Adult daughter narcissistic personality disorder?

Gail - posted on 09/05/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )




I have a 27 year old daughter who is a single mom who is very hurtful & mean spirited & blames us for everything . She manipulates us with our 14 mo. old grandson! This has been going on for years & is compounded by my recent diagnoses of an early local reoccurrence of Breast cancer after 14 years & awaiting surgery ! My hubby on a kidney transplant list & close to dialysis She dies not care or acknowledge our situation. . We can see him but were not invited invited to his first birthday . Yet hesitantly gave her money to help her pay for the party which is challenging for us! This is slowly killing us! ☮🙏


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Elaine - posted on 09/06/2016




I hear your pain! I am so sorry! This is your daughter and you love her unconditionally. You probably hope that she will see your love and respond with kindness and appreciation. We all want that as Moms, but sadly it does not always work that way. You and your husband are probably willing to do extra because you have a grandchild as well and want what is best for this precious baby boy. It is clear that you are two very loving people. You cannot control your daughter or how she responds to you. If you choose to give her money, do it because you WANT to and let it go. You and your husband have a choice here, it is not your responsibility to keep giving to your daughter. She is now responsible for herself and for her child. If it hurts too much or causes to much stress to keep doing for her while she keeps blaming and mistreating you, you may want to consider that you are just enabling her to continue to treat you that way. You may need to pull back a bit and kindly remind her that you will not accept disrespect. You and your husband are also struggling with some serious medical issues. You need to keep your stress levels down and take care of each other. You might want to consider talking to your doctors and ask about counseling and other resources to get you through this time. Counseling may also provide some healthy ways to set boundaries with your daughter. If you belong to a church, reach out to them. Take care of yourself and stay strong! Wishing you peace and healing.

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2016




So did she ask you to help her pay for the party?
If so then you shouldn't have if you weren't invited. You are allowed to say no to her.
Has she been diagnosed or is that your label? Some people are just very self centered and don't care about anyone else, doesn't mean they are narcissists, they just expect everything their way.
All I can suggest is to stop and focus on yourselves. Your health needs to be your fist priority at the moment.

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