Lisa - posted on 09/03/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )
Well… I have nothing against lesbians per se. But at 16, and not even a day after returning from the camp she worked at all summer she tells us this. The “girlfriend” was also at the camp and is a proclaimed lesbian and has dated other girls already, so clearly and most likely has been the aggressor.
I do not have any biological children. And now the hopes and dream of maybe one day watching our daughter have a baby feels like it’s starting to slip away. I know, I know, a lesbian can also have a baby. But… it’s not the same.
Anyway, our daughter suddenly is smack dab in a relationship that we didn’t see coming and also, she has NEVER dated before. And up until now has made no secret of being obsessed with a boy in school for the last 2 years at least. So the news is really coming as a shock to us.
But there’s more…
Before she “came out” so to speak, she, while still at the camp had called and asked, no make that TOLD me that there would be a sleep over with this “friend”. then the next week said she wanted her to stay over for 1 -2 days!!!! That’s under our roof of course. My first reaction (without knowing fully of the relationship at this point) was to just pause a bit and say ” That’s a long time, 1-2 days”.
After getting off the phone, I thought more about how strange this was that after being away for the entire summer all she was focused on was having this “friend” over instead of just coming home and maybe having some time with us here.
It is infuriating that she tried to engineer basically having sex in her room with her “girlfriend” without our knowing and under the pretense of them just being friends. But…as I’ve said in my previous posts, she is very manipulative.
We have made it clear that we feel that she is too young to “date” exclusively, no matter what the sex. We are concerned that the girlfriend is influencing our daughter in a big way.
Oh! And I forgot to mention, the girlfriend was also adopted from an orphanage. And at age 3. So she is bound to have RAD (reactive attachment disorder) and probably a bunch of other manipulative tendencies, etc.
I proceeded to request from the woman who runs the camp, a way to contact the girlfriend’s parents. The next day or so it looks like someone tried to call me as there’s a number from this girlfriend’s location on my caller id. No voicemail however and no email. We do want to talk to one or both parents to get their take on the situation and learn a bit more about this girl through them. We do know that the parents are not in support of her being gay. So we’re guessing they will be understanding when we express our concerns about our daughter becoming deeply involved with her.
Haven’t been quite ready to call that number. But when the time feels right, I will….
Thanks for reading. Your supportive comments are welcome and appreciated