as well. My youngest was diagnoised in spring of 3rd grade. He's an A, B, C student. Before..he struggled. Best wishes...just remember, it will be trying,furstrating but he can't help it...it's the wiring

Trish - posted on 10/09/2009

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It's easy for people that do not have children properly diagnosed with ADHD to discount that it's even real and this is a huge pet peeve of mine. I totally denied that my kid could even have it until it slapped me in the face when his teacher, school counselor, pediatrician and psychologist said that "um yes he has it" and even then I still tried to talk myself out of it. The fact is that just 3-5% of children are diagnosed which is really under the number of children that actually do have it (which is more like 10-15%) and aren't diagnosed because society doesn't believe it's real. It is heart breaking enough to receive the news that you are confronted with a child that is going to constantly struggle with academics, family relationships and his social life, but to have people that don't have a clue interject their advice that putting children on meds or saying that ADHD is over diagnosed is just another punch in the gut. Please, please educate yourself before speaking out on such a sensitive and important issue. If you take care of your children properly, with or without the meds, in order to make your child as successful as possible, you are doing the right thing.....for everyone involved. Work with the teachers, school counselors, pediatricians (preferrably one that specializes in the disorder) and a psychologist/psychiatrist and do what works for you - which quite frankly is different for everyone. Denying that it's real or that they have it, is just not doing you or your child any justice. ~ From a well-educated mother of a child who has been diagnosed and living with ADHD ~

Vickie - posted on 10/09/2009

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Laura, once you have your child tested for ADHD & when he is put on meds, do not let the teachers or members of the school board bully you into having the dosage increased after a year or less. Many teachers would love to have a classroom filled with little zombies.



Also, stay away from Ritalin at all costs. Ritalin does more damage than good. There are a few very good meds out there for ADHD but Ritalin is not one of them.



Behaviour modification will also help.

Michelle - posted on 10/08/2009

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I have an 11 yo son who was diagnosed at 5 as ADHD and i listened to the doctors and all professionals who told me that to medicate him would be for the best....I know ask best for who. I know it was not in the best interest of my son...After having him on meds for 5 years i took him off them. He has now grown at least 3inches and gained over 10 kilos in 12 months..

I know it is a personal view on whether to or not but try EVERY avenue before being told that is the best thing to do for him....

Gizella - posted on 10/08/2009

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Quoting jean:

Your Son sounds like a very smart little boy above the average bear. Sounds like the teacher is not doing her job I am sure she is a good teacher with her students that are not as smart but when a little boy is over the top he is hungry to learn and that puts more work on the school short of it all he is BORD WITH THEM.



I agree with Jean, 



I have a 10 year old daughter who was very difficult to handle and her teachers wanted her put on medication at 3.  I needless to say did not agree and made them put her up a grade and give her extra to do.  When she was ready to go to 1st grade we found a school with small classes where she could get individual attention.  This has worked for us.  In my experiance I have found of late that it is easier to presume a child is ADHD, when they are a little difficult to handle, instead of trying to find other ways to solve the problem.  I unfortunately also think the the teaching profession in general have become very lazy.  There are the few exceptions out there and thank the lord for them or my child would probably be one of the drugged out masses of children that we now have going through our schools.  I, from personal experiance would try to find any other alternative even if the tests come back positive and I would go for a second, third and even a fourth opinion before I put my child on drugs.  So research diet, alternative/natural supplements, excercise

Annette - posted on 10/08/2009

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Make sure that you have him tested outside the school. Make sure you're going to a psychologist. When my son was tested by the school they said he didn't have ADHD but I took him to a specialist. The tests the school gives is not adequate.

Lora - posted on 10/08/2009

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I completely agree with Carol. My son, age 14 was diagnosed in 3rd grade. He is very common sense smart and is extremely in tune with EVERYTHING going on around him. He gets agitated very easily from too much stimulus. He also has always been a behavior problem, not necessarily at home, but at school. Mostly talking out, being sarcastic with the teacher, etc...We tried every med, natural remedy and nothing works without horrible side effects for him. He is just a very sensitive child. So, at this point, we have a 504 plan to help academically; but I have learned through his psychologist that the sarcastic, disrespectful behavior IS something he can control, so I would say make sure you keep a lid on this. For my son everything needs to be black or white, no gray. Gray confuses him and then he doesn't know boundaries. STRUCTURE is KEY! For mine the more rigid, the better he behaves. As an 8th grader there are some very structured teachers who have no problems with him all year, and others who run their classes a little more flexibly are where we get into trouble. Just put things into perspective: God DID make our children perfectly the way he wanted. He made US the PERFECT PARENT for that child. Someday, our kids will be very successful doing something they love that fits perfect with ADHD.

