Adoption ~ Your views

Andi - posted on 06/30/2009 ( 40 moms have responded )

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we have 2 adopted and 3 natural

wondering what others think about adoption .

I think if God has Blessed you with A natural child we should open our hearts to A child that doesn't have A family ..My feeling ,whats yours ?

40 Comments

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SARA - posted on 05/06/2011

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I think that this is all good, so long as the children do not feel different to your biological (or as you term it- natural-) children and that you are open to the idea that there might be adoptive families out there who can offer the child a home that doesn't have a division between adopted (unnatural?) and 'natural' children. Not having a family should not make a child a second class citizen against a chlld who is lucky enough to be with their 'natural' parent.
But I am sure that your terminology does not reflect your love.

Michelle - posted on 07/03/2009

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We have been blessed with 2 bio children and given our gift of our adopted child. We didn't know how we were ever going to adopt, then a friend came into our life and told us about state adoptions and this is how we got our gift. We did go through a heart break when the state matched us with 2 children and then messed the paper work up and had to give the birth mother rights to start all over again. We still keep these children in our prayers. We hope to be blessed again. Good Luck to everyone seeking an addition to their family.

Heather - posted on 07/03/2009

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I was adopted at 5 weeks old, and my parents are my heroes. My brother is biological, but my Mother almost died giving birth to him. They let my brother be part of the process of choosing me, he picked me & told my parents I looked like a monkey, that cracks me up! I have never had any desire to seek out my biological parents.....I think adoption is the most selfless act by the parents and a beautiful blessing for the child/children. Kudos to you!

[deleted account]

I am absolutely for adoption. When you think about all the children (maybe even in your own towns) who are in the foster care system because of abuse or abandonment, how can that not just break your heart. God has Blessed me with 2 children, and 3 years ago I started praying for God to lead me in the direction he wanted me to go for adoption. My husband and I are currently looking into fostering with the intent to adopt.

[deleted account]

I was adopted when I was born and I could not ask for more, I was truley blessed by god to have such a waonderful family! Only one thing bothers me and that is I can't help but wonder who my biological father is, I do not know why, Lord willing I will find out one day I don't care who he is or what kind of person he is I just want to know who he is and get some kind of family history. I have family history from my biological maothers side so that is a help. I think it is wonderful to be adopted and I am all for it! PROLIFE BABY!!!!!

[deleted account]

Dawn... the point is the majority of people get by and don't have tens of thousands of extra dollars to adopt the perfect little baby... so "if" you have the money is a huge statement! "If I had the money", I would have adopted out of the country 10 times over! "If you have the money"....

Krisanne - posted on 07/02/2009

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I think any body diserves a chance in life why not help someone who is in need of love and comfort i think people who adopted children are angels from heaven and that they are blessed. If there were more people like you there would be less needy less hunger in the world.

Dawn - posted on 07/02/2009

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I have 3 beautiful children born natural!!! We have friends who just adopted a little girl born in Florida---everyone said it would be hard to get a newborn in the USA, but people are very wrong. Our friends filled out the paper work last July 2008, and found out they were accepted in Aug with the adoption agency and then they heard about their little girl in Oct. She was born in Feb and they got her that day. They just went and signed the papers last week. Birth parents in Florida have to sign over all rights. So if you have the money and can adopt within the USA I think you should at least try. There are so many unwanted children!!!

Barbara - posted on 07/02/2009

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We have 2 children of our own and are in the process of fostering to adopt. We all are looking forward to have our family grow and are very excited to see how God will be doing this.The process is so long and seems so many hoops to be going through. Our children is getting frustrated but we tell them to hold on tight. You never know when the phone is going to ring with good news.

Stacy - posted on 07/02/2009

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I have 2 biological children. Have thought about adopting but it is so expensive. My aunt has an adopted son from Korea and my sis-in-law adopted a son. It's a wonderful thing to do. I would love to do it but I don't think I can financially....

Paulette - posted on 07/02/2009

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Lani, I too agree that the system gives the birth parents many chances, however God aso gives us even more chances. He has given you a great gift to be able to help these children and if it is in HIS will you will have your forever family.

I never expected to be a parent to toddlers after my own children were grown, but HE had other ideas. Keep on praying, fostering, loving and he will put your forever family into your hands. Believe it and claim it.

