Adjusting from working to becoming a stay at home mother

Joleen - posted on 05/19/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I am so hapo be able to be at home with my baby girl and my teenage Step daughter but I worked for 20 yrs prior, my baby is now 1yr old but I worked from 12 weeks old until April 5,2012, my babysitter, my mother in law, got sick and could no longer take care of her, so my husband I did not see day care as an option so I quit my job of 8 years, does anyone understand what I am going through? Again, I am greatful and I am very happy to be home but I just need to adjust.

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Kay - posted on 05/20/2013

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I understand... the only thing you have to ensure is that you dont totally isolate. I've isolated so much that I find it hard to mingle like I did before I had children.

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Yes! It is a HUGE adjustment. When I first quit my job to become a sahm, I actually gave up and went back to work, only to quit again, and repeat the process three times :P

Here are some of the tips that helped me adjust.
I treat staying at home just like I treated my career--I write down my goals, then develop action plans for achieving them. I write down my tasks in order of priority and keep both a daily and weekly list going. When I finish something, I mark it off (or delete it).

I make sure I stay active and keep my professional skills honed, just in case I ever do need to return to work--I volunteer at my son's school and our local homeless shelter. I'm not great with people, but I have found ways to use the skills I have, and skills that will be valuable in the workplace. I organize fundraisers, set up corporate sponsorships, and direct a reading program at school. I do the same at the homeless shelters. Not only does this keep me professionally qualified, but it gives meaning and purpose to my life--it keeps me out of that "sahm rut" that so many moms fall into, where they feel their day to day lives are too repetitive and lack worth.

Make sure you keep your social life and make time for yourself EVERY DAY. When we worked, we had a lunch hour, but at home, that hour is not really ours anymore. Make sure you take an hour for yourself either first thing in the morning before the children wake or after they are in bed. Also, keep (or create) a hobby--I organized a mom's book club at our local library 4 years ago. It is still going strong, I have made some AMAZING friends, and I look forward to meeting every month. The program has actually been extended to other branches (but I don't head those, I just let them use the same action plan). Your kid needs a social life too, so don't shy away from chatting up a mom at story time about joining you for a playdate at the park.

Joleen - posted on 05/21/2013

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Thanks I do need to continue to be social but its hard, it seems like there is not time, but I need to make time.

Joleen - posted on 05/21/2013

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Thanks your right, I need to sit back and appreciate and enjoy every minute. :)

Jodi - posted on 05/20/2013

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I understand what a huge adjustment it is. I worked full time when I had my oldest, but I quit work when I was pregnant with my youngest. I was 35 years old and had never been out of work in my life before that, and it was a massive change for me.

I am now doing the opposite adjustment - after 8 years at home, I am back to full time work, and it is yet another major readjustment in my life. Enjoy your time being home with your little one - it goes all too quickly :)

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