Barbara - posted on 10/07/2009

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Hi Laura: Good news....ADHD children are the adventurers of the world. I used to tell my son (who is now 28) that he was like Columbus – when he would do one of those “no fear” things – I would say just look at Christopher Columbus – who else would sail off thinking that the world wasn’t flat –



Our journey involved a private evaluation – we placed him in the public school system because of the funding they have for special education – and he was on Ritalin. My pediatrician (who was a good friend) advised using medication, which I am forever thankful for. It was not a cure all, but it gave his brain the opportunity to “slow down.” He used to tell me that he felt as though he was always running a marathon.



The main and most important part of helping your child with this disorder is educating your school. Kids need to sit in the front of the class with as little distraction as possible – ADHD kids usually have a “better ear” left or right – have that better side closest to the teacher – have the teacher had out written instructions along with her/his oral ones. See if your child can take oral spelling tests instead of written ones. See if they will allow extra time. These kids have a very hard time copying things from the board. That takes a lot of different motor skills. Looking up – remembering what to write – then getting it on paper – sometimes they need extra time.



ADHD kids also have a HUGE problem with phonics – they flip p’s and d’s and usually cannot sound things out phonicially – I would have a picture of a cat – then show the word cat spelled out – then sound it out phonically KA AT….once they get it they get it…More advise – be at school as much as you can – be involved – I was a single working mom until my son was 10 but managed to get to school as much as possible.



Try to find their “gifts” early and hone in on those – my son loved music and drawing – in 6th grade he picked up a pair of drum sticks and played the drums by ear….sorry I could go on and on…..the success for my son has been – high school graduation with honors and with a scholarship to college – finishing college in 4 years – making the dean’s list once – and has a wonderful job working in the medical field…..



Just love them when they’re good and never never tell them they’re bad……they just have a hard time stopping once they get going…kinda like a bike without brakes...One last thing go to the www.addwarehouse.com and see if they still have the video called

1 2 3 magic……it really works…..take care….Barbie

Kim - posted on 10/07/2009

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Quoting Laura:

Thank you ladies for the info/advice.... We are working on reward charts at home because we do notice this behavior at home. Also his teacher is giving him little rewards in school for little victories like finishing morning work with minimal distractions. We are also changing his diet and I am researching different vitimain supplements to give him, we use spiderman gummies now. We are also checking into sleeping issues as he has had unusual sleep pattens, sleep walking and repetetive kicking in his sleep( and still bedwetting almost every night). All factors that we are trying to add up and the teacher is getting the testing ball rolling at school. Just going to keep being a posative influence in his life and reminding him how proud we are and how much we love him.


Laura,



I think you are on the right track with the supplements, reward charts and lots of love.  I have lots of info on Kid's health and ADHD- if you'd like, PM me and I'll send you the research I've found.



 



Also, having been a former teacher of many behavior problem children- THANK YOU FOR BEING INVOLVED AND PROACTIVE!!!



 



-Kim



 

Lori - posted on 10/07/2009

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Hello my son has ADHD and is 12. He was diagnosed at age 7. He was not a behavior problem and was very quiet. His wandering occured in his mind. The teacher would teach and he would be thinking about how the Titanic sank. He did ok in school but never excelled. We tried behavior therapy first but eventually did put him on medications. Check out the ADDITUDE magazine and website or CHADD website. They are full of info.

