Adoption?

Brittany - posted on 05/06/2016 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I am thinking about adopting a 2 year old girl named Sydney who was born January 3 and her sister Autumn who is 7 months old born October 1. Sydney was born with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and her sister was also born with FAS as well as mild hearing loss in her right ear and moderate in her left so she wears hearing aids. The kids also might have hypotonia. They are in Florida and I am in New Jersey, and I will need to travel. I have always wanted to adopt and since my miscarriage (I found out this morning) I have been even more into it. Has anyone adopted? Especially special needs children? Thanks!

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Sarah - posted on 05/06/2016

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Ok, I do think it is time to close this one up again.
Brittany whomever you are; if you had a miscarriage this morning and you were due October 1st like you claimed, you were 19+weeks, that is just a few days shy of pregnancy loss being considered a stillbirth rather than a miscarriage. You'd not be up and about at Walmart and the Chinese buffet and certainly not fit to go to court or medically stable to adopt two kids. Do you think we are all stupid, and don't notice all of your other posts? How dare you!

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2016

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If the children had FAS, why were the children not removed from their mother in the first place? Child Protection would have been involved. Knowing what I do about how these things work, I don't understand why the children have not already been removed.

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2016

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I agree with Evelyn. Having had two miscarriages myself, a grieving process is pretty normal, and the grief is very real. Allow yourself time to process that grief.

With regard to the adoption, whose children are they?

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Sarah - posted on 05/06/2016

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Ok I opened this up and then I will close it in a bit....
Brittany; if this is BS, you insult every mother of adopted children and the families who agonizingly wait for the chance to adopt. You don't go from "thinking about it" to court is a few hours. Kids are not like pets at the pound. You'd have to have your SIL parental rights terminated. Also, to legally adopt you have to have a home study, be approved, all sorts of hoops to jump thru. Calling you 2 yo a b*** is not cool, but not grounds to terminate her rights. Even if the parents WANT to surrender their kids to the system; it doesn't mean that you get to adopt them just like that.

ETA: if you had a miscarriage today you medically won't be able to go to court Wednesday as well. What it the real story?

Jodi - posted on 05/06/2016

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So all of a sudden, these children are on your profile as your children.....adoption does NOT happen that quickly. Especially on a Friday night/Saturday.

Brittany - posted on 05/06/2016

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I am adopting them for certain, because I just found out that she calls the 2 year old a b***. We are going to court Wednesday. After that and 2 other court meetings, we will officially have the girls!

Sarah - posted on 05/06/2016

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Adopting kids you are related to can be very complicated. How would your relationship with your SIL and her husband handle the transfer of parental rights? I am not saying that you should not, but if these kids are in an unsafe environment then they should be out of the house and in foster care already. Would they just voluntarily surrender the kids to you?
I am sorry about you loss, I have lost pregnancies and twins at birth as well. There is no way to replace that baby. Would you continue to try to have kids of your own if you adopt?

Dove - posted on 05/06/2016

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You don't have to TELL anyone that the child has FAS... the doctors would know (hence getting the diagnosis in the first place) and would have the family under investigation at the very least.

Brittany - posted on 05/06/2016

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Hello Jodi! I am sorry about your miscarriages. They are my husbands sisters children. I want to take them so she knows if she has another child, she shouldn't drink or I will also take them in. Actually, she is quite Ok with us taking them in. Her husband and her always get drunk in front of the kids and I feel like I need to take them in. What do you think?

Brittany - posted on 05/06/2016

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Hello Evelyn! I have actually been looking at them for a year now. I am glad you never had a miscarriage. Have a great night!

Ev - posted on 05/06/2016

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I am wondering why you are so quickly moving onto adoption after just finding out you lost a baby in a miscarriage. I won't ever know what it feels like to have that happen, but my concern is that you have not yet allowed yourself time to heal from the loss.

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