ADHD son, school discrimination, etc - need help!!!!!

Sherry - posted on 04/13/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




My son and husband have severe symptoms. My daughter has ADD. I requested evaluation for my daughter to receive accommodations (a little extra time on tests and a recorder for notes) but she was denied. They said she doesn't have ADD. Of course, they are wrong. She has just about every symptom in the book and has been diagnosed outside of school.
My son NEEDS help NOW! He has always improved the school's overall score whereever he goes. He has missed being in the top 1% of the STATE 2 or 3 times - by a point or two. He flies through tests because he's bored with them. We don't know what he could do if he could focus. But, he is labeled a "bad kid". He has been getting suspended since pre-K. Now in 8th grade, we got a second home visit about his behavior and they suggested counseling (he's been going. He's also been on meds since 5 yrs old). He has been trying very hard to improve and he has. But, he's still labeled by the "bad kid". It's as if the school doesn't want him to improve (ie: who else would they blame?).
This year, he applied for the early college high school. On the pretest, he scored the highest in the school and maybe the county. He was denied entry. Both his best friends who applied got in). I think it was because of his behavior. I met with the counselor and asst principal this year (before EHS apps). They told me one thing, then did the opposite. After receiving the denial letter, my son says there is no reason to behave....he might as well be the "bad kid" they all believe he is.
I didn't know he could have a behavior seems to me the school should have suggested it (at least during one of the home visits or at school "meet to discuss B". Nothing.
Can the early college deny telling me why they denied him entry? Can the middle school go back and change his records after I request a copy? What can I do?
I think my son has been discriminated against because of his ADHD. Now, he is SUICIDAL!!! Yes, I took him to the ER - that was a joke! His dr. called mobile services.
I am waiting a call to have him see a child psychiatrist....we live in a very rural area and it's a drive and a LONG waiting list for access.

Please help!! My son is in trouble!!

My daughter has been having "meltdowns" since she was a toddler. They got much better. Now, they are worse - she broke her bedroom door off the hinges the other night. She is very jealous of her brother. They fight ALL the time!

Teen years are bad enough, but with their AD/HD, my husband's ADHD, and my disabilities (not AD/HD), the _____ is hitting the fan!!!

Please, somebody give me some tangible advice (please, no criticism - we've had enough of that!!)

Thank you in advance!


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Sherry - posted on 04/13/2015




Thank you all for your input! Yes, my kids have been officially diagnosed. They are on medications (it doesn't help their dad is AD/HD....I feel like I have a 54yr old son....he usually doesn't remember to give them their meds in the morning. The middle school just started giving my son his mid-day meds regularly this year - though he has been on mid-day all this time). We have been through a gambit of medications. I have found Intuniv helps my son, but when our insurance went to generic, he had major issues. He is also on Methylphendate. It seems to be his best yet (strattera made him mean). But, even with his improvements the school seems to not want to remove the "bad kid" syndrome. He gets failing grades in almost all classes at midterm but usually all A's by the end of term report. He's in advanced classes, but still bored. This ECHS is considered high school, but advanced and gives college credits.

My daughter failed reading on the EOG, but had good grades. The school first refused to even evaluate her because of her grades. She struggles so hard, it has destroyed her self-esteem. The report she got said she has no issues (and no ADD).

I will go to the schools this week and ask for evals for both. I think I should meet directly with the principal for the middle school, since I have had problems with the counselor and vice. I will ask to see their records.

We are in the U.S. - in a very rural and poor county. I wanted to get out of the city after the's not a bad area, don't get me wrong, but not good when you have kids that need help and they are not on Medicaid.

Ev - posted on 04/13/2015




I also have to address the issues of the school not helping you out at all. By federal law, all students are to be equipped with the necessary help they require to succeed in school be it resource classes, one on one help while in a classroom, and therapy. THe school can not deny you access to their records. The school can not legally change anything in a child's file either to suit their needs. Schools are required to help parents find resources for testing. Also, no one in that school is a certified psychologist or someone who works in that field unless the school system employs one that can say if a child has any sort of issues. They can see signs of issues and then advise family members to have testing done. This is teachers, aids, and anyone else not qualified in the psychology area.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 04/13/2015




I have to ask the most obvious question first. Have your children been actually tested and diagnosed for ADD AD/HD? You said your son is on meds. Is it not helping? Do they need to be adjusted by the doctor? Is your daughter on meds? ADD and AD/HD are grossly over diagnosed. If your kids truly have it, then have a sit down with the teachers and principle for both children. WITH medical documentation in hand. If they are both going to the therapist that will help.

Ledia - posted on 04/13/2015




I'm not sure where you live, but I am in the US. Here, behavioral records do have a strong influence on acceptance into our Magnet programs (called different things in different states, but it sounds like the program your son applied to--for academically advanced learners). Here, scoring is divided into 5 sections, Test scores, GPA, Behavioral records, and Student Statement or Interview. The behavioral records hold a lot of weight and it is very common for students who may have lower test scores to be admitted over those with higher test scores if the student with higher scores has a lot of behavioral infractions. This is because one student's frequent misbehavior can lower the quality of learning for all of the students. So it is pretty likely he was turned away due to his behavioral records.

Does your daughter have an IEP (Individual Education Plan)? If not, get her on one. In the US, EVERY child is entitled to an IEP whether it is determined that they have a mental disability or not. That said, if her issue is ADHD, a recorder and extra time on tests would not benefit her at all. Instead, a more hands on learning environment, and some skill building exercises to help her with taking notes and retaining the information. For example, some children with ADHD do better taking visual notes (drawing pictures) than writing the notes out in words. Find what works for her--her behavioral therapist should be able to help you with that--and help her build those skills.

Do both of your children see the same behavioral therapist? If so, you might consider seeking out a second opinion if both are continuing to have serious issues. I'm not saying the therapist is not a good therapist, just maybe he or she is not a great fit for your kids.

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