Ricki - posted on 10/07/2009

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I agree about never stifling the creativity. My oldest son was diagnosed with ADHD and put on rittalin which almost 12 years latter he wrote a song about the misery it caused him and as a mom you might want to take a listen to the words of it www.myspace.com/skatteredunion because when I read the song I cried my eyes out for allowing the doctors to put him on it to begin with. That being said let me tell you a few things about our journey between his 1st grade year and 19 years later (which is how old he is now). The first thing I did after we went to the doctor and got a diagnosis of this ADHD is take him to a psychologist and have him truly tested by a doctor who can actually give him the appropriate tests, they also gave him a IQ test and that is when we first found out he was above genius level on many of the areas he was tested and at genius level on ALL of them. We also gained a new level of respect for his behavior and found out it was not him that was actually misbehaving but the teacher. She was the one who was having our child sit outside the door of the class to stop him from answering questions without raising his hand and making him miss every field trip for the entire year because he talked too much and might interrupt the other students learning ability and even tried to have him paddled for dropping his pencil in class. I was a young parent at the time and did not stand up to his teacher until the day she told me she knew my son better than I did, that being said I took my son home and home schooled him from that day forward. He graduated at 16 and is a very brilliant person but his experience has totally changed him and left scars even from that young of an age that can't be erased. His being singled out made him feel like an outcast. Now all that being said here are two other things to consider the first is every class gets an extra $10,000.00 for each child that is diagnosed with ADHD or ADD to supplement the cost for the extra education and extra effort that is needed to deal with that particular child. Secondly it is a scientifically proven fact that the food our children eat has a direct effect on their behavior, foods high in starch and additives are particularly bad for children with ADHD and ADD and will contribute to their restless behavior. If you take a trip down to your sons school cafeteria you will I am positive find the worse food you have ever eaten in your life both health and taste wise. They are fed the cheapest bottom of the barrel food that the school can find because that is all they can afford due to lack of school funding and lack parental awareness. You would never feed them a TV dinner every night of the week yet they are eating much worse at school each day. Packing a lunch full of healthy food and taking away prepackaged snacks will help tremendously with his behavior I can promise you there will be a big difference at home and school. This also means no McDonalds etc at home, no cokes or high sugar drinks. It is a big lifestyle change but well worth the outcome. I want to add to all this that I was a teacher myself and have walked both side of the fence here and you will in the end make your own choices. If you choose to medicate your child in the end what are you really telling him? That a drug will help make his life better? Now ask yourself what you really want to teach him; to take medication to make his life better or to make lifestyle changes in order to make his life better? In the end you will find that the medication will not help, the school needs to meet your sons needs and it sounds like they are trying to do so now. I hope for the best for you and your son and I hope you won't make the same mistakes I made as a young mom.

Kim - posted on 10/06/2009

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ive been where you are now and no doubt you and your husband got abit of a shock to be told we think he may have adhd my daughters 11yrs old now and i do not forget back when she was 6yrs and what we went through its not an easy journey believe you me you have to be strong if anyone tells you it gets better there lieing you learn to cope. My daughters exactly like your son very intelligent very bad behaviour but she also has aspergers syndrome. My daughter was medicated for a while untill her weight became dangerously low so we stopped and i actually manage her better now with no medication than when she was medicated she was a walking sombe i would use meds as a last resort look at what his eating with my daughter the things that set her of were pink wafers some crisps orange drink but believe it or not my children would get a treat at the weekend diet coke which had no affect on her what so ever. Most mums will look at sweets for starters does he like sweets does he eat alot of them if so cut them down keep yourself a diary telling you what foods your left out for that day and was there a change for the good in his behavior or not. With my daughter i dont know about your son but the food she will eat is very limited she never wants to try anything that she is not familliar with. we had a good behavior chart going for a long time it does work but you and your husband have to be strong no weak link (like i was to start with i felt sorry for her) i toughened up if your child is diagnosed with adhd then routine be strong and the one thing i had to cut down with was play stations psp all game consules what is his sleep pattern like is that good is he up half the night not being able to shut of if so invest in the mood stone its brillient its like a lamp but shaped like the stone and it changes colours. Decide what time you want him to go to bed and turn the mood stone on and not the tv to keep him in bed.

theres lots more i could say but it would take forever to talk about my journey with my daughter but i do wish you well

Kim Brame

Loretta - posted on 10/05/2009

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I've raised 2 girls who are now beautiful teenagers. They were very active as young children and some people suggested medication, but I just think some children--and some boys especially--are not meant to sit in a classroom setting all day. I ended up homeschooling my girls through elementary school so they wouldn't develop an image of themselves as "bad". When they started public school in middle school, they had no problems whatsoever and have always had great relationships with their teachers and peers and been in honors and AP classes. So glad I let them stay home and be active when they needed to be.

Michele - posted on 10/04/2009

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DON'T PAY A DIME OUT FOR TESTING YOU CAN ONLINE TEST! NO DRUGS APPROUCE WORKS!!! I HAVE READ THE BEST BOOK OF MY LIFE FOR MY SON.

3STEPSADD.COM SPECIFIC, EASY WAYS TO TAKE BACK CONTROL FOR CHILDREN AND ADULTS. :)

Michele - posted on 10/04/2009

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It's not the sugar. READ www.stepsADD.com explains ADD and ADHD and helps conquering it! BEST BOOK I EVER READ HAVE HUSBAND READ IT TOO!

Michele - posted on 10/04/2009

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This is what changed my life with my ADHA son.. www.3stepsadd.com

3 Steps to conquering ADD-ADHD by Jon Bennett.{for children and adults}

I so recommend this book to everyone who has ADD and ADHD children.

LISA - posted on 10/03/2009

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I have a 12 yr old who was diagnosed in 2nd grade. He has been on Medidate CD and Focalin and it has kep him on the A-B Honor roll. He was the type who was always into something but his attention wasnt being kept..he was getting bored easily. These are eally smart kids but patience is the key..

Sherry - posted on 10/03/2009

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He's bored. The teacher should maybe use him as a helper in the classroom since he's most likely finishing his work before other students. I had a similar situation with my son. Don't look at it as a disorder (negative). He is very smart and you said he's works in a higher level than his grade. You may want to see if he can be tested to maybe move to the next level. My son is a year ahead and is doing great in his classes. Your son needs more challenge. Also, another suggestion I gave the teacher is could you give him from time to time advance work to do if he completes his assignments before the others. He's simply not challenged enough - possibly. Good Luck. Also, you may want to get him into some after school activities (team soccer, basketball, art)

Sheleenya - posted on 10/02/2009

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Give the ADD option some time. Yor son is still developing and may just be immature and hyper. Are there ever times that he's calm, such as when watching a favorite mavie or something. I just think you should withhold the labels and the medication if they go there because you could hinder his growth by "slowing him down"

Katrina - posted on 10/02/2009

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i think the answer lies in your question. he is above average... he is board. when i was in kindergarten and 1st grade i would do my papers with letters the right way and backwards- they wanted to test me for dislexia. but then my mom just asked me why i did it and i said cuz i was board. i would finish my work before the others and had nothing to do, so i'd do it again only backwards. i'm gald my mom asked me and didn't just put me in remedial or spec. ed. classes. now i am a homeschool mom. my 3 year old reads, not cuz i'm a great teacher but because that's when he was ready to read. i know it won't be like that with all my kids cuz kids are not cows they are individuals. and as hard as the school sytem tries they are no match for one on one with your mama. "no child left behind" can best be accomplished by homeschooling. plus he can go potty as many times as he wants with out being a distraction to the "class".

Katie - posted on 10/02/2009

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My son, 8yo, has a similar issue. We homeschool, so I see the distractions, ect... We changed his diet (no artificlal colors...they actually triggered hyperactivity!), fish oil, all natural almost all the time. I changed the way we do school- I keep him challenged, let him choose what topics to read about for reading, we do math standing up rather than sitting in a chair, etc... He's very bright, like your little guy.

I am adamantly opposed to medication that changes the brain's chemistry. I love my little boy and don't want to change the way his brain works. And I surely don't want to deal with the side effects of brain altering drugs! I just needed to find a way to teach him in a way that makes sense to him and holds his interest. For the most part, it's working. :)

Radha - posted on 10/02/2009

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Hi Laura,

My second son was suffering with mild ADHD. But I got him diagnosed when he was 10 yrs old. You need to engage your child in activities where he can burn his energy. like lawn tennis , yoga or any physical activities. Diet especially chocolates and aerated drinks can be avoided.

Kellie - posted on 10/02/2009

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Hi! Laura, I have two girls one is a 12 year old that has been diagnosed with this. She to is very smart except she is a very slow reader not that she can't reed she just take her more time than the others she has 100 percent comprehencion. For her it is all about not having enough time to get the work done in class or at home that everyone else does. It did'nt help that before she would get destacted by the smallest things. We also seeen this slow behavior at home with everything she did. She was put on cacerta which helped her not get destacted buy thing like dust in the air or on the desk. Before they use to have a aide who sat beside her all day to try and keep her working and that worried me because I was worried that she would never learn to do the work on her own. Now she read on her own I don't have to sit and listen to her read not that I don't sometimes. But she has not had to have someone sit with her all the time to get stuff done. She and I both feel better about how she is doing She has regular visits with the Doc. and I try to stay in touch with her teachers. The inertnet helps alot with that. I don't know if my story helps you with this but I have had a few parents over the years from my girl's class that found out that their child was not being challenged enough. They went thought the paper work and the test to. I live in a small town so they would find out from other parents and then we would talk. good luck!

Tracey - posted on 10/02/2009

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hi i have a nine yr old girl with adhd at first i fought it as i didnt want her on pills but school got so bad i had to give in or keep her home,she started on ritalin worked great for 6mnths then she got worse than before so she went on concerta again no good made her jittery and faster so she went on dex behaviour a bit better but after a while i took her off the pills and she was slightly better but still getting sent home from school.i have had numerous organizations help she has even been to a special school for behaviour and was expelled we only get helped to a certain degree then it is too hard and they give up she is now on strattera after being drug free for 18 mnths and going marginally better,she is at school 3 half days a week and so far no suspensions im hoping we can have more days soon as i worry she is behind although the school has told me this is not the case as she is very smart i have lost my job and we dont do anything as a family or go anywhere with her as it is too hard.it really makes your family disfunctional and its very hard to keep going sometimes you just want to walk off and never be seen again.so many people say i dont know how you cope how you put up with it.they are your children you love them and you have no choice you have to cope you have to put up with them and keep on hoping one day a miracle will happen and you can enjoy a normal life again.thanx

Maria - posted on 10/02/2009

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hi Laura my son was the same but nobody at my son school adviced me to have my son tested so he went all through primary school with the teachers thinkin he was naughty, when my son start secondray school it was here withintwo months thery picked up on it and said that i should get him tested for ADHD so i went down had him tested and he has a high form of ADHD he now has his tablets every morning and i have a new son, his grades have picked we get post cards from the school saying how much better he is and he also says he feel better and much more carmer.So i just want to say i know what you are going thoughsorry don't know what advice i can give because i don't know how i got though it i just did.

Cat - posted on 10/01/2009

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Quoting BranDee:

I have a 12 yr old with ADHD. We have been through it all. We had a different situation it sounds like. Our son had difficulty paying attention, sitting still, DISTRACTIONS!, and so on at home, at school, everywhere. So he had trouble learning because of this behavior. As I read on one of the post, it is important to note if he is having the behavior in all situations. If it is just at school, I would suspect he is bored, sounds like he isn't having any problems learning, which is great. I would definitely get him tested. This isn't always definitive but it has very useful information. If he does have ADHD: Things that I have found that work are consistency (changes in the schedule are not good), not expecting less of him (no excuses for his behavior), grounding (timeout when he was younger), and reminders (he has a dry erase board in his room for this). He has been tested several times, we have tried diets, and medications. He is on Ritalin now and it is helping him the diets and other stuff didn't help. I hope this helps.


The dry erase board is an awesome idea too!  Both of my chidren have one in their rooms and we have a family one in the living room!!  Great advice!

Cat - posted on 10/01/2009

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Hi Laura!



Well Congrats! You have hit the first level! You understand there is an issue and that ADD/ADHD might be the cause. I have been dealing with this since my son was in K. I pulled him out midway through his first grade year and homeschooled him through 2nd grade. I homeschooled my daughter during her K year. Last year they both went to public school - because their father (my ex) - doesn't believe in ADD/ADHD and demanded they be in school. To keep the peace I put them back in school and then work with them directly every night. Both of my children are very smart, but they act just like your sons during the school day (and at home). It is easier for me to get them back on task because it is one on one. During the school day it is difficult for the teachers to get them back on task because she has 20 other children to work with. This year I lucked out, both of my children's teachers are taking steps to work with my children. I have already met with them several times this year and we have started giving them checklists of things to do every day and implemented reward systems both at home and at school!



My advice to you....work on their diet a little bit. (Less sugar, sodas and carbs. - Not a drastic change...just don't put sugar in their cheerios and let them have sodas every day and serve pasta every night.) Try not to let them drink red juices or eat red foods like red jello, cereals with red bits, etc. Red #40 is on the lable if it is in the food and my kids know to look for this before they ask if they can try a new snack. Just by lowering their sugar intake and foods with Red #40 I saw a change in my children. The reward systems have helped immensly too! Also...STRUCTURE IS HUGE! Try to make sure they are following a routine that they do every day and find a way for them to spend an hour or so every day doing something really active. All of these things should help a little and may eliminate the possibility of using drugs - which is not an option for me. Period.



All in all, pray for understanding teachers every year and count your blessings that your husband is supportive! Good luck! :)

LaTashia - posted on 10/01/2009

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I will be praying for your son Laura i have a 6 and 2yr and i understand how u feel.

Judy - posted on 10/01/2009

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My son was diagonised in grade 1 with ADHD . He is now in his last year of primary school and has had learning difficulties with maths mainly. He is also going through puberty at 12. Our choice has been Omega 3 rather than medication. He has never taken any medication and We dont plan to give him any. The Omega 3 has taken the edge of his saddness. Cos a little issue can be the end of the earth for my son. He dosent seem to have them symptons and he beleives in his head that the omega 3 is making him smarter at school. ADHD kids dont like their routine changed, no surprises and they go well with lists, tasks on paper. Worst times were the school holidays cos daily routine wasnt the same.
I have seen the affects of medication on friends childrens

[deleted account]

Laura, My son also has some behavioral issues and he's very smart. I would never, however, consider putting him on meds. A friend gave me this book to read and I think you should read it, too. It's called "Unraveling the ADD/ADHD Fiasco: Successful Parenting Without Drugs" by David B. Stein, PhD. It's a fast read and a life changer. Don't do anything else until you read this book. Some of you on this post should read it, too.

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