ADULT ASPERGERS

Cynthia - posted on 11/05/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

6

0

2

I have an adult late diagnosed daughter in her 30's with Aspergers. I absolutely don't know where to turn anymore...she is completely depressed, and so am I. she is currently seeing a Phychartrist, but things are not moving fast enough..we feel hopeless.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Diane - posted on 11/06/2013

16

0

2

Hi Cynthia!
I completely understand your feelings of loneliness as I have experienced them and do still experience them.
My son is 20 with Asperger's (not really quite as "high functioning" as Asperger's) and he was diagnosed at 12. (I'm 50 and was diagnosed earlier this year.)
He had lived with it all his life but until the diagnosis we had nowhere to turn, we had no idea what was "wrong".
Assuming your daughter was recently diagnosed please look at it as a blessing that after 30 years you finally know what she's been dealing with all her life (and what you've been going through as well) - it's been there all her life but now with a name put to it you've got a direction to go.
That alone can help with the depression because suddenly you, and she, are empowered. You know what you're dealing with and you can now look for the appropriate interventions.
Find a support group. It's very important. I've struggled with not having one and finally we've got one in my neck of the woods.
When you're sitting at the table, tears pouring down (I cry at the meetings), listening to the other parents, you'll honestly feel that they are speaking of your child/your life.
You'll find that they've been living the same life you've been living - the nightmares and the joys.
You'll suddenly feel included and understood, and your daughter will be respected instead of frowned upon by others (assuming she/her actions are sometimes frowned up - it's pretty typical for that to happen).
An example...
At our most recent meeting our speaker, a well-known county worker for the special needs community as well as he has his own special needs child, welled up while telling us a story he and his son had experienced, a very positive experience.
Positive experiences often come few and far between for families with children/young adult children with Autism and/or other [hidden] special needs.
When he was done speaking one of the boys (20+ years old) asked the speaker, loudly and from across the room, if he had come close to crying while telling his story.
Now imagine how many parents - with great embarrassment - would immediately shush their child for asking a question like that, in the middle of a meeting, of the speaker.
But at the support group meeting, rather than shushing the young man several adults congratulated him on being able to recognize the emotions of the speaker! I knew right then and there that I was in the right place. :)
Follow your gut instinct. If this psychiatrist is not working for her find another. It's definitely not a one size fits all sort of thing. I've been through many myself, as has my son.
But the big thing is find some kind of a support group. I know from experience that it's hard to find them (the one I found is almost 50 miles away) and then even if you do end up finding one it takes a lot of psyching yourself up to go (took me about 2 months before I was able to) but I'm telling you when you find one and you're amidst all of them you don't feel hopeless anymore, you don't feel lost, you finally feel home for want of a better word.
Go to WrongPlanet.net where you'll find parents and loved ones of those with Asperger's, as well as people themselves with Asperger's. The creator of the site, Alex Plank, has Asperger's. I've been there many times myself. :)
I wish you and your daughter the best with it all. If it helps at all, I've posted a large part of our story (mostly from his younger days, I haven't had much chance to do anything with it lately but I want to take it in an "adult direction" now since he's an adult) here: http://www.LifeWithASD.com -
When reading it you might find that it sounds like you're reading about your own life. That's what the support groups are like, and the parents at WrongPlanet.net. :)
My best to you and your daughter Cynthia! -- Diane

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms