Adult child with Aspergers

Debbie - posted on 10/21/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My 28 year old daughter moved back home for the third time last fall after quitting a good position in another city. It was the third job she had quit in three years. She has now started her own business, but has had to take on two part time jobs to pay her medical benefits and business expenses, she does not save and spends money foolishly. I am retiring soon and my husband and I can't afford to keep paying her expenses. She has a college degree and is very bright. Advice appreciated.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 10/22/2015

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STOP ENABLING HER! Of course she's hanging on...you keep letting her, without any terms and conditions, it seems...

My adult son is on the Spectrum as well. He's 21, and has been living on his own for the last 2.5 years. He's been in and out of a couple of jobs, yes, but HE has figured out how to make it work, and if he NEEDS to borrow money, he ALWAYS works out a payment schedule and repays. The ONE time I offered to have him move back in due to an extended unemployment, he absolutely refused, because then he wouldn't be "being an adult" (his own words)

Get her on a contract for living in your home. Include expenses for her room and board, and what her responsibilities are. If you had a stranger renting a room, you'd do the same. This is NO LONGER your baby. This is your ADULT CHILD that you are not giving the tools to be a successful adult. Set a move out date. Make it reasonable...60 days from the date of discussion. This will give the woman PLENTY of time to get her ducks in a row, if she's responsible. She's lazy with her funds because she knows you'll foot the bill. STOP!

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