Dara - posted on 07/02/2009

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Lani, I am so sorry and I do agree with you that the birth parents are given far too many rights. The system is a mess, though it has good intentions...but the bureaucracy is crippling. I found that many times the goals they profess were crushed by their own rules ie: consistancy in the child's life then you never have the same legal worker or counselor twice. BUT Lani, keep doing what you are doing. Our children, and I do mean that we all have a greater responsibility as a whole to all of the children in the system. Your example of love may be they only example they get through out their life and it may be the one they shape their entire life around. One gesture of true unconditional love can save a person's life. Never underestimate your influence. God wouldn't put a dream or desire on your heart to have children if he wasn't going to fulfill your dream. That is just not how he rolls. Obviously He has chosen you for His work because you are great at it. My son talks about his foster mom all the time. We call her Mamma Stacy. We always tell him that he has three mom, his bio mom, Mamma Stacy and me. What a lucky guy! I wish you all the best and if you ever need to vent, just msg me!

Dara - posted on 07/02/2009

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My husband and I have 2 biological daughter and we were blessed with our son through adoption. It was the right thing, God's plan for us. We looked right in our back yard. He was in CPS had been in foster care since 2 and we had a distant relationship to the family. We waited for the courts to terminate parental rights, so we took custody anonymously and we do not have the worries that his bio parents can ever reclaim him. We all bonded immediately and couldn't imagine life with out each other.

Mindi - posted on 07/01/2009

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Lani, so sorry to hear about your lost adoption. There can be so many frustrations while trying to adopt. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Hopefully you will find your forever children soon. Then all of the frustrations will be worth it. We had some frustrations during our adoption, but it is all worth it when I see my 5-year-old boy each day.

Mindi - posted on 07/01/2009

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When we were trying to decide which child to adopt (which country), my sister (who had adopted already) gave me the best words of advice. She said, "Imagine there is a family photo hanging on your wall. What do your children in that picture look like?" The amazing thing was that prior to her telling me this, I was unsure I could adopt an Asian child. But after she told me that, it was SO VERY clear to me that my child would be Asian. It was the right choice for us.

I say this because there are children around the world that need homes. Yes, there are children right here in America, but each family needs to decide what is right for them. The truth is, children who are not adopted in Korea are destined to have a much worse life than those in foster care in America. Unadopted Korean children are treated as second-class citizens and will NEVER live the same kind of life as other Koreans. That's just how their society is. So please don't look at American adoption as being better or something everyone "needs" to choose first. Each family just needs to decide what is best for them!

Paulette - posted on 07/01/2009

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I am the parent of four wonderful children. 2 biological and my two great neices who I adopted after having them in foster care for a yr and a half. It is difficult to raise toddlers when I am a grandmother to four children as both my bio's are adults, but I couldn't see putting these two babies back into the system after I had already bonded with them and they with me.

My biggest challenge is being a single parent and finding time to take care of myself.

[deleted account]

What a blessing! When my husband and I married he adopted my two boys whose father had totally stepped out. I believe so much in adoption, if more people were willing abortion may slow down.

[deleted account]

hi my names janet and im 42yrs old and i am adopted :i have 2 boys myself ages 14 and 11 i was 12 days old when i was chosen to become apart of my adoptive families lives. and i mean chosen 40 yrs ago unmarried mothers had no choice but to spend 9mths of there pregnancy in homes waiting to give birth to there newborn only to be told not to talk about the pregnancy with other unmarried mothers just to wait it out until the child was born in my case my birth mother was in this home with about 12 expectant mothers run by the salvation army. when i was born she didnt get to hold me or see me but was able to name me which is on my original birth certificate . i remember my adoptive parents telling me that when they came to see me after going through the stages of me being placed with them that there were about 6 babies lined up ready to go to a new beginning and my natural mother was no where to be seen .i was placed with a terrific family and extended family . i am truly blessed .oh how things have changed in todays world tho everything is so much more open right from the start adopted children can grow up knowing so much more about them selves and can even have there natural parents being involved in there lives along with there adopted family . i always thought about my birth mother strangely enough not so much about my father and was fortunate to meet her 7yrs ago that was so exciting as they say its like putting the pieces togther on the jigsaw puzzle . we have a spcecial bond we share and always will .

Christy - posted on 07/01/2009

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We have 2 boys (13yrs & 6yrs) & 1 girl 5yrs. Both our boys are adopted and we found out when our 2nd son was 5 1/2 months old that I was 3 months pregnant. We would NEVER change the way our kiddo's came to us. Our girl often says how lucky her brothers are because they have 2 mommy's. Though both of their adoptions are NOT open.......LOL We love them all the same for who they are not how they came to us....Sometimes the road to becoming parents has ALOT of twists and turns but at the end of the road you find the child you were meant to have...... at least that is how we have always felt.

Malinda - posted on 07/01/2009

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I think adoption is the highest form of love.



Our plan all along has been to "have 2, adopt the rest." And here I'm pregnant with our second and we have no idea what the future holds. My husband and I agree for us that if we were able to have children that it's fine to create "replacement beings," but after that we must consider the many children out there who do not have loving homes and the impact that has on the suffering of the world. I have seen others go through the process and find the whole thing *very* angering. When the time comes for us, I truly hope we can be strong enough to make it through all of the trials that the system (both locally and abroad) has put in place to make it more difficult for these children to receive the love they deserve.



I applaud all of you adoptive parents - current and prospective!!!

Tiffany - posted on 07/01/2009

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I have 4 "natural" children. I had to have a hysterectomy, so I can't have any more. I WANT more! I am hoping that another child will come into my family....for me to adopt.....my husband is "satisfied" with 4. He says 4 is plenty! lol. I can't help how much I love being a mom and being needed!

Lona - posted on 07/01/2009

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I think it's wonderful for people to adopt. I'm a foster parent and you can love any child whether biological or not. I've not adopted but I'd love to. I've had 7 foster children and they have all been special. I continue to see 5 of them whenever possible. I know that God sent each one into my life for a reason, and I love them all. I also have a young girl that I've always considered my daughter even though she's not. I love her as if she were my own. So if anyone is considering adopting this is wonderful, so many children need loving parents.

Tammy - posted on 07/01/2009

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If your not able to conceive yourself I think it is a great option there are lots of children out there that need good loving parents. I suggest an american child first we need to help our own country before the overseas children.

Gloria - posted on 07/01/2009

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we have adopted several times and i have two biological as well...God is the giver of life no matter how they come to you. I support adoption 100% there is no difference in the love in your heart at all for any.

Kimberly - posted on 07/01/2009

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We had 3 biological children and adopted 4 children. There are so many children that are waiting to be adopted. We go overseas and everywhere else to get children and they are right in our back yards wanting a forever home. It is the greatest thing we've done. If I had more room I would adopt more. It has opened my older childrens eyes and they want to do the same thing. What if we all gave our hearts to someone that sits and watches everyone else run to their mom and dad and families. What if we had to sit and watch and not have that? What a lonely life you would live!

[deleted account]

The only child my husband and I could concieve was full term still born. Since then many failed attempts at intertility processes. We are now foster parents with the goal of adoption... this process has been more emotionally excruciating than all the IVF we went through. The system is so screwed up, the hoops you have to continually jump through, it's amazing. The 3 sibling foster kids we have now are amazing, we have had them almost 2 years, we are on the verge of adoption, and now they are going back to their parents. In these types of situations the system gives "birth" parents way too many rights! Children need a stable, loving, hopeful environment. With people who love love them unconditionally. And we all wonder why these foster kids are so messed up. My husband and I will continue on, we have struggled along... One of these days we will have our family..... One of the biggest problems is money, even adoption from other countries, where many, many babies are available requires, at the very least, living expenses and that can up to the tens of thousands of dollars. So, normal people (meaning people who are not swimming in money), have to cowtow to the system, jump through their hoops, and hopefully one day we will be lucky enough to have that adoption. I truly apologize for sounding so very synical. But this process is heartbreaking and frustrating. But I know it will be worth it in the end.

LaCi - posted on 07/01/2009

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I think adoption is beautiful, I had my son, very much unplanned. But I love him and I love kids. I promised myself in the future-after I've made my life much more stable- I'm definitely adopting children. They deserve love and support and stability, and I would love to provide that.

