Adult child entilied and VERY insenstive.

Christine - posted on 11/11/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have an adult daughter who recently moved out. She has had everything in her life. Cars, horses etc...She's adopted and we are divorced so I think I gave her two much. We have a 13 year old adopted son (her brother) and I have two step children. My son is amazing and so kind. My daughter has always been high maintenance. She got kicked out of college times and in in-between jobs. She was living at home causing everyone so much stress as she was rude, entitled and always angry about one word she didn't want to here. We have a good relationship when we never say anything to her about anything. She finally moved out. We helped her. Bought her things and did everything loving parents. She SO disrepectful and is always threatening NOT to be a part of my life. No matter what we do for her she becomes SO hateful SO quickly. I am sad as the only way to ever have a relationship with her is to let her run it. She's selfish and is a taker. Lately she's said, "get out of my life" so many times. She is a big part of our family and likes to be a part of it as long as it's on her terms. She makes me cry.


Jodi - posted on 11/11/2012




She's got you figured out. She knows that if she threatens to cut you out of her life, you will give in and do as she asks. You're right, she IS the one running things. So you know exactly what the problem is, and I think you know what you need to do, you are just looking for the support to do it. You absolutely have mine.

Let her carry through with her threats. My bet is it will last about 5 minutes. You are actually not doing her any favours by continuing to cater to her tantrums. Sometimes, being a parent hurts. Sometimes, we make the mistake of making decisions based on how we feel, not on what is best for our children. Be strong, and tell her no. Yes, it will hurt when she follows through with her threats, but I doubt it will last forever. She needs to realise the world isn't about her. She will only learn that if you stop making it about her.

~♥Little Miss - posted on 11/11/2012




Man. Time to let go and stop doing everything for her. Sounds like you have been unintentionally enabling her behavior. She may just have to find out on her own what it is like to be an adult. Tell her you love her and will always be there for her but you will not be disrespected in such a manner. That she is your daughter, but she hurts you terribly. Stop trying to buy her respect and love.


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Juliannemarie - posted on 11/11/2012




Well, if it were me. I would just leave her to her own life and wait for her to come around. She doesn't deserve you spending money on her. I would quit buying her things. She's an adult and needs to make it on her own. It seems like rewarding bad behaviour if you let her disrespect you and support her financially.

Lacye - posted on 11/11/2012




I think it's time to stop helping out your daughter. Does she have a job now? If not, then let her know that she is going to have to get one in order to pay the bills for that new place that you set up for her. If she doesn't, then she is out on her own. If you continue to bail her out, she is going to continue to take advantage of you and she is never going to grow up. She's disrespectful because you allow her to be. Maybe not in words but in your actions. She sees it as, "Oh well she's never going to stop giving me what I want so I can act as horrible as I can". If she threatens to not talk to you, call her on her bluff. That's all that is. She will come running back.

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