ADHD is getting the best of me too....My 7 year old was has ADHD with impulsivity. (No anger, but just being overall impulsive). Mornings are so hard for us. I get up at 5:00 to be ready because I can't depend on him to do anything on his own. I have tried pictures, charts, checklists, arms length away (following him around-step by step). There is a part of me that feels like some of this is him bypassing the system so to speak and being a little manulipative knowing we will do it with him/for him. Along with this he has a sensory component with food. He eats nothing! Between this and the medication I worry all the time. He is tall for his age, but so thin. I have him on Ensure, but he just refuses to eat because he can't. We go to Speech Therapy to find out what triggered this as he won't eat fruit, veggies, pasta, casseroles, etc. We have a double edge sword with the medication and pickiness. I am upset, frustrated and cry everyday going to work. I have a 3 year old son that manages himself every morning. I do realize that Hayden can't help most of this as his medication has not kicked in. We medicate for school only and parent through the rest. We do counseling as a family, OT to assist with the handwriting, and a pshycharist for medication. We reward good behavior and do our best but I feel like no matter what we do nothing works. I set an alarm in the morning and he doesn't want to get up. I don't do TV in the morning, and I just don't know whatelse to do. Does anyone else experience any of this? I just feel hopeless and stuck.
Ariana - posted on 01/25/2013
I would try to talk to the councellor about this issue and try to see if they have any ideas on how to make this work better, or if you could put a plan in place.
Unfortunately there seems to be a lot of different things going on so it is difficult to know how much of this is, like you said, him sort of manipulating it, and how much of it is him really not understanding.
My suggestion would be to make him accountable for ONE aspect of the routine. So maybe do what you're doing and lead him through almost all of it, except one part. Possibly go through with the pictures list, and have it so he has to carry it around with you while you help him, and then leave one aspect just to him and let him get it organized. I don't know your specific routine so it's hard to give a suggestion on what would be the best thing. It would probably be best to get it done at the beginning or end of the routine. You could make him responsible for getting his boots jacket etc on by himself without your help (or whatever it is that's last that he isn't doing on his own). Work to make it so he just does this ONE thing. Maybe the whole routine is to much for him to figure out on his own so he's manipulating it so you have to help him.
You can give him tons of praise just like you have been when he manages to get it done on his own. I would confirm with the councellor whether or not it's acceptable to refuse to help with the last section. I don't know the child or what he's capable of but if you feel he legitimately IS capable of doing the last part and simply not complying don't help him.
Once he's able to do one aspect of the routine consistently (for a long period of time so he can feel successful in his accomplishment) join another aspect of it with the one he's already accomplished. Work with him to do it more and more independantly until he's doing both aspects on his own.
Like I said though, I don't know his capabilities. You have to try and find the line between what he's incapable of doing and what he's just refusing to do. You don't want any real issues he's having become a way for him to manipulate it so he acts like he can't do more (or maybe believes he can't do more). It's your son so you'll know best which was it is.
I would try to work with the counsellor and tell them about these issues and see if they can find a way to help you figure things out. You definitely have a lot of things to deal with!
I would talk to the doctor about the food issue and see if there's something you can put in his regular food that is fattening, without changing the taste.
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