Viki - posted on 07/01/2009

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I would love to be able to open my home and my heart to a child who is unlucky to not have a family. As long as you can afford the cost that comes with all the children, then there should be no problem. You didn't say whether or not each of them was well adjusted to the situation. Do you find that they compete for you attention? Do you belly children resent the other children? Does the foster child feel left out? Like perhaps he/she is just passing through while the others are allowed to stay? I think that these are the most important questions that need to be asked with regards to having/adopting/fostering more children. Especially with fostering, these children come with their unique issues which can be somewhat of a challenge. to parent.

MARLIES - posted on 06/30/2009

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i have 2 biological kids and 2 (twins) adopted kids....i love them all equally and each one has brought a special gift into our homes. my husband was adopted as was i, so it was a no brainer that we wanted to adopt as well!! i now have a grandchild who is the love of my life!! my adopted twins are asian, and my bios are "white"..we were told that it would take 3 years to adopt, we go our twins in 6 weeks, i really miss those days of watching them thrive after the start they had..each twin weighed in around 8.4 and they were 6 months old!! soo it was a battle in the beginning. if i could adopt again i would!! my twins are now serving in the US Navy, on the same aircraft carrier and have been deployed to iraq twice., my 1 bio is a paramedic in norther cal, and my youngest bio is a preschool teacher!! my family is complete!!

Marsha - posted on 06/30/2009

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God has blessed my husband and I with three wonderful children through adoption. I was unable to have children due to several medical conditions. My children are now ages 5, 4 and 3 (one girl and two boys) and our 3 year anniversary will be in October of this year. Adoption is a great way to grow a family!!!!

Sharyn - posted on 06/30/2009

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I think that even if you do have your own children and are able financially to support more children then it should happen. ....
there are many needy children out there who need love and affection and guidance and a home to grow up in.

Mindi - posted on 06/30/2009

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We have one daughter through birth and one son adopted from Korea. My sister has two children adopted from India, and my cousin has 3 adopted from Korea. We also have neighbors and friends with adopted children. Our lives have been so much richer for all of the adopted children in them!

[deleted account]

We have 2 biological, 1 adopted & we plan to adopt 1 more. If we were ever wealthy, we'd adopt 100 more! The process is hard, frustrating and long, and yes, we had "getting to know you" issues that we deal with even today. Yet we're thrilled we've adopted - ALL of us have learned so much about ourselves, each other, the world around us...the list goes on & on. And everyone who comes into contact with us has the chance to ask questions, be encouraged & SMILE at our family. I just wish it wasn't as time-consuming & expensive - more families would adopt, I think.

Melissa - posted on 06/30/2009

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We have one natural child and 4 adopted children. No matter how my children came into my life they are worth every struggle that we ever had to endure!

Julie - posted on 06/30/2009

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We have 4"tummy babies" and 5 adopted children and 1 Foster child. The 5 adopted children were adopted out of foster care. We have a very busy household. Sometimes we think what have we done? Usually we feel very Blessed by each one of our unique and fabulous kids.

Pam - posted on 06/30/2009

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I am blessed with two wonderful boys 13 & 8 whom we adopted. We were not able to have our own so we went through the Foster Adopt Program. It was a wonderful but trying experience.

[deleted account]

I'm 100% for adoption. My husband was adopted as an infant. In fact, we were 1/2 way through the foster care adoption process for a sibling set when I learned I was pregnant. Once the pregnancy was deemed viable, we opted to postpone the adoption. A year later, we decided that adoption will always be an option since there are so many older kids in need of a permanant home. But at this time in our lives, marriage, and careers, we are still waiting for just the right time to think about adopting again. My son is 4, and I think we'll re-evaluate our family when he is in 2nd/3rd grade.

Angie - posted on 06/30/2009

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I gave birth to 3 children and I love them dearly. If we decided we wanted another child we would adopt as well. We have settled on getting foreign exchange students - LOL.

Maria - posted on 06/30/2009

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I am blessed with 2 natural birth children. If ever my husband and I decide to have more, that will be the route we may have to choose. We have nothing against adoption. In fact, adoption is a wonderful alternative, since there are so many abandoned children in need of a stable home and family to love and nurture them and call them their own. I have an adopted brother who is very much part of our family and love him dearly as he is our own.

LeeAnne - posted on 06/30/2009

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God blessed me with no birth children, but instead 3 absolutely fabulous children who grew in my heart not under it. Adoption is a wonderful thing. My 16 yr old daughter wants to adopt when it is time for her to plan a family.

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