ADHD and inappropriate behaviors

Nancy - posted on 04/07/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My little guy is 6 years old and was diagnosed and started on medication for ADHD 1 1/2 years ago. My issue is for the first 5 years, as a single parent, it was VERY difficult dealing with bad behaviors. Over time, he got his way much of the time because he would not give up, but would go on for hours. NOW he's on medication, but the inappropriate behaviors are still there. I realize that I pretty much need to start over, reinforcing the rules that I first tried to instill in him when he was much younger. THIS IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY! There were many things I allowed him to do knowing they were bad decisions on my part. My goal everyday, was just to get through the day! How can I even begin to get the control back from this child?

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Raye - posted on 04/07/2016

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Just remember that nothing will seem like it's working in the beginning, because he's going to keep pushing those boundaries to get you to break. Once he realizes you won't break is when things will start getting better. Good luck! It will be worth it!

Raye - posted on 04/07/2016

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To start out, he will be confused about this sudden change. When he exhibits a bad behavior, tell him that is bad behavior, and tell him what the punishment will be next time it happens. Now he's aware of the behavior and consequence. Then EVERY TIME he does that same thing you have to consistently and immediately implement the consequence. Tell him that he knew the rule and he chose to break it so now he gets the punishment. Make your punishments appropriate for the "crime", and give them time to work. He will definitely push back because he's used to getting his way, but DON'T give in. Over time, if it appears the punishment is not deterring the bad behavior, then you may need to find another approach that would work better. Don't switch too often, and give each one time to see if he starts getting the idea. Also, try not to overeact to the bad. If he gets a big reaction from you, he'll keep doing it. Be calm and ignore any screaming, crying, etc. (unless he starts name calling or destroying property, then he needs additional consequences for that). It will be a ton of work, but you'll both be happier in the end.

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Nancy - posted on 04/07/2016

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Raye, Thank you SO MUCH! Everything you said made a lot of sense! I like the idea to take (baby steps) by trying different punishments, until finding one that works for the particular child. Thank you for your input! Nancy

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