Adhd and school

Amanda Lynn - posted on 03/23/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I am a mother of a severely adhd 10 year old boy. My dilemma is whether or not to homeschool or let him remain in public school. I refuse to medicate him because of the side effects that he has experienced while on medication. I worry that he may not be learning in the way that is necessary for him. He is a constant distraction in class and unfortunately is unable to function in a classroom of other children. Everyday is a battle for him there. He comes home very upset and uses the phrases "im stupid", "nobody like me" and "my teachers hate me". As a mother its my instinct to protect him from these feeling of inferiority. In the most recent meeting with his teachers they are adamant on medicating him. I explained that i understand that it is difficult to make him stay on task but i feel that with all of us working together it can be done. They looked at me as if i was speaking a foreign language. They proceeded to explain to me that they have too many students and it would be nearly impossible for them to work a little closer with him. I, as politely as i could explained to them that i was not going to medicate my child just for their.benefit. Im at a loss at this point. Please if you have any stories or advice that you feel may help, please post them. Thanks

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~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/25/2013

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Since you are completely unwilling to medicate your severely adhd son, who by your words "I worry that he may not be learning in the way that is necessary for him. He is a constant distraction in class and unfortunately is unable to function in a classroom of other children. Everyday is a battle for him there. He comes home very upset" I suggest homeschooling him. Flat out.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/25/2013

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If your son was in my class, and making it so my son was not learning, I would be raising hell. So start expecting other parents to be upset with you if their children cannot learn due to the teachers paying all the attention to your son. Clearly the teachers are having a difficult time, and you just are not willing to see or understand the challenge. You are not there in the class to see. You are not the one trying to teach a classroom full of students.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/25/2013

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Hold on here, that is exactly what he needs. If he cannot pay attention in class, and he is disrupting everyone else, what do you think he needs? You are not seeing the whole picture. You are not seeing how he is taking time away from everyone, and not benefiting himself. He DOES need special attention. That is pretty much what the teachers are telling you also. That him not being on medication is making it impossible for them, and your son. You can take all the offense you want. You know I am speaking the truth, and if you really cared about the well being of your son and others in his class, you would take your blinders off.

"They proceeded to explain to me that they have too many students and it would be nearly impossible for them to work a little closer with him. I, as politely as i could explained to them that i was not going to medicate my child just for their.benefit. "

This first sentence is them TELLING YOU tactfully that he needs special one on one time. Especially if you are not willing to give him medication to help him focus, and clearly your next sentence says you are not. That is fine, that is your prerogative. But now if you are NOT going to medicate him, you need to go a different route with him, which would be special classes, or teachers. This is not a failure to do this, this would be the action of a proactive parent that does not expect her son to be the center of a class that the teachers cannot deal with. Get with it.

Amanda Lynn - posted on 03/25/2013

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First of all, I never asked for "special" attention. All I asked for was some help keeping him on task. I dont think that falls into the category of "one on one time". If the teachers would give.me suggestions about what he may need, then i wouldn't be asking for.advice in the first place. However, thank you for your post, I found it absolutely useless.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 03/24/2013

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Hold on here, you medicating your child would not just be for the teachers benefit. If he is distracting the whole class, who is actualy learning? The teachers have more students than just yours, and would love to teach every one of them...but cannot devote all their time to one single child. You should not expect that. If there is a special education class in the school, maybe that would be a better option since they are geared to teaching children with special needs, and being able to devote more attention to each student.

The teachers are suffering.
The other students are suffering.
Your son is suffering.

It sounds like many people would benefit to him being on medication. There are many out there, and if you don't want him to be on it...that is of course your right and choice as a parent, but maybe ask him what he wants. He is 10.

If you are not willing to work with the school, (quite frankly the teachers are trying to work with you and let you know how difficult it is...but you are seemingly not getting that) then maybe it is indeed time to home school him if you cannot find special education. Your son is not the only student, there are others in the class that are there. Please remember